Something's Gonna Give! By T. Pina

A poem about broken relationships

We are two very strong headed, unchangeable persons, always clashing with each other in life!

We have both caused so much pain and heartless strife.

We're guilty of holding back each other from progressing on the roads of life.

Yet one thing's sure, in all this turmoil we call a releationship, that seems to always find it's way through our door.

The truth is, that's something's gonna give, we can't endure much more;

 

I truly loathed you for oh so long, yet for the kid's sake I keep quiet and tried to hold on!

Our years together felt like a prison sentence that would never end,

A thousand years of hell that help could never mend.

We can't keep living tit for tat, hoping to survive on a premise false as that.

 

We were never each other's soul mate, that was quite clear from our turbulent start.

 That shouldn't have been a reason, to break each others hearts.

If we don't stop playing these games, hurting with all this pain,

then something's just gonna give, if not we'll both go insane;

 

Didn't my hurtful words, I could never hold back, always cut you down?

 The times you stabed me through my heart with your infidelity,

didn't I patch myself up and try to stay around?

 

I'm not threatening you, hell  I would never do that.

 In all this misery, I'm just stating a true fact.

If we don't turn oursevles around and stop this destructive course,

then all that we sacraficed for will crash and burn.

It will do so with no remorse.

 

Because in the end something's gonna give, mark my words with that;

 Sad to say, like a bridge structurally damage under constant heavy stress;

Something's gonna give, it just alway's does!

Author's Note

The relationship from hell, that we all seemed to have gone through in life!

Reviews

[Rain]

I really like this. I liked the rhyme scheme. My only advice, and it's not a big thing, but if you broke your sentences down, where each one was app the same length. Example..
don't stop playing these games, hurting with all this pain,
then something's just gonna give, if not we'll both go insane;

don't stop playing these games
hurting with all this pain
then something's just gonna give
if not we'll both go insane

Those are just personal preferences, but I think it looks cleaner. Great piece.

[Josephine Vella.]

I can relate to this so well, and in reading I can also tell you suffer from so much stress and depression alike me, if I read between the lines properly and understood, you are much alike me, a person who gives to the ultimate max and never feels any worth for it or gets any recognition love wise, therefore creating a very Grey world, at least that's how I feel, but somehow what I get from reading your pain, love always Josie xoxo

[Brianna Brie]

Intensely emotional write. Yes, there are some lines that don't flow as smooth as others, but it is probably better kept untouched. In my own experience when I chop and dice a poem just to make it fit within a mold, it ends up loosing the message or heart/emotions. Now, I have learned to copy it before I make any changes. Sometimes the original poem is just plain better.

[JC]

What I like about this piece, is that it reads like a letter.

It is a bit lengthy in some of the stanzas, which makes the flow strain in some areas. So in this I agree with Hannah.
The imagery, however, is fantastic.

Sorry for the subject, but a good read.

JC

[WV_Poetess]

I really like this piece. Just keep in mind, when you find the one that enriches your life, you will appreciate her so much more for having endured the wrong one first. Sometimes just getting your exact thoughts out of your system help to see the whole world in a different light. Sharing things this close to your heart isn't easy, that I know for sure. Keep on writing!! I'll keep on reading it.

[emmajoy]

Relationships are like life, they come, they stay, they disappear sometimes leaving deep, deep scars.

Your poem is very intense, emotional.. yet you've put together a post that's incredibly moving, almost leaving a moral with one brief word BEWARE

I truly loathed you for oh so very long, yet for the kid's sake I keep quiet and tried to hold on!
Our years together felt like a prison sentence that would never end,
A thousand years of hell that help could never mend.
We can't keep living tit for tat, hoping to survive on a premise false as that.

The words above are like a Greek tragedy, they ring in the ears and mind even after getting to the end of the poem. Guess they're like scars in themselves.

It's a very sad piece, one that will linger in my mind.. that's what writing is all about.

[Poeticme]

This was really nice man!..I have been in a few relationships,but none that felt like this!..I was gone before it made it to that point.:-)..glad to see you moved on and can write about it:-)..TC! TJ and thanks for sharing..LATERS!!

[T]

Been there!!! I loved reading this out loud, I want to make it into a rap song!!

[laceyjane23]

Great way of getting your frustrations out! this is a very emotional, powerful piece. I think a lot of people can relate to this as well, great job in expressing yourself!
laceyjane

[JadedSparrow]

Have you been reading my journal?? LOL. I can totally relate to this poem. Like Hannah, I love the way it reads out loud. The structure of the poem could use a little work but all in all I enjoyed it and it is going into my library. : )

[T]

Wonderfully penned ... I've been there myself ... You've expressed the emotions of a broken relationship so vividly ... All the best to you ... aloha - Sunny