DEBATING DIVINE PURPOSE

DEBATING DIVINE PURPOSE

A Parable

　

After evading a persistent predator Ralphie suddenly found himself entangled in a rather embarrassing predicament facing yet another likely enemy. Still, as the ominous figure approached, Ralphie remained undaunted because he considered himself a highly ranked raconteur, a beguiling barrister and a wizard of wit who has always been able to talk himself out of countless precarious situations.

"I’m honored to finally make your acquaintance," he began as the potential tormentor crept closer. "Allowing me to introduce myself, I’m Ralph. Actually Ralph the 45^th. But everyone calls me Ralphie. And you are?"

"Though it is totally irrelevant, my name would be Arturo. To my peers, which excludes you, I am called Art."

"Arturo? Of course. Your reputation precedes you," Ralphie stated while providing his patented faux smile.

"And how is this reputation defined?"

"Certainly by your well known benevolence, Sir."

"A trait I will admit to, with selective reservations," Arturo responded cryptically.

"All true saints are humble," Ralphie replied while laying the flattery on a bit too thick. "But kind deeds do not go unrecognized and just last week word quickly spread throughout the neighborhood that you released poor Maggie from her shackles."

"I would hardly classify that as an act of grace. Would you want to go head to head against a very hungry female praying mantis who has not yet mated?"

"No, I suppose not, but what about you sparing Conrad? Surely that could be construed as - "

"Conrad?" Arturo wondered for a moment. "Oh, you mean that hapless monarch butterfly?"

"One and the same."

"Well, I profess to a profound appreciation of artists and the art they create," Arturo admitted.

"I wasn’t aware Conrad was an artist."

"I doubt seriously if he himself is but that point is moot because he doesn’t have to be. All butterflies, including Conrad, are living works of art, one of nature’s superb breathing canvases.

"Seriously, you believe this?"

"As most observant, receptive people would understand certainly they are. And even more remarkable than their obvious beautification of the world, like bees and hummingbirds, they have their own divine purpose."

"Perhaps butterflies are but are you suggesting that those socially inept bees are living works of art?" Ralphie asked from frustration, soon regretting doing so because it was not his intent to appear overly au contraire to his latest nemesis.

"Not so much on the physical realm, but they, and their fellow collectors, provide the necessity of life through pollination. And on a side note, although more instinctive than intentional, the honey combs bees build are prime examples of pure craftsmanship," Arturo explained earnestly.

"An astute observation," Ralphie countered in growing respect for his captor’s unexpected and fairly impressive articulation, and wishing to appear reasonably amicable, Ralphie added "Yes, with your keen insight I can now comprehend how similar bees and butterflies are."

"Similar in purpose only. Butterflies are unfortunately endowed with minimal mental capacities."

"Likely so, but I have yet to meet a Mensa qualified bumblebee, have you?" Ralphie offered whimsically, hoping such an approach was an effective route to take towards softening his captor’s heart.

"I’ve never known a bee foolish enough to get caught in a spider’s web, have you?" was Arturo’s not so thinly disguised retort. When Ralphie stammered trying to concoct a defense the arthropod Arturo reminded him, "Which brings this conversation back full circle, doesn’t it?"

"Metaphorically, yes," Ralphie suggested as he started to recover from his miscalculations of how just formidable his foe was and decided to try an entirely different ploy. "But because you are a self-professed devout patron of the arts shouldn’t your renowned benevolence be extended towards an accomplished artist such as I?"

"You?"

"Not within the constraints of the visual facade, but certainly through the grand design of nature that commanded, no, that anointed my kith and kin and I to provide a primary service to mankind for eons."

"And such a self- aggrandizing claim is justified how?"

　

"Well, Sir, by the simplistic, yet fully necessary, services we’ve willingly supplied throughout the millenniums," Ralphie answered.

"Unless ashamed or unable to do so perhaps you should elaborate."

"As has been experienced and well documented through the ages we, my esteemed accomplices and I, have been entrusted with the sacred duty to spread diseases far and wide, to filter out the sickly and vulnerable to ensure that the survival of the fittest fulfills Darwin’s hypothesis."

"While basically true, except the ‘sacred’ part, how is what you do art?"

 

"Oh, dear good Sir," Ralphie exclaimed, not fully realizing his unabashedly formidable foe was strengthening the case against him. "By performing human population control. And in doing so we are living art as defined by function. Surely a person with your elevated grasp of purpose comprehends this?"

"Even if I considered such a preposterous rebuttal, obsolete function renders such pleas invalid. Has not mankind been able to do as much far more efficiently over the past centuries, through their wars, forced religious dogmas, greed and abuse of the environment, than you and your collective bearers of inhumane grief have managed to achieve?"

"I, uh, uh - I, uh -" Ralphie stuttered while his once healthy ego quickly diminished.

 

"Calm down a bit, Ralph the 45^th. and focus upon your immediate surroundings, then describe what you aesthetically see and then we’ll compare creative endeavors."

"Assuming you’re requesting an appeasement of the aesthetic virtues of your domain," Ralphie finally replied, treading carefully because he was still trying to maintain a glimmer of hope, "what I see is an intricate, visually stunning architectural marvel unique among nature’s elite."

"Not too shabby for a probable closing statement. But that’s not the point. Although the webs I construct have specific practical functions these are of my own creation and not instinctively rendered. And should this work somehow be destroyed from heavy rain or human contact I will build another, and another if need be, adding my own creative vision of variation because I am an true artist."

"Alright, alright, alright, Michelangelo, you’re an artiste and I’m not. So am I regulated to being a historical relic with no contemporary purpose?"

"Look, Ralph," Arturo replied as he stood within touching distance of the fly, "I am far from being a saint, yet I am hardly a monster. I cherish the gifts I have and strive to use them to their fullest. Still, a body bound soul requires physical nutrients. As to you, you are not without purpose."

 　

"In your mind I’m nothing more than a lower form of appetizer on your food chain, right?" When Arturo nodded yes Ralphie, reluctantly accepting his fate, decided not to give up the ghost without his natural belligerence and shouted, "Eat s**t, you second rate hack of an artist."

"Isn’t that is one of your functions and not mine?"

"You arrogant, pompous, sarcastic prick, I hope you choke to death on me," Ralphie uttered with his last act of defiance.

"Thank you, Ralphie, for revealing your true character at last because I love spicy food."

Ralph the 45^th. lifted his one non-entrapped leg to display an obscene gesture as he closed his multiple eyes for the last time.