The Boy Who's Like Fire

“The boy who’s like fire”

In an ordinary High School here in Quezon City. There studied a boy that’s utterly scary from head to toe, he had a scar around his face, carries around what students think is a knife, and struck fear to everyone that passed by him in hallways. Because of this, the boy was known as “The boy who’s like fire” or Fire in short, because just like fire, this boy was dangerous, attracts a lot of attention, and strikes fear to the people who see him. Fire never really caused any trouble to other kids, but if there’s one thing he would do, its that he would beat up anyone that would hurt others to the point that they have to be homeschooled.

Luckily for me, I have never had an encounter with such a scary boy, knowing that he’ll just be trouble for me, a high school girl that just wants to get high grades. But one day as I was on my way going home, a group of bullies started to approach me and shoved me to the ground but this  group was not just any ordinary bully group, it was Gabrielle’s bully group, the meanest of them all, Gabrielle is how I would put it, its as if all the mean girls in “Mean Girls” were combined together, that’s Gabrielