Hysteria; A Tale of Desperation

 

I’ll probably close my eyes, if you’re asking for the truth.

You see, these lies have burned, licked the very pink on the inner flesh of some organ unnamed.

God can tell me what this means

When I meet him there, my feet hot.

Tell me-tell me-tell me

What the f**k I’m doing here

I’ve burned the black away, burned the picture on my wall

Burned the black away,

Burned the black away.

Laugh at me, laugh at me:

It’s still there, dark and mighty,

Night leaves it there

Night lets it linger

Night lets the smoke arise

Because when I’m hidden in the dark

Oh, Jesus, forgive me.

 

It’s some strange suffering, I’ll say.

And this I’ll see a day and a day, another day added

To today.

 

Hmm… the smoke, the smoke, the substance

Still rises in the night.

It’s pale against the night

The night

The night that lets it linger.

Laugh, laugh at me.

I myself laugh, will laugh… do laugh

I’m laughing!!

 

Someone bring the anti-pill pill for me.

Leave it behind the white pillars at my door.

I’m waiting there with a bottle of capsules

The size of your fist.

I’ll smile at you crookedly,

Smoke in my teeth.

Laugh at me, laugh at me.

I’m f*****g laughing as we speak.

I’m f*****g laughing!!

Bring the anti-substance papers to my door.

Let them speak of death and duty,

Stomach pumps and hospital beds.

Put them under the filthy welcome-mat

Right next to the blossoming-

Blossoming-

Blossoming plant.

I’ll be sitting there with a toothy grin,

A syringe in my hand.

You can laugh at me when I tell you that it’s only temporary.

Take a closer look at that plant.

 

If it’s a weekday, I’ll be at the window,

The one with Antichrist Superstar blasting from a dusty computer.

I’ll tell you that I embrace the idea of God.

I won’t be lying.

Still the music drags with something intrepid

Swirling into fearful ears.

That’s me, hugely grinning down at you with sad,

Dilated

Eyes.

You may laugh.

Reviews

[Larissa G.]

As always I adore the images and the formation. However, this time I had a more difficult time interpreting the meaning.
I see one person loves to bully their limited views onto others and for that I apologize. Not understanding immediately doesn't mean badly written.
I must add parts of it reminded me of Ray Bradbury novels.

[J.P.O.et]

Sunshine Laser is an ******* with no depth/vision and obviously has never dealt with
any inner turmoil or the substances/nuances associated with coping.
One particular part struck me,
'You can laugh at me when I tell you it's only temporary
Take a closer look at that plant'
I personally read that and saw myself convincing others that I'm 'normal' yet trying to
focus their attention on something else. This is something that most would not understand
or have the ability to grasp, much like your style.
'I'll probably close my eyes, if you're asking for the truth'
I like that and it is so real and.......ummm true.
I like this one alot but can see how some may not get your intent here, alas I of
many imperfections see this one all too clearly.
I'll be grinning at you with the smoke in my teeth, well done.

J.P.O.et

[SunshineLaser]

Guess what happened when I read your poem. I'll tell you, I read to "Oh, Jesus forgive me," and then I decided you are a bad writer and wrote this comment.

[Mr Whiskers]

The title does this piece justice, for sure! I can see your grin and smell the smoke...I can see the night and hear the laugh (of the insanity and clarity of the desparate).....I also happen to be a fan the Antichrist Superstar album, so theres that. The truth must suck if that is what led you here, to these words. But then the truth often does that.
Anyway, I really like this piece!!!

[Rain]

It's hard for me to grasp exactly what your intent is here. Which is not a problem, I often write pieces that are written strictly for me. I can feel the desperation. This, for me, is an angry piece. I have a very simple way to review. I read a piece...if I feel anything after I read it, it has worth, even if I don't get the writer's full intent. You made me feel your desperation. Rain..

[Broken.]

Oh my f*****g god I'm laughing!!
Lol. jk.
This was amazing as all of your works dearest Vanessa.
But this, truely insane side of your mind could be something I crave.