Chapter 11

      “Are you alright?” said a voice, almost echoing. “You look…” The words faded.

Lizzy felt as though she was being moved back and forth slowly: as if on a rocking steamboat. Though, it was not calming. In fact, the rocking had the opposite effect on her. She felt sick. Confused. Angry. Her head felt like it had been replaced with blocks of lead.

I have to calm down. I need to feel better. Lizzy inhaled, and then let it all out in one breath. She felt better now. A lot better. Then…

          “Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Bee�"“ Lizzy smacked her hand down on the snooze button on her annoyingly loud alarm clock. It’s screeching knocked her right out of the twilight zone she was in. The obnoxious noise echoed in her head for about three minutes until she got up and took a deep breath again.

          She sat up in her messed up sheets and quilt. Her eyes darted around the room…wondering whose voice that was. It couldn’t have been real…it was just me.

          Then she remembered.

The dancing. The laughing…the phone call. Mia. I love you…

          Lizzy felt angry all over again. It look all of her might and strength not to cry right there on the spot. She felt… abandoned. Empty. Deserted on an island from which she could not escape.

          Lizzy picked her alarm clock. She decided to turn it off, since she knew that it would go off again because she just hit “snooze”. Then she looked at the time. 8:34 a.m.  She was supposed to go water Sylvia’s asters somewhere around nine, so she knew she needed to get ready and go.

          Lizzy, even though feeling lethargic and sick, pulled herself out of bed and looked in the mirror in her bedroom. Her hair was flat… curly, but flat. Her mascara was smeared around the edges of her face, and shadows were heavy underneath her eyes.

          Lizzy then took out her face lotion, her make up remover, and her hairbrush. Five minutes later, after much “freshening exfoliating” (as the bottle of lotion stated in an extremely ostentatious manner) she looked presentable, and decided it was safe to leave the room without looking like a demented banshee.         

Lizzy moved to the bathroom to brush her teeth at the pace of ketchup leaving one of those glass bottles. She had neglected the bi-daily task last night due to the fact she was almost too upset to remember.

          Soon, Lizzy came back into her room and decided to get dressed. She didn’t want to leave any trace of her appearance looking absolutely squashed and heartbroken when she saw Braden. So, she picked out a flowing, light, and breezy white shirt. It was one of her favorites. It reminded her of fresh, crisp summer days back in New Hampshire when she went out and played in her Grandpa’s woods… just by herself. She always wore these certain jeans, too. They were light colored; like the sky. She rolled them up, for a unique touch. And, finally, she threw her hair up in a loose bun…the way she always wore it on weekends.

          Lizzy stepped out of her room for the first time feeling awake that morning. She saw no one, but she heard someone moving around downstairs…she was anxious to know who it was, so she leapt down the stairs, trying to get herself in a peppy mood.

          Lizzy got to the bottom of the stairs and crossed into the kitchen, where she would get breakfast. She smelled the warming aroma of morning coffee and vanilla as she inhaled deeply. It calmed her.

          The only person she saw was Jerry. He was sitting on one of the island stools, reading the newspaper, sipping on piping hot coffee. He looked very distinguished, although, the style fit for a dad like him.

          “Good Morning,” Lizzy tried to get out. It sounded more like a croak, so she tried again.

          Jerry looked up from his newspaper. “Oh, good morning, Lizzy. I’m glad someone is up. How did things go last night?” Jerry said, as he folded up his newspaper and set it aside.

          Lizzy knew she would have to lie in order to say the answer Jerry wanted to hear. “Good,” she said. “It went well.”

          He grinned. “I understand you went to bed on the early side, around seven thirty?” Jerry said, sounding a little concerned, but caring. 

          Lizzy tried not to stare at him in surprise. She didn’t know she went to bed that early. Finally, she decided to say something, even though she didn’t know what to say. “Oh, yeah, I guess I did.” Lizzy looked down toward the floor.

          “Are you feeling well? Braden said you felt a little fatigued.” Jerry said, taking a sip of his coffee.

