A love never Born

This was written about a girl who I liked so much but she never gave me a chance. This girl was like a cancer on my life. She knew how much I liked her and just never bothered with it. Hope you enjoy

It pains me so seeing her go 

through all she does. 

When there is  guy like me 

out there like me.

I can see the pain in her eyes

every time I look in them. 

All she has to do is forget them

all of those bad people who hurt. 

And see that I loved her all along. 

I can take her world of pain 

and turn it to everything but that. 

I know I will never have her. 

So I sit here and remain quiet

as I bask in her beauty. 

Its a creepy feeling knowing that

the one you love will never be mine. 

She continue to takes it all in 

when she can end the pain. 

All I ask is that she realize 

how much I love her. 

Reviews

[Stan Lee]

Ha. been there, done that, bought that t-shirt. This poem brings back memories for me. At the time you think you'll never get over the rejection, and in a way you never really do. It's all part of the journey though I guess. I found the "creepy feeling" was an interesting way of putting it.
Maybe she just couldn't forget all the people that had hurt her... who knows.
Anyhow, it's well done. Great poem. :)

[Luuucy]

I feel like, in a sense, I have been the girl in this story without even meaning to be... makes me emotional to read it from the other side. Great writing

[ANTO]

We do so often appear (or not as the case may be) to be invisible, to those we love with our all because their focus in on another - an ex, an unrequited love of their own, a partner who mistreats them and so it is with Life and Love. It's never fair.
Your feelings of helplessness and the injustice of it all are well conveyed here - sincerely.

I thought you might like to look at these lines again -
"Its a creepy feeling knowing that
the one you love will never be mine. " - the ambiguity of the second lessens the impact - does the word 'you' apply generally if so maybe the final word should be 'yours'. Or make it personal perhaps, e.g. 'the one I love will never be mine.'
And the choice of the phrase 'Its (It's) a creepy feeling' lets this write down I feel. I would say it's downright devastating having that knowledge.

All in all though this is a very painful piece well penned.

[Curtis.Lenker]

Thank you. I will sit down and revisit those lines at some point today. This is an older work of mine. I appreciate you kind words and appreciate you taking the time to read and comment.

[Alucard6336]

Unrequited love was Lancelot of the lake's curse.

I bet your a wonderful guy, you just got to get out there and talk to them, or maybe her. In this day women want the sensitive type. And I can tell you are emotionally strong. You just have to look deep within yourself.

[Curtis.Lenker]

I wrote this years ago.

[V]

Onesided or unreturned love can be really cruel but has to be endured for a while and one has to get over it. It's nice that you mention "so I sit there and remain quiet", not trying to be offensive but I almost feel like I have to scold you for "asking her to realize". This is something like a misunderstanding. Sounds blunt but some people are just not that into you - you cannot force them into loving or even liking you and by even asking someone to realize how much they are loved/liked/desired, one indirectly tries to do so. And thinking you might be better or even best to love her is egoistic though love makes/is selfish.
I hope my thoughts are at least slightly understable.
Though I do feel empathy with this kind of messy state of mind. Other than that, you seemed to manage to put a lot of emotions into it. It's easy to read and understand which makes it accessible for a great variety of people which is good.

[Ellen Kolman]

Love the line 'bask in her beauty' ........ wonderful poem ....... great write....love the emotion

[Mistaken Angel]

WOW! This poem is so full of emotion, its beautiful! It's so nice to see that there's still people out there with true feeling's. It's sad how in this day and age everything is formed on a lie.. it's becoming hard to differentiate between the two. But this poem is amazing, and to be honest reading this made my day! I really hope to see more, thank-you for sharing.
~Tealah.

[Curtis.Lenker]

Your very welcome. It was a bad romance on my end. Thank you for you kind words about my work I really appreciate the review. You will defiantly going to see more.

[Mistaken Angel]

I'm looking forwards to reading them. (:

[Curtis.Lenker]

Thank you. It means a lot that you want to read my poetry.

[Mistaken Angel]

You're very talented, and your poetry has so much meaning. Its really heart touching, you should be proud of yourself!

[Curtis.Lenker]

I am proud of myself. Thank you my poetry is very important to me.