Chapter 23

Even though it was still technically winter, the soft, March rain fell softly from the clouds, sliding down the slightly fogged windows of the house.

          Lizzy turned the ninety-fourth page of the book “Of Mice and Men”. Scanning the small, inky words, she intercepted nothing. She cornered the page, and then set it on the side table, next to the brass lamp.

 She just couldn’t read anymore.

For the past two months, being “friends” with Braden was the most awful thing that had ever happened to her. It was even worse than when they had first met; now, above being constantly over-polite, and every moment having an awkward inkling, there were hidden feelings behind every word, smile, thought, and movement. Lizzy resented this new relationship. It wasn’t even a friendship at all if they couldn’t really be themselves.

She lie curled up in a ball on the swirl-patterned couch. Rosie was asleep by her feet; keeping them warm. Lizzy sighed heavily, causing the adorable beagle to stir and look up in confusion.

“It’s okay, pretty girl,” Lizzy said quietly, rubbing behind Rosie’s ears.

The beagle looked at Lizzy lovingly, but then bounced up, trotting away into the kitchen.

Lizzy sighed once again.

Her usual detest toward the awkward “friendship” was coated in a layer of extreme anxiety.

That Friday afternoon, Braden was outside in the backyard with Alejandro and Tim, playing their favorite game of football. Although it was raining, the three of them sloshed around in the mud, playing like any other day.

Lizzy wondered if Braden would ever find out about her and Alejandro. Even though numerous weeks had passed by, the kiss hadn’t been spoken of. A “hi” and such greetings had been exchanged, but…other than that, talking with Alejandro had been minimal.

But that was okay with Lizzy.

She knew that really, according to the unset conditions of pretty much any friendship, Braden shouldn’t care about the kiss with Alejandro now. It was something in the past.

Yet, something still bothered Lizzy about that whole situation. He would have to find out, eventually.

Right?

Lizzy looked almost gloweringly through the slide-glass doors. Braden had just bounced the mud-covered soccer ball off of his mud-covered chest, while Tim stood by and Alejandro kicked the ball in the opposite direction.

She had to laugh; they were all covered in the sloshy, brown dirt. Even though rain splashed from the sky instead of sunlight, this reminded Lizzy of months and months ago when she observed them playing…all while she made lemonade, and pondered dreamily of the possibilities between Braden and her. She remembered later making dinner with Braden, all of the tension hanging in the air…every unsaid word, the flirtatious glances.

At that point she thought everything could only get better from there. Lizzy would have never guessed things would get this complicated.

Suddenly she heard the sliding door whip open. Her eyes flew up instantly in alert.

Lizzy quietly leapt off the couch, taking long strides toward the stairs. She climbed halfway up, then stopped by sitting down on the ninth stair up, out of sight from Braden, Tim, and Alejandro. Fortunately, she could still hear them.

“Don’t chuff, mate,” Tim said to Braden, instigating. “You know that wasn’t a clean sweep off the pitch. If that was an actual match, they would have tossed you out, and you know it.”

Lizzy heard glasses clinking on the table, and being thumped down on the counters.

Braden laughed. “Keep talking, Robbins. Clear that mud out of your eyes, you know you completely bunged the football into the bushes.”

Alejandro spoke up. “Brilliant pass off the chest, though, mate. Then Robbins had to go and nick the ball…” He trailed off.

“Blame me for losing the ruddy thing.” Tim said defensively. “I wasn’t gawking at my girl through the window.”

 Lizzy’s back stiffened. Tim did not just say that. She thought to herself. No way.

 “She’s not my girl,” Braden exclaimed loudly. “Are you barking?” He said aggressively.

Tim chuckled. “I wasn’t talking to you,”

Nerves prickled up Lizzy’s spine.

Tim knew about the kiss with Alejandro.

And there was only one way he could have found out.

There was silence. Only a bit, but it was definitely existent.

“What?” Tim said, after the long pause. “Are you telling me you didn’t know?”

Everything said from them in the next seconds sounded like a large slush of words.

Lizzy felt like she was going to vomit. She tried to calm herself down, telling her conscience that Braden wouldn’t care, that he shouldn’t care…but everything else said otherwise.

Suddenly a large blast of thunder resounded into the atmosphere.

Lizzy bit her lip.

“You’re a git, you know that?” Braden said unevenly. Lizzy heard his chair scratch against the floor, pushed back. “Spiffing.” He said under his breath.

“You didn’t tell him?” Tim asked again, to Alejandro.