          Lizzy felt embarrassed now. She hated to sound prissy, or even weak, but she knew that by Jerry’s expression he believed that Lizzy wasn’t feeling okay, which was somewhat true, but not in the way he was thinking.

          Lizzy paused. “Uh, yeah, I am, actually. I felt a little…off…last night, that’s all. But I’m fine now.” Lizzy said. She knew she sounded overly frank, so she decided to soften up her sentence a little. “Thank you for asking.”

          Jerry nodded and picked up his newspaper again. And with that, Lizzy walked over to refrigerator, got out the milk, and took the cranberry-almond flake cereal out of the cupboard. Likewise, she poured the milk out, and watched it splash onto the almond slivers.

          She sighed.

          “Could I use that, when you’re finished?” asked a voice.

          Lizzy whipped around, only to see the person she really wanted to see least: Braden.

          “Sure.” Lizzy said dully. Or, as dully as she could without sounding obviously depressed. She passed the milk to Braden.

          “Thank you,” he said. He sounded like typical Braden. He looked like ordinary Braden, too. His expression was pleasant, and there was not a trace of abnormality in it. And for some reason, that made Lizzy upset. She almost felt betrayed by his nice, kind face that seemed free of all sadness, while she felt as though she was weighed down with an anchor…like she was a slave to irritation and quandary. Nonetheless, she took a seat next to Jerry, where she would try to avoid Braden’s face.

          Lizzy ate her cereal, hoping Braden would speak…she wanted to show how hurt she was… and how much he hurt her…but he was oblivious.

          Jerry, clearly, finished reading his newspaper as he folded it in half and placed it on the table.

          “Well, I need to get going now. I told your mother I would be there for their presentation. I’ve already told Gwen.” Jerry said.

          Lizzy panicked. Get going?  She thought.

          “What time will you be back, dad?” Braden said.

          “Oh, maybe around three. Colette sort of had me ‘volunteer’ for cleanup. It is also important to your mother that I watch the bearing of the flowers ceremony…and all of that.” Jerry said, as he got his keys. “So I’ll see you around three. Alright?”

          “Okay, dad.” said Braden. “Bye!”

          “Bye,” Lizzy said.

          “Oh,” Jerry said as turned his heel. “There’s lunch in the refrigerator, your mother told me. Oh, and Lizzy, you can use Gwen’s bike to ride over to the flower shop if you want.”

          “Thank you,” Lizzy said.  

Jerry left out the door, and that was when Lizzy started eating her breakfast all the more quickly. She wanted to get out of Braden’s sight as fast as she could. She hastily ate the last four bites of her cereal.

          “Cor blimey, what’s the hurry?” Braden said as Lizzy hopped up from her chair to rinse out her bowl.

          “Oh,” Lizzy said. “I might be late to water the asters. Sylvia said to be there around nine. And it’s already�"“

          Braden chuckled. “Lizzy, it’s only eight-forty-four. I don’t think mum’s asters will spark up in an angry mob if you’re there a little late.” Braden said, almost laughing. “It’s okay.”

          “Well, I need some time to get there, too.” Lizzy said, now standing in the doorway of the kitchen.

          But Braden protested. “It’s just down town. It only takes like, ten minutes. Probably less if you’re on Gwen’s ten speed.”

          Lizzy sighed, trying to sound annoyed. “Yeah, well, I’m just going to go now, okay?” She said, not caring if she had an attitude.

          Braden looked surprised, and a little offended. “…Alright then.” He said.

          Lizzy walked out of the kitchen, trying to hold her head high. She felt bad for being so mean to him, though. Some part of her said he deserved it…leading her on like that. Then Braden’s voice came in again.

          “Are you sure you’re going to be okay?” Braden semi-shouted out of the kitchen.

          Lizzy was a little shocked. She hated him for being so nice to her, but liked him even more for it too. She was being pulled in two different directions, and she had to choose the way to feel, before she snapped.

          She needed to decide. Like Braden? Resent him? Ignore him? She knew which would be easiest. She knew which one she wanted. Too bad they weren’t the same option.

