I Wanted

i tries extensively to throw in some rebelion here. truely.... it was effortless

 

I wanted to breathe with my melody.

And so I fucked an authority with a kickass riff and a few cigarettes.

 

I felt the need to paint with emotions.

And so I ripped open a vein and I bled out.

 

I wanted to belong to something, to be earnest in my existence.

And so the wind screamed for me and my drug, howling when smoke flew about.

 

I want to f*****g do something

Be spontaneous,

Follow the rules of my mind’s own lack of rule

And then to die

Alone in an ocean of warm white sand.

Alone

In an ocean of light blue sorrow

Retching the taste of my morning.

 

I want to leave my place here on earth

And to find my own morning

With rings of clouded sunlit smoldering bits

That would dance and would bend with the groove of a wavering melody

That was the birds.

 

I have an urge to be

To see

And to knee the subsistence of human

Square in the wide open hole

That is a lack of understanding,

Purely

Lack of understanding.

 

I wanted to see the way that the world would spin

Will spin

With the absence of waste.

Reviews

[Eagle Cruagh]

My apologies.

I completely misunderstood the meaning behind your
poem.
I never give bad reviews. I gave you a bad review because
I did not read you thoroughly.

Please accept my apologies.

'This rated 100 %

-----Eagle Cruagh

[Child]

wow, this is realy goo 100 PERCENT !

[J.P.O.et]

Simply WOW, you speak to me here with this one. You know how i feel about your unique style and it just shines through here to those that are open to your message. The first verse is great but then,

'I felt the need to paint with emotions.
And so I ripped open a vein and I bled out.'

That is just amazing with the metaphor of painting while using your own blood as the medium and all the feelings/emotions that lie therein. Those lines alone are pretty incredible.
The idea of leaving this place here on earth and once again i felt a definite signifigance as to your use of morning being somehow interchangeable with mourning as I believe you have expressed in previous work.
I love the 'urge to be...To see ...And to knee 'the 'lack of understanding' that is so pervasive in society.
Totally off subject but Venus is the only planet that spins counterclockwise of the rest, such a strange thing the universe is and yet this write made me think of that.
"With the absence of waste'
What a simple idea yet you give me hope for the future with your ideas and knowledge beyond your years.
Keep writing and I will keep reading, you are one of a kind.

J.P.O.et

[Broken.]

Wow omg love this.

"I have an urge to be
To see And to knee the subsistence of human
Square in the wide open hole
That is a lack of understanding,
Purely
Lack of understanding"

I love that line best. one of the many reasons why I love you for the amazing anguish that your mind cooks up and when it boils over the top, its not considered a mess but a pretty little smack of reality and our ways of living and dealing with it.

[Larissa G.]

As always, I find your words to be utterly stunning.
I can say that while I personally liked it, I feel as if the image of the sky and the harmony of the birds is potentially cliche because it's a common image used by many.
However - it's a gorgeous poem.
:)