I think

I think

A Poem by The Raven King
"

a love poem assignment for poetry class

"

I think you’re the devil.

 

You have devil smiles

like you just got serenaded by a gaggle of naked

pagans or someone in a robe just splattered ram’s

 

blood on your alter.

Your canines are much too big

like a harpers fingers ready

to pluck music from a naked neck.

 

When you laugh you press your stilettos into the throats

of decency and deco-rum and coke

lines around the bodies of your victim-lover-toys.

You have Step up Step up, boys and girls! hips

and I dare you eyes.

 

All your arguments are three sided and

I will sine and cosine on any line you design

So opposed to anything right you are

Hypotenuse around my neck.  Opium lead pipe kisses and

sin injected fingertips steal my will and make me redefine god

is love.

 

I think you’re the devil.

© 2011 The Raven King


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Reviews

like a harpers fingers ready
to pluck music from a naked neck.

All your arguments are three sided and
I will sine and cosine on any line you design

Hypotenuse around my neck. Opium lead pipe kisses and
sin injected fingertips steal my will and make me redefine god
is love.

this reads like a brand new piece. Seems like your strength is in the complex hip hop style rhyme scheme that almost get lost in the piece. That last line "redefine god is love" is where I'd cut it. If spoken properly its pure fire.




Posted 13 Years Ago


I really like the formatting of words in this write. Very well written

Posted 13 Years Ago


You loathe her but addicted to her at the same time. Sounds like a strong attraction. Interesting write.

Posted 13 Years Ago


This is very lyrical. The line : like a harpers fingers ready
to pluck music from a naked neck. < is super visual!
These types of ladies do exist and are most definitely like the devil.

Posted 13 Years Ago


I believe the correct term for a group of naked Pagans is a "hellabaloo" not gaggle! Also

A group of muses = an inspirado
a group of succubus's = an unfortunate.

this love poem was well plotted, and you did a great job of displaying the narrators intent to please his love no matter if he/she actually repels him a bit. I think we've all been there before!

Posted 13 Years Ago



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Added on October 29, 2010
Last Updated on July 17, 2011

Author

The Raven King
The Raven King

AZ



About
"Call me vain and proud, the greatest sinner ever to walk God's earth, but Satan's boy I could never be. I haven't the humility." -Urbain Grandier, The Devils of Loudon I am older than I look by a.. more..

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A Poem by The Raven King



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