“Mate, it’s…you were blowing her off! You didn’t make a move. You weren’t snogging her.”

Braden interjected. “Don’t call me ‘mate’. Piss off.”

 Alejandro laughed, surprised. “I didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Sure.” Braden said. “Of course you didn’t. Lizzy totally came onto you, I bet?” Braden asked sarcastically.

“I was taking her home, and we stopped off at Joaquin’s flat. It meant nothing.” Alejandro defended quickly.

Lizzy felt a small rush of anger in that moment. Sure, it meant nothing to her, but Alejandro saying it out loud made her feel kind of rejected. Don’t be stupid. Lizzy thought to herself. Within a second, she got over it.

“It doesn’t matter? You don’t come onto your best mate’s…” Braden shouted loudly, but then trailed off.

“’Your best mate’s what?” Alejandro asked. “See? She was nothing to you. Don’t go blaming me for your stupid relationship problems.” He said angrily.

“That you only aggravated.” Braden retorted. “I can’t believe this.” He said.

Lizzy couldn’t believe it either. She couldn’t even fathom what was going to happen when she saw Braden.

“I’m out of here,” Alejandro said.

Lizzy heard footsteps approaching the front door. She treaded quickly to the top of the stairs, so he didn’t see her. Quickly, he opened the door, and left.

Silence again.

“Sorry, mate,” Tim said sincerely.

Braden laughed cynically. “Yeah. Whatever. Just tell me next time Vasquez decides to run his hands all over…” He trailed off once again.      “Someone you live with? I think you’re overreacting.” Tim said confidently.

“You don’t get it, Robbins. Lizzy’s not just a replacement of my sister. She’s…” Braden paused, redirecting his sentence. “I snogged her at the lake. That was it. Everything went downhill from there.”

“Mate, you snogged her?” Tim asked, surprised. There was a pause. “I really don’t think Vasquez knew--”

Braden sighed loudly. “I don’t care what the git said. He knew Lizzy wasn’t just some girl.”

Lizzy’s skin buzzed with an odd combination of nerves. She wasn’t just “some girl” to Braden. She was more than that. But the guilt was too overtaking for the fact to make her feel better.  

“You going to talk to her?” Tim asked.

“Dunno.” Braden said. “Just keep Vasquez out of my way and we’ll be apples.”

Tim laughed, trying to lighten the mood. “All right, mate.” He said. “I’m going to get back.” Lizzy heard a pat on the back. “Don’t kill anything.” He said, jokingly.

Braden chuckled bitterly. “Right.” He said.

 Once again, Lizzy heard the door open and shut, just this time, less angrily.

She heard Braden sigh. Not just a sigh. An indignant, betrayed, exasperated, infuriated sigh. And every one of those emotions scared the life out of Lizzy.  

Suddenly, she heard the sliding door open. Rain smacked loudly against the ground, and thunder rumbled deeply. It was then muffled by the closing of the door.

Lizzy had half a mind to run to her room. The other half was split in two…go downstairs, and talk straightforwardly to him? Or act casual, like she hadn’t heard a thing?

Shivers fizzed though her arms. No, I’ve spent enough time lying. She thought to herself.

Lizzy took a courageous step forward, but then took it right back.

She wiped her palms on her jeans, realizing that she had never been so nervous. For anything.

Don’t be a wimp. She told herself. Just go.

Lizzy listened to herself, and walked down the stairs. She sighed as she reached the end of them, apprehensively touching her toes to the floor.

She walked nervously through the living room, afraid to come into view. The cold tile pressed against her bare feet as she stepped into the kitchen,

Then she saw Braden. Outside, the rain poured down on him. He was forcefully kicking his soccer ball around, with no particular aim. Fury covered his usually even-keel face.

Lizzy felt the overwhelming guilt shatter any courage she had left. But somehow she kept going, despite the uninviting atmosphere exuding from the other side of the door.

She moved toward the sliding glass, and tentatively touched the handle to open it. Her hand quivered as a large boom of thunder echoed in the sky, making her all the more hesitant of going outside.

But she wouldn’t let her anxiety get the best of her. Not again.

          She slid open the door, the noise from the rain drowning out the “whoosh”.

          Braden’s back was turned to her.

He was powerfully kicking the soccer ball against a large tree trunk, and then bouncing it back off his shin.

Lizzy stepped outside, almost instantly becoming drenched with rain. Her bare foot stepped on the grass, into inches of deep, muddy water. The coldness of it was unwelcoming, but she kept moving.

