A Short Love Story

A short story of romance written by an amateur. It's got one percent of something different with everything else as fluff.

 

          I found a man who made my head spin. I found a man worth investing in. I found a man, worth pouring effort in. I first saw him at the park. I liked going to the park in order to clear my head, relieve myself of stress, and get my writer’s block out of the way. I was deeply thinking about what story I could write originally. As I sat on the park bench, with fresh air, sunny but with cool wind flowing by, I saw him. He was walking his dog and curiously observing his surroundings. I could not fathom what piqued my interest but like him, I decided to do some looking, specifically, at him. When people would pass by, he would bow his head. Some children would politely ask if they could pet his dog. He shook his head and mouths the word, “Sorry!” my watch started ringing and I realized my walk time is over, I had to go. I was sad, that I could no longer watch this gentleman but I pushed myself to walk on home.

 

          The next day I saw him again! However, this time, he’s sitting at the bench I liked sitting on. I began to hesitate, wondering, should I sit next to him, or find another nice spot? Recalling yesterday, I squared my shoulders, walked over to him, bowed, and asked if I could sit with him. He gestured to the bench. Now, we sat together in silence. Personally, I found it quite awkward. I felt like a dog waiting for her owner to allow her to eat the treats set precariously upon her nose, stiff and anxious. I thought to myself, ‘Should I break this silence like smashing a plate against a hard counter, or stay still like a leaf on tranquil waters?’ Yes, my mind works this way as a writer.

 

I made up my mind to introduce myself. I faced him and say, “Hello! Sorry for this awkward silence. My name is Peggy. May I know your name?” Now I waited like a waitress upon a customer’s orders. The next moment, the gentleman was flustered and I felt confused by his reaction. He composed himself and takes out his phone, types something, and hands his phone to me. I’m surprised. ‘What’s this?’ I looked at the screen and belatedly realized he’s deaf! “Hello Peggy! Nice to meet you! My name is Raphael. I am deaf but I practiced lip-reading so, I was able to understand you. 😊” My stars, I did not believe I’d stumble across a person like him. I bowed my head and properly mouth my words saying sorry if I have ever seemed offensive after I handed his phone back to him. He typed quickly and it said that he was not offended at all and he liked the fact I wanted to introduce myself after sitting next to him. On that day, we didn’t know how our worlds would change from then on.

 

From there, things blossomed beautifully. Because of him, he broadened my mind, my imagination, my world. We got closer and closer inevitably like bees to honey. Butterflies to flowers. I encouraged myself to study sign language so we could converse more but, I kept the fact that immediately after our first conversation, I had already planned on taking classes thereafter. He only knows I am looking for places to attend and learn sign language within our city. As time went by, we got closer and closer. We walked throughout the park, ate ice cream, read books at a book café, watched movies, played games at arcades, and even tried both ice skating and roller skating! Quite adventurous of us, yes! I don’t know what he’s thinking but, I know I’ve already fallen for his charms and wit and kindness and intelligence. I knew, I was going to be the on to ask him out. Screw the norms!

 

One evening, I asked him out to dinner as a pretext of planning another hangout session. He said yes. I brought him to his favorite diner. Of course, he knew my mind by then that I liked splitting the bill and he liked that part of me. We talk and dine and enjoy each other’s company. Walking out of the diner, I finally decide to reveal the fact I know sign language after making excuses that really hurt my conscience to ask him out. I hold his hand, tap his backhand, and he turns to face me. I sign, “I love you, for who you are and what you’ve taught me throughout our friendship. Would you please go out with me?” He gasped with his eyes wide open like the cutest kitty or puppy eyes. I laugh in delight and giddiness from his reaction. But, ooh how the tables turned. He suddenly spoke, “I love you too and wanted to ask you out too, but you beat me to the punch. Would you please go out with me?” I stood stock-still. I signed, “What?” He signed back, “Yes! Hahaha! Also, how dare you hide the fact you already know how to sign!” Well I went, “When did you learn to speak?! Speech therapy?!” He laughs and signs, “Well, looks like we made the exact same plans, huh?” I sign, “Yes, yes we did. And yes, let’s go out with each other.” We kissed and I experienced my first princess kick like in princess diaries. We are now happily married. This is the story of me investing in a man who invested in me too.

Author's Note

Sorry for my grammar problems and the way I wrote the dialogues or analogies!

Reviews

[moongirl]

This was short but sweet! I especially like your style of writing and your choice of words. As for the things you need to improve on, maybe try to describe the atmosphere and the setting even more? There are also a few grammar mistakes that I spotted, but either way I enjoyed the story :)

[gabby]

THIS IS SO CUTE!!! i have the biggest smile on my face right now! sobrang nakakakilig!!! AAAAAAA i love how you used your imagery and analogy, it was easy for me to visualize whats happening, yes screw norms!!! women can make the first move! i love how the both made the effort to make it work, Raphael's deafness did not become a hindrance to their relationship huhu all forms of loveeee! the things you need to improve on, the ending felt kind of rushed, given it was a short story, i understand, but maybe slow it down a bit sa ending or give more details about them. overall, i love your story :)

[pearl]

This is sooooo sweet! Nakakakilig hihi I love the details, especially the part when Peggy asked Raphael out! The story is really beautiful!

[Juancheeto]

This work truly speaks for itself, it really is a short love story. Through word choice and imageries used in this work, you can certainly tell that the writer is experienced when it comes to writing a story, feeling clean and smooth as you read through it. When it comes to writing or expressing yourself in any way, probably one of the most important things a piece of art can do is go beyond its own medium, and this work did just that, as I was reading the story, it allowed me to envision out the whole thing playing in my head. But as this is a short story, because of this, it makes the relationship developed by the characters feel rushed especially at the end. When it comes to the short story, I think it's important to understand that you need to make the story feel full in such a little package, which is why it's so hard to make an impactful short story since there's not enough room for the work to give you enough time to build the relationships in the story. The biggest strength that short stories have is usually through the moral of the story, that's why it would be ideal if the story was more simplistic to allow the reader to not be overwhelmed by the piece but also keep the uniqueness of the love story your work has. Overall I think this work is truly good and cute, but I feel like this type of story is expressed better in a longer medium, because there's too much stuff here that the story now contains a lot of untapped potential.

[Geean]

I really like your story, great use of imageries and choice of words, it made it really easy to understand and visualize your story. The ending was sweet, but I feel like you could have maybe stretched out the ending more. You could’ve developed their relationship more before leading to the ending, because it makes it feel a bit rushed, but overall, great story.

[mariposa]

awww this is so cute! I love how you were able to write a love story that is so refreshing. I like the way you wrote the attitude of the persona, I could really understand how she felt about the guy :)) I also agree with screwing the norms!! women can ask out men!!

[Lachimolala]

It's so cute I love the choice of words you made need more describing :)

[alfon]

Effective story. It catches the reader's attention.