The Destruction Of Paradise

The Destruction Of Paradise

A Poem by Skoo.

Bloodstain on the white dress
of innocent old me. 
Havoc's hell, and in the flames
I'll burn eternally.
The blade is sharp, but not enough
to cut away the guilt.
I burnt down every wall
and every bridge I ever built.

Come, watch the towers crumble, 
surrounded by the night.
I stand by and break down as
the pieces of me fight.
I can never win this battle
as the mirror cracks in two;
I'm stronger now, yet weaker,
all because of You.
 
You made me who I am
and yet it pains me to see
That all I am is not enough
But I just can't set You free.
I'm just a walking shadow, 
that song that no ones hears.
I deafened You with pain and anger, 
drowned You in my tears.
I'm the product of my parent's mistakes,
their nightmares, their fears.
And when my final words are breathed, 
they'll fall upon deaf ears.

But I'm to blame, I know that I alone
must face the guilt;
'Cause I burnt down every wall 
and every bridge I ever built.

© 2011 Skoo.


Author's Note

Skoo.
I wrote this one a while back, it was the first real poem I ever wrote...
Reviews and constructive criticism are muchly appreciated (: ♥

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Featured Review

This was the first poem you ever wrote? This is really excellent..
"The blade is sharp, but not enough
to cut away the guilt."
This is your debut effort?? Holy crap. I can almost literally feel the emotion while reading this; it's beautiful.
I cannot fully determine what this poem is about, but the ambiguity makes it applicable to multiple situations.
The rhyming, as well, is wonderfully done; I barely even noticed it the first time I read this, which is how it should be. It simply made the poem flow more smoothly, and did not detract from the poem at all.
This is SO much better than my early stuff :)

Posted 10 Years Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Even in paradise we have tears that fall, good poem.

Posted 10 Years Ago


this was amazingly done. i absolutely loved it.

Posted 10 Years Ago


Wow, Scooby! Fantastic first "real" write. Speaks to me of one who gave everything to a lover until there was nothing left of themselves. Wonderfully done. :)

Posted 10 Years Ago


Very good! I liked the writing a lot!

Posted 10 Years Ago


I like this poem. Remind me of when I was young and not afraid of nothing. I like the strength in the words and the directness of the poem. A very good ending to a outstanding poem. Thank you.
Coyote

Posted 10 Years Ago


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wow, very surprised at this being the first real poem you ever wrote. Very nice,
as always the rhyming is great. Flowed wonderfully

Posted 10 Years Ago


o.o wow..thats all i can say

Posted 10 Years Ago


an amazing poem Scoobybear, :3 i love it, i thought it sounded familiar then i remembered how you showed me it in english a while back :P xx

Posted 10 Years Ago


wow, wish my first real poem was like this. Its so good :)

Posted 10 Years Ago



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Added on March 13, 2011
Last Updated on March 26, 2011

Author

Skoo.
Skoo.

My Circuitboard City Of Yellow And Black, United Kingdom



About
My poems make little sense because my thoughts make little sense because my life makes little sense. I never class myself as a writer, 'cause I'm not one. I'm just some kid in the corner putting my n.. more..

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