Lizzy tiptoed slowly through the waterlogged grass. She was about five feet away from him when he finally turned around.

The soccer ball bounced off the tree, splashing onto the ground.

Braden looked at her, his eyes exuding with hurt…and so many other things.

Lizzy stared at him for a while, unsure of what to say.

Finally, simple words slipped out, between the pitter-patter of the rain.

“I’m sorry,” She said, barely audible through the sound of the splashing droplets.

Braden shook his head, beads of rain falling all over his skin. His expression was rigid.

Her apology meant nothing.

Lizzy let out an involuntary tear. She was thankful that it blended in with the rain that had soaked her. “It was stupid. I don’t know what I was thinking.” She said louder, almost shouting above the occasional thunder claps.

Braden looked at Lizzy in an almost contemptuous way. “I don’t know what you were thinking, either…” He said, irately kicking the soccer ball again.

Lizzy sighed dejectedly. “Alejandro was…he…we kissed. And that was a mistake. But it never happened again. I just was so--”

Braden kicked the ball against the tree with fuming vigor. He turned around, the ball bouncing off into the corner of the yard. “I don’t need to hear the story again!” He yelled heatedly, his face tense.

Lizzy’s eyes widened. She didn’t expect him to be so upset…she genuinely thought Braden was over her.

Braden sighed. “I’m sorry,” He said normally, loosening his expression. But then he looked at her forlornly. “But, my best mate? Be honest with me, Lizzy, does what we have mean anything to you?” He asked, the thunder rumbling once again.

Lizzy felt her eyes well up; everything around her turned into a messy, drizzling blur. But she had to say what she felt. “Yes,” She said loudly. “But what about you? You ignored me! I felt rejected, and…you left me with nothing. What was I supposed to think?” Lizzy asked, tears streaming down her face, along with the cold rain. She was shaking.

          Braden walked closer to her. “I was…trying to figure out things…You weren’t supposed to do anything! Let alone go snogging my best friend!” He retorted.

          Lizzy felt a little anger. “While you just took your time deciding if you wanted me or not?” She said, furrowing her brow.

          Braden shook his head again. “If you think what you did is okay, then you can take back your apology.” He snapped.

           Lizzy felt a prickle of fury climb up her spine. “I’m trying to apologize!” She said defensively. “Why do you keep throwing it back in my face?” She said, tears choking her every syllable.

          Braden stared at her, letting a long pause go by. His expression was firmed with lividity, his eyes piercingly indignant.

          Lizzy looked away. The rain fell hard onto her body, making her feel even more helpless. She felt like everything was fighting against her.

All this time, all she wanted was him. And she had him. For one night, she had him. But she made one mistake, and that made every difference in the world.

          Lizzy wanted to say something. But she knew any word she said would be empty as the next. So she stepped forward; her naked feet splashing into the uneven mixture of dirt and water below her. Trembling, she looked directly at Braden, hoping he would somehow soften and realize that she meant every word.

          “Braden,” Lizzy said, almost inaudibly against the falling sheets of rain. “I am…” She forced the next part out of herself. “Really sorry. I just didn’t know what to do. I had no clue.” Lizzy said, trying to get him to understand where she was coming from.

          He moved closer to her, but then past her. For a moment, Lizzy thought he wasn’t going to respond at all. She turned around, watching him walk up to the door. But then he stopped, looking to her.

          “You did have a clue. But it just so happens that was to go snogging my best mate. And if that is your idea of ‘a clue’, then,” he slid open the door; his expression hardened. “I’m wasting my time.”

          A sharp pang of guilt and shock struck Lizzy as he shut the door.

          The air in her lungs seemed to vanish as she stood planted in the waterlogged grass. Lizzy couldn’t even think to breathe…

            But she knew she deserved it.

          Lizzy let one more tear escape from her eye as the rain softened. She leaned up against a tree, and let the rigid pieces of bark ridge into her back.

          She hated to know that the one and only person that was capable of making her feel like she was the world’s center was now thinking of her as a dishonest, tactless piece of scum.

          A beam of sunlight peered through the thick, towering clouds. Lizzy looked down at a massive puddle, able to see her reflection.

          From that angle, she looked big; towering. The ripples expanded her silhouette even more, like a colossal blob.

          Lizzy let out a bitter sigh. Unlike her gigantic reflection, she couldn’t have felt smaller.

          

Reviews

[Short.Nerd]

YAY they're together :D

[compositionc]

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
THEY'RE TOGETHER? YES. YES. YES.
I will now go dance outside.