Cotton Candy and Gravel

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cotton Candy and Gravel

 

 

I've cheated

My feet thrusting against

The pebbles of the crumpling cliff

Before my heart cries against me

Defying the frosty air

Eyes closed and senses

Peeled and polished

So that I can clearly see

 

I'm falling

And the voices of the downhill ghosts

Beckon yet another unfortunate soul

 

Unfortunate. Maybe

Shaking hands with a Shadow

And swapping the kind, soft grey days

For the luscious spectrum of a utopia he reflected

In the glass frame of my sight

 

I'm falling

Faster than the rain

And more furious

Than the electric blue thunder

 

I'm falling

In my hand I had painfully clutched

A worn out silver eye frame

With a fading blue pupil

The more rapidly I dive down

The colder my fingertips freeze

But the silver eye is melting

And I am beginning to forget

what it once symbolized

 

I'm falling

Now what to believe

Now where to tumble and decease

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It is beautiful for the moment

Despite the anxiety

The serenity of seeing nothing

But fog and grey-sprinkled cream white

The slight rays of the ancient dead sun

Seeping through

Like a cotton candy

That has slipped off

Small baby-skin palms

Smudged by street gravel

And the child's tears

 

I'm falling

My breath evading

Tearing away from me

But my hate

Still trickling in streams

around my forehead

Stitched into a crown of karma

That makes my limbs quiver

Sickens the pit of my stomach

A crown of thorns, needles,

And the flesh I impatiently tore off

Your neck with my bare teeth.

Author's Note

*Image(1): Dream about falling down
*By ~bucz
*Link: http://bucz.deviantart.com/art/Dream-about-falling-down-62582604?q=boost%3Apopular%20falling%20into%20the%20dark&qo=9

*Image(2): Cotton Candy
*By ~Missmidnight666
*Link: http://missmidnight666.deviantart.com/art/Cotton-Candy-128886396?q=boost%3Apopular%20cotton%20candy%20cloud&qo=17

Reviews

[Daydreamer54]

I lked how dramatic this sounded and i like how you sed theqwords i''mn falling al over againb. great write! :)

[Emily Filkins]

i love this, i love the imagry, and the concept, its a great write, good job

[Jonathan De Elvira]

You're right Amanda, this poem is so amazing and I could only review it by rating this as my fav forever lol.

[CharlesMonroe]

This is amazing :O i don't even know what to say about it...you wrote and amazing peice here (:

[Elle M.]

... O.O *Speechless*

[Nothing Personal]

Just brilliant..Amazing work..A top of the heap stuff here..May or not be read and understood literally as it touches other ideas too...Really good work

[Cherrie Palmer]

..Unfortunate. Maybe Shaking hands with a Shadow.. powerfull line you did a good job //Like a cotton candy that has slipped off Small baby-skin palms
Smudged by street gravel And the child's tears ...

[halflives]

Amazing. You do certainly have a way with words. I could picture every moment of it. Excellent work.

[Emunah June.]

I see a lost soul descending to either Hell or committing suicide. Either way, I love how you put something so horrifying with something we all presume as sweet. I think my favourite line would have to be:



I'm falling
Faster than the rain
And more furious
Than the electric blue thunder

That one really spoke to me. Keep being awesome and I can't wait to read more of your work!

[Rikkevi Rue]

surreal yet so alluring...the appeal of your writing draws like the proverbial moth/flame...widely vacillating emotional landscape reveals chasms of fears yet the freedom won by overcoming. Self reflective writing perhaps? No matter, as you work your magic on several levels the web catches readers on different planes...and this reader on several planes. And then that final line wrenches the whole ride on a sharp left hand turn! Delightful chase you lead