          “Why don’t you come with me?” Lizzy heard someone say. It took her a moment to process the fact that it was she herself that said it.

          “…Sure…” Braden said, his voice a mixture of surprise and happiness. “Let me get dressed.”

          Lizzy smiled to herself as she heard him leap up from his seat. He passed right in front of her on his way up the steps.

          “I’ll be right back.” He said. Lizzy sat, satisfied, in one of the swirl-patterned couches. She knew she had to use every chance she got to get him to forget about this Mia person.

~

         

“You’ve been down town before right? Like, not in a car?” Braden asked as they were both gliding past houses out of Foxglove Avenue.

          “Once.” Shouted Lizzy above the wind that was acting as an unwanted warp of their sentences. “I came down to the Tea Leaf with Anna Chen last Thursday.”

          “Oh, Gwen’s been wanted to go there.” Said Braden. “It is nice? It was just added in early August.”

          Lizzy nodded, but then remembered he couldn’t see it, considering they were riding bikes. “Yes, actually. It’s really spacious, and all of their flavors are really unique.” Lizzy said.

          “Which one did you try?” asked Braden.

          “Pomegranate-Cranberry.” Lizzy replied. “Anna tried the vanilla-blueberry.”

          “Cool.” Said Braden. “I wouldn’t want to look like a pansy, walking in there alone, so maybe we could go sometime.” Braden said.

          Lizzy smiled inwardly at his invitation.

          As they rode their ten-speeds down the curve that would lead them to Main Street, Lizzy took a deep breath from the warm September air and realized she felt a little guilty…and she definitely knew why.

          Soon, the two came upon L’Arome, the second store down on the left side of Oxford’s Main Street. They parked their bikes in the semi-rustic bike slots that were beside the door of the flower shop.

          “Ding!” sounded the bell as Braden pushed it open for Lizzy. He came in straight after her.

          As Lizzy walked in to the store, she noticed a large, galvanized watering can sitting on the front register, with a lime green post-it note attached to it.

          Lizzy, -it said- here is the watering can I would like you to use on the asters. Would you mind watering the daisies and petunias also? They may be a tad dry. Thank you dear, and have a fantastic day!

-         Sylvia

 

“Oh, that’s just a note from my mom, right?” Braden asked as Lizzy finished reading it.

“Mmm-hmm.” Lizzy replied as she lifted the weighty watering can off of the counter.

“’Kay.” Braden said. “Do you want me to carry that for you? It looks kind of heavy.” Braden said, already taking it off of Lizzy’s hands.

“Oh, thank you,” Lizzy said, hoping she wouldn’t be the slug trailing behind as he did all of the work. “I’ll water the flowers when we get there.”

“Alright.” Braden said, carrying the watering can without so much as a struggle.

Lizzy endured the silence as the paced through the aisles of misted flowers. She wanted to say something, but nothing came to mind. Why are things always SO difficult whenever we’re alone? Lizzy wondered. She stared at his expression�"his carefree expression. Lizzy knew this awkward quietness had no effect on him whatsoever. He just took it as “well, there’s nothing to talk about…so I’ll just clear my mind of all things and stare blankly into space”. That particular face bothered Lizzy to a great extent. She had seen it before, but for some reason it made her more agitated after the whole “Mia” incident. Ha, she thought. He probably thinks nothing of it. He doesn’t even think of it as an “incident”. Lizzy scoffed inside of her mind. She found herself resenting him again�"the feeling that had come over her in the morning seemed to cover her in jealousy, envy, and exasperation. Suddenly, she knew it was there and she still hadn’t solved her problem. She was a zealot with anger when it came to disappointments. She just couldn’t get rid of it without speaking her mind, or letting it filter out�"which would definitely not work in this case. Before she knew it, Braden was staring at her. Not the kind of stare that makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, but the stare that made you want to throw a rock at the person who was looking at you. Even though this particular intended look seemed caring, Lizzy felt as if he were mocking her. Suddenly, she knew what she needed to say to let it all out.

