Keep, and keep revising!
I love the music in this poem, but it gets a little overwrought in some places (lots of the same language used over and over: cold, bleak, pain, agony, etc.). Great music, great rhythm, but perhaps a little bit long. I think pruning this poem (no pun intended) by a few lines, or even a few stanzas, will actually strengthen it and give it more punch, more impact. Like roses, some excellent poetry need to be cut back to their very roots to flourish the best :)
When I first saw the title, I was a little hesitant, the rose an all too often hackneyed form of imagery, but I actually enjoyed this, although it feels a little wordy.
This is as beautiful as the title suggests.. I was completely engaged into the atmosphere and mood of a blood red rose. It all flows effortlessly like wine to intoxicate the senses. Love it!
Gnostic romanticism, ardent soul feeling trapped in form, the latter too informed by numbing "normalities."
Pisces knows better than any other sign the necessity for soul sanctuary. Your hothouse blood red rose soul does not have to die with physicality to be set free.
The mystic injunction to "die before you die" seems resonant though. The profound paradox of "this is the other world" can only be known via transformation love and contemplation.
I posit a red rose of the heart, blue rose of the visionary mind, and black rose of fierce desire as resurrectional impetus in the realm of consensus zombification.
Death of mediated plastic flowers leaves the body breathing reborn.
Your style reminds me of Emily Dickenson. Love the use of the old language, ie "thee". Seems like a lover you want to protect but have to let go...pain in beauty, like the rose :) very, very beautiful. Love it!
Keep, and keep revising!
I love the music in this poem, but it gets a little overwrought in some places (lots of the same language used over and over: cold, bleak, pain, agony, etc.). Great music, great rhythm, but perhaps a little bit long. I think pruning this poem (no pun intended) by a few lines, or even a few stanzas, will actually strengthen it and give it more punch, more impact. Like roses, some excellent poetry need to be cut back to their very roots to flourish the best :)
Im 25 and have been writing poetry since I could rhyme. I've had one poem published when I was 8 and that was pretty much it.
I wrote my sorrow on paper and when I tried to turn my life around I.. more..