My Nemesis

thank you emily.

I believe that I am a part of the few lucky people to have a blessed life. I grew up with my mother and sister in a little house in Escondido knowing that I was loved. I have an amazing family that supports me and friends that always have my back, and I honestly couldn’t ask for more. The only thing I regret is never having the chance to meet my father.

At five months old, Death took the life of my 38 year old dad. When I was eleven, he took my replacement, my 84 year old grandfather. A greedy one Death is, taking life time and time again, but never has he left a gift. But then again that’s not his job, is it? My mother, sister and grandmother are my rocks, and if not for them I wouldn’t be who I am today. Even though they’re my light in a dark path, I will never forgive Death for leaving them hands tied and blindfolded.

I know death is not the happiest subject, but Death is, and always will, be a part of life. Don’t  get me wrong, every time I think of death I think of my father and vice versa. Because of Death, I will never be ‘daddy’s little girl’ and I’ll never get the chance to make memories with him. Most people my age wouldn’t have to go through that pain, and I am resentful for that. He has also left me with a gaping hole in my heart, and that’s not something to smile about either. I do not hate death, for hate is a strong  word, but he isn’t my favorite thing to talk about. Death in many ways has made me see how lucky I am to have a family like I do, and taught me to be thankful.

Okay Death, if you can hear me now I want you to know that I am grateful for you. Although I may not like you, I am grateful. You put things out of their misery and sometimes death is what is needed. For those in agony, death is a relief and welcomed. My grandfather had lived a long and fulfilled life, at a 84 and Death was expected for him. Death wasn’t needed for my  father, but it has made me more equipped for what is to come in the real world. Maybe that’s not what all people wish for, but it’s something that I will always have.

Everyone knows Death is coming, and we cannot escape it, we can only hope for it to come peacefully and as painless as possible.  And in the end, Death will take your life and mine as well. I will walk away with him by my side, maybe even as friends.