ELVIS RETURNS

A Story by Willys Watson

Elvis Returns

An Alien spacecraft landed in the middle of Washington Square in Washington D.C. and almost instantly both the media and the military surrounded it, the media for the breaking news coverage and the military in case this was the beginning of an Alien invasion.

When the Alien exited the spacecraft everyone saw the large eyed, green skinned stereotypical image made popular in science fiction. And they were certainly surprised when it spoke perfect English.

“I have come to this planet and this country to let you know my people have Elvis and are willing to trade him for something we desire more,” the Alien announced in a high-pitched voice.

“But Elvis is dead,” a smart-a*s military General told him.

“Au contraire, Private,” the Alien replied with a grin. “If you bothered to dig up his grave you would see there is no physical body there because we teleported him six Earth years back up to our Star Ship and took him back to our planet. We reanimated him and Elvis went through detox and we injected him with a massive dose of a youth serum and now he looks like and is actually the chronological age of 18.”

“If what you say is true what do you want in return for our national treasure? And you better not say you want any of our military weapons or top secret intelligence information.”

“No, no, no, Sergeant! We simply want the body of one of our fellow citizens from my planet returned to us, The one you keep frozen in ice at your Area 51 complex,” the Alien informed the General.

“You little green guys have been listening to too many conspiracy theorists because that whole thing is a myth.”

Suddenly the very youthful looking Elvis jolted down the spacecraft’s ramp to the amazement of everyone.

“That’s a bullshit lie and you know it, General, so let’s do the swap because I’m so tried of not having junk food to eat back on their planet and I can’t tell the guys from the gals on their planet either,” Elvis scolded him.