2019 February 12th, Tuesday

Page 1

Day by day

 

2019 February 12th, Tuesday 

 

 

Like an elaborate chess game, my father plotted every meticulous move, on the dangerous thin ice of the highway, trying to stay afloat, above the snow

 

 

Skittishly swaying back and forth in the wind, from a lane of subtle safety, to others not so inviting, we made our way cautiously to the appointment

 

 

It had been a long week

 

 

It had been a hard week

 

 

It had been a cold week

 

 

And I had waited and waded and wallowed through the solitude of it all. And I was hopeful. For I knew that this was all I had. And it was everything I ever wanted

 

 

All according to plan

 

 

The snow clattering against the windshield, filled the silent air of the vehicle

 

 

The cars bumbled like bees and slid forward, towards a bright future. Towards a tomorrow of jobs, work, time, love, kinship, company, and eventually death. Wondering when time will stop for them too, eventually.

 

 

I, who had been living in a fog from day to day, saw clear skies and sunshine amidst the halo of ice and rain

 

 

And it stained me like glass that covered my suffering like the blanket of the past comforted the Hamilton cathedral like a walking paraplegic

 

 

And I wondered how a bipedal man had made me what I am

 

 

How I was forged in the fires of hades, and filed away for safe keeping, collecting dust like ashes, eradicated in isolation

 

 

And I saw the world fall in upon itself, cloaking its shivering form in its own spit

 

 

And I understood that it did not want to be here either

 

 

And I saw on the wall as I walked by, the words

 

 

Time is a precious commodity

 

 

And I honestly knew I had changed, long ago, in some dream of the past

 

 

That mass-produced me profusely

 

 

Isolated by the community

 

Author's Note

I'd like to know your thoughts! Oh, and you can expect more of this in the future. When the time comes, eventually, tomorrow, or perhaps later, but eventually.

Reviews

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

So good to see your face RJ! Your Chapter is so well-written with a cadenced flow and balance. Intruiging subject matter here, the strained or icy relationship between father and son- the yin and yang and son’s stark disbelief in the credibility of his “bipedal” creator. It’s such a paradox that we sometimes come from parents that are not ones whom we might have freely chosen even as friends, being given the choice. The containment of both people in the small space of the car “ on the dangerous thin ice of the highway” creates effective dramatic tension, suspense and is a great analogy for the fragility of the relationship. What is the mysterious and important appointment? Great imagery, metaphor and simile use. The story draws and holds the readers’ attention from beginning to end. Glad it will continue. Excellent write!

[R.J Calzonetti (SinisterPotatoe)]

I'm really happy you enjoyed my first chapter. The third chapter is a recap, but I won't spoil anything. Thought I'd take things one chapter at a time, I'm always happy to hear what you have to say. Thank you for the review, it enthralls me with the desire to make more.

- RJ

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

You are very welcome RJ. Loved this!:))