“Who is Mia?” She asked as they finally got to the asters. She knew that, after she had asked the question, she sounded extremely agitated and fuming mad.

Braden set the watering can. “Wow,” he said, sounding offended once again. “You make it sound like she’s a demon or something.”

“Who is she, though?” Lizzy found herself persisting with extreme firmness, barely listening to her conscience that said: you are completely making a fool of yourself right now!

“Um, she’s a girl at school…we’re sort of together... but not really, I mean, we sort of dated last year, but things are sort of…I mean…” Braden looked around, uncomfortable.

Lizzy, for some reason, felt strangely, but not genuinely, happy at his nervousness. He knew how she felt now.

Braden started speaking again. “Why do you want to know? I mean, why are you asking? Did anyone tell you I was going to break it off with her?” Braden said, jumping to his own defense.

Lizzy sighed, annoyed. “No.” She mumbled, as she looked at the floor, bitter.

“Then what is it?” Braden exclaimed, as he looked at Lizzy in extreme puzzlement. “What’s the big deal?”

Lizzy realized she had gotten herself into a trap she could not get out of without: a., getting herself into an even bigger mess, or b., telling the truth. She had no idea which to choose, for her conscience had left her for the time being: she kicked out of her brain…she didn’t want to listen to it before.

“I just…” Lizzy was still deciding what to say before Braden though she was a complete lunatic. “I…” Lizzy trailed off, angry with herself now for letting her jealously and desires get a hold of her.

Finally, Lizzy raised her head to look at Braden. His expression was full of reaction now. His crystal-like blue and green eyes did not glimmer with glee and playfulness as the usually did---in fact, they slightly murmured out shock, confusion, hurting, and perplexity. Lizzy felt ashamed for all that she had said…in fact, she wished she wouldn’t have unloaded it all out on Braden…She realized that lust and envy, especially in a plotting manner was not the way to go. She felt as if she didn’t even deserve him now. 

“What are you talking about?” Braden said, now not in a harsh voice, but a caring, soft voice, as he inched closer to her, trying to get what she was keeping inside, out.

Lizzy felt shot through the heart. She was being so…awful and malicious, yet he softened up for her. She looked down again at the floor. Then she lifted one eye up to him to see if he was still patiently waiting, and he was. Then she lowered it again. She knew she had to say something soon.

“I don’t know what to say,” Lizzy said. “I’ve made it so hard to talk now…just, never mind.” She slightly turned away.

Braden took a step closer to her. “No, please say it. Is it about Mia? Because if it is, you don’t need to worry. She just hasn’t gotten over “us” yet…I mean�"is it that?”

Lizzy let silence slip by once again. Then she spoke. “When she said that she loved you, did you say you loved her?” Lizzy’s blue eyes looked directly into his, even though her insides were quivering with nerves.

Braden looked a little taken aback. But he replied nonetheless. “No,” he shook his head. “No…I wouldn’t say that to her. We’re not even…no. I didn’t. No way.” Braden said.

Lizzy could tell that he was speaking the truth. Even so, she still gave him the same expression of curiosity and disbelief.

“Please have trust in me, Lizzy. Mia’s just…and old girlfriend that I still sort of talk to. I don’t want to be a git by ignoring her.” Braden said, coming closer to her, touching her hand slightly.

 “…Okay,” Lizzy peeped. She believed him, but for some reason, she didn’t feel satisfied.

“Lizzy…I couldn’t ask for a better person to replace Bridget for ten months…honestly. I just want you to know that. Don’t ever think that I would ever lie to you. Please don’t.” Braden’s crystal-like aqua eyes looked deeply at Lizzy. “Please,” he murmured.

“I trust you.” Lizzy said quietly.

He continued to look at her with fondness, as she looked at him in the same manner. He still held her hand.

Suddenly, a bell dinged in response to a customer opening up the flower shop door. But this time, a single not did not break apart their gaze.

Nothing could.  

Reviews

[compositionc]

Awwww...
That's so sweet.
I still have hope for them.