Restoration - Part I (easily broken)

the seam imperatively breeched,

impossibly predicting your touch.

even the most inanimate and such

find themselves dislodged and impeached ,

surprised and between your teeth.

how do you mastermind as much

without the modesty of a blush?

are you frozen solid or evil underneath?

your ghostless soul does not know eternity.

infinity only exists between your words.

you are noxious when your grip begirds,

and all things are easily broken when you breathe.

why do you shudder as if this truth is absurd?

remove you parasite! from the depths of me...

Author's Note

Petrarchan
Octet: a b b a a b b a
Sestet: c d d c d c

Constructive criticism is welcomed and appreciated.

Reviews

[Kathy Van Kurin]

'Restoration-Part 1 (easily broken)
m.s.early,
The flow and beautiful measured lines bring intensity to your above writing. I cannot know exactly what has brought the feelings to this place. It seems as if you are speaking out of a struggle to stay above inner collapse or great depression or sadness. This felt to me like a very brave effort to address what needs to be analyzed and fixed. If possible. Sometimes inner work, is truly work! I was impressed with the courage of facing a hard reality. Wonderful Work!
Blessings,
Kathy

[Gypsy Warrior Queen]

When I was but a princess... I thought I needed this kinda control over man....but as I blossomed into the queen I am today I realized that in order for a man to be a king...he must be treated and respected as one...dark angels sometimes just need more love. Way to let it go X...from the anger ..to the words ...and out to let light in...Maybe your a maker of Queens:)

[justjenn_2u]

Some things cover up what another is through appearance. Something hard to swallow nor fathom. Most intelligent people don't even know their very own mind strength and come across with no conscious. Many times, a person can become numb and that is a protection mechanism. Due to not "feeling" this person could lose or win. While it's easy and believe one has another figured out, the presumption may not be absolute. Waters run deep. If it can't be fathomed, yes, walk away.

I love this piece because you pull of the Octet and Sestet with such raw words of honesty. I would change the last line to be a little more flowing. Remove your very parasite, no lurking in me. Just an idea.

[Rachelle]

We have a lot of them in my country - relations who eternally seek monetary support especially from ones who live and work abroad but then, we are Third World where opportunities are scarce and so, though resentful and exhausted, we keep on giving....

[Mockingbird]

brings to mind being in the grip of an all-consuming sickness for which there is no defense. but to recognize it for what it is, gives you some power over it and makes it a little bearable.

[m.s.early]

(: thank you. well put. :)

[m.s.early]

(: thank you. well put. :)

[Lyn Anderson]

I think this is a superb write. I don't know why, but I don't think ghostless requires a hyphen, even tho the damned squiggly red line commands it. Also, last line would be more stark and dramatic without the ! in my opinion, but get others, for sure.

[m.s.early]

The hyphen is noticeably out of place and was forced by that damn squiggly line lol.
Your critique is appreciated as usual :)

[Jack...]

Holy Crap, it sounds like something wicked this way comes and won't leave me the hell alone. X, getting kind of dark in here my friend...I may need a flashlight to see around in your poetry before long. :)

Very cool my friend, deep, dark and done to prefection.

[m.s.early]

Thanks Jack. Parts of my history contains a struggle. To use the term "from demons" is cliche' but accurate nevertheless. But not to worry, there's a flash light in the next poem. Perhaps this should be "Part I"

[Frieda P]

Wow, cutting and abrasive, is this a woman parasite of which you speak, nah, we're all lovable and adorable, couldn't be! Why don't you tell us how you really feel xavier, don't hold back hon!

[m.s.early]

Oh you girls do want all the attention sometimes lol... but alas, this that black angel on conscious shoulder.

[Frieda P]

Haha and you love it...ahh, the black angel, must be male so ;-)

[Sami Khalil]

Some things are fragile and easily can break if we are not careful. I'm glad you wrote this poem to break things down for us in a truth...:)............

[m.s.early]

(: thank you sanity :)

[Sami Khalil]

Hahaha...I like that dear poet...Take care...:)...................

[m.s.early]

although Freudian, it was truthfully an auto-type error from my phone... appropriate though, huh? Thanks Sami :)

[Sami Khalil]

Yep. You are right...:).................

[Sami Khalil]

That will be a good title for a poem...:)...................

[m.s.early]

Good idea Sami! Look for it :)

[Sami Khalil]

:)...........................