Something's Gonna Give! By T. Pina

Something's Gonna Give! By T. Pina

A Poem by PENS FOR PEACE /TJ CALIFORNIA
"

A poem about broken relationships

"

We are two very strong headed, unchangeable persons, always clashing with each other in life!

We have both caused so much pain and heartless strife.

We're guilty of holding back each other from progressing on the roads of life.

Yet one thing's sure, in all this turmoil we call a releationship, that seems to always find it's way through our door.

The truth is, that's something's gonna give, we can't endure much more;

 

I truly loathed you for oh so long, yet for the kid's sake I keep quiet and tried to hold on!

Our years together felt like a prison sentence that would never end,

A thousand years of hell that help could never mend.

We can't keep living tit for tat, hoping to survive on a premise false as that.

 

We were never each other's soul mate, that was quite clear from our turbulent start.

 That shouldn't have been a reason, to break each others hearts.

If we don't stop playing these games, hurting with all this pain,

then something's just gonna give, if not we'll both go insane;

 

Didn't my hurtful words, I could never hold back, always cut you down?

 The times you stabed me through my heart with your infidelity,

didn't I patch myself up and try to stay around?

 

I'm not threatening you, hell  I would never do that.

 In all this misery, I'm just stating a true fact.

If we don't turn oursevles around and stop this destructive course,

then all that we sacraficed for will crash and burn.

It will do so with no remorse.

 

Because in the end something's gonna give, mark my words with that;

 Sad to say, like a bridge structurally damage under constant heavy stress;

Something's gonna give, it just alway's does!

© 2008 PENS FOR PEACE /TJ CALIFORNIA


Author's Note

PENS FOR PEACE /TJ CALIFORNIA
The relationship from hell, that we all seemed to have gone through in life!

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Featured Review

I really like this. I liked the rhyme scheme. My only advice, and it's not a big thing, but if you broke your sentences down, where each one was app the same length. Example..
don't stop playing these games, hurting with all this pain,
then something's just gonna give, if not we'll both go insane;

don't stop playing these games
hurting with all this pain
then something's just gonna give
if not we'll both go insane

Those are just personal preferences, but I think it looks cleaner. Great piece.





Posted 15 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

All I can say is damn straight. Very well spoken.

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

THIS IS STRAIGHT TO THE POINT. THERE IS NO FUTURE IN THE PAST. THERE IS NO HOPE FOR THE PRESENT. IT IS ONLY THE THOUGHTS OF PAIN AND VERY LITTLE JOY. IF THAT`S WHAT LOVE AND HATE IS . TO BE HAPPY YOU MUST SIT DOWN AND WRITE FIVE HUNDRED TIME, I AM SORRY . THE PAIN WILL GO AWAY. LOL

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

A thousand years of hell that help could never mend.


I can certainly relate to this. So honest and raw. A relationship that was never good from the start and just hanging on like you expect it to get better some how. It's hard work and one or the other is always lazy. Very good work. the above line says it all. It could never mend.


Posted 15 Years Ago


And if something don't give...we live torturously ever after....

Hope something finally gave in for you!

Posted 15 Years Ago


very emotional poem, a relationship should never feel like a sentence!! this had a great rhythm to it, nice job. :-)

Posted 15 Years Ago


"If we don't turn ourselves around and stop this destructive course," This is the hope and the message is clear time is running out face the fact its time to change now or it will soon be to late. The poem has done a good job at making the fulcrum clear. Thanks.

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

What drew me in about this poem was the honesty and sincerity. Although every stanza screams that it could never work out and all you both do is hurt each other, there is a deep loss and sadness laced throughout. It's the painful realization that whether or not the love was ever real, love is not enough. Waking from the fairy tale that Disney has injected our souls with from childhood is like realizing that the only way to heal is to rip the bandage in one clean sweep.

"We were never each other's soul mate, that was quite clear from our turbulent start.
But that shouldn't have been a good reason, to break each others hearts.
If we don't stop playing these games, hurting with all this misery and pain,
then something's just gonna give, if not we'll both go insane;"

At least once it becomes clear there is some release in knowing what to do next. Thanks for sharing this poem.


Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

A brutally honest and direct piece that grabs hold of the reader and never lets go.

Written with directness. Sadness and frustration reign supreme, throughout this piece.

Very well done!

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

"Because in the end something's gonna give, mark my words with that;
Sad to say, like a bridge structurally damage under constant heavy stress;
Something's gonna give, it just alway's does!...."

Yes...it always does! I agree...Well...The structure has been well maintained throughout the entire write! Flow is also quite appealing to the reader as such...But I liked the real "emotions" behind it the most..As such it a very mature piece of writing with which most of us could relate ourselves.
The clashing of two hearts burning together with a rage of broken relationship has been so perfectly described!
It is surely very sad and must be hurting....Well! may be that's why it resulted in such a great piece..
Amazing work! :)

Keep writing ...

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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Pj
"Didn't my hurtful words, that I couldn never hold back, always hurt and cut you down?"- a powerful line right there!
Loved this, cut to the core- so emotive and strong! Nice work :D

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on July 5, 2008
Last Updated on September 5, 2008

Author

PENS FOR PEACE /TJ CALIFORNIA
PENS FOR PEACE /TJ CALIFORNIA

San Diego, CA



About
Born T. Pina on Feb. 13, 1960 in the South Bronx, New York City. Writing is truly the passion of my soul. The soul is that energy that keeps us alive and connected to the Universe. It is the most.. more..

Writing