sun kissed visions

While breathing 
bits of sentences 
in and out and all 
night long...

  You killed my slumber dead you 
  slapped me 
  with your sweet 
   haiku.

     from clouds of color
     sun kissed visions fell through sky
     to be swallowed hot


                   

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© jnw

Reviews

[LoveAndDreams]

Short, but sweet! I liked this! :D

[Sheila Kline]

"Sleeping soundly I was when sunshine of morn awakened me, and turned my dreams and creative visions into those to be put to verse.....truly, they fell through sky filled with clouds of color - my ideas, and were swallowed hot, thus prompting my dreams to become reality"
......my intake of your words expressed with beauty and zest!

Nicely done!!
Welcome to the Cafe!!

[qaralynn]

nice! like it..

[Nothing Personal]

It's pretty darn good. the last three lines do the trick-- there's profundity in those ideas and scope for interpretations..not quite sure why you used haiku though..

[Jasmine]

this is quite original - "you slapped me with your sweet haiku"...nice! keep up the good work.

[Ice QueenJen]

Nicely written Jesse, look forward to reading more of your writing.

[Sharkapillar]

Amazing. So beautiful, I love the imagery. The flow is perfect.

[Deborah]

I like the opening lines, beautifully worded. The imagery you create is vivid.

[i.am.the.sun.]

i'm not following this all that well, not because i think anything was wrong with it, i just honestly thing the idea behind this is above me right now haha
maybe it's just not a morning read, who knows. but it's beautiful none the less, i got a really nice feeling from this.
i'll take a stab anyways, am i close in saying this is about being woken up from dreaming by your partner talking in their sleep?
cheers

[Helena Parris]

I'm no poet, but I understand how when the writing bug bites, well, you've got to start writing it down. It doesn't seem to matter whether it's prose or poetry. Like the other reviewers, I love the imagery you've created in this, and imagined sunbeams piercing the clouds to touch down on the poet.