The Melancholy at Work

see title

 

Black bile runs too heavy

In the veins stretched across my arms

So easily cut

Let the thick blood

Run

 

Reviews

[Raja]

Just awesome! I can feel the temptation inside.

Thank you.

Raja

[Legion]

A cleansing so to speak. Let it out, but don't let it loose. Damn fine piece.

[Krishna]

It might be a good idea to continue this theme of melancholy? I'd be interested to hear what you have to say about it. This seems more like a fragment to me. Personally the whole 'cutting' phenomena seems very bizarre to me, but maybe feeling something is at the root of it.

[Olivera]

I totaly understand you. Good poem, almost haiku...

[An owl on the moon]

Melancholy? Quite! Deep and reflective, with the haunting revelation that we are all too easily cut and our life hangs on a much too thin thread...

[Damian Alan Gray]

Why do people always seem to complain, or alude to the idea that something is wrong with it, if a poem is short? If the emotion is poured into twenty stanzas, or two, or even one, what difference does this make? Haiku is short, yet I never hear anmyone complaining about that. Anyway, I loved this poem. It represented the angst that I think many people feel, so it is easily relatable. Nice write!

[Creepy Swine Guy]

I found myself a bit confused by the use of "bile". I assumed that it had some significance, thinking that you'd have used "fluid". I was hung up on why you used the term because I was thinking of bile as the fluid produced by the pancreas. Then I looked it up and I saw that bile was also used as a synonym for "hate". That was a moment of dawning.

I understud much more clearly then and it made sense and resonated with me.

[Ed Rector]

words that express vividly and understaniblly

[w. r.]

Why do all teenagers write about cutting themselves? When I was growing up, teenagers didn't cut themselves�they threw temper-tantrums, I think�

[Nephil]

I like the imagery. Bile in place of blood evokes a much more creative image. It's... short of course, but that's a given. Let this be my first review that is longer than the piece I am reviewing.

-Lain/Ian/Crovax, Ascendant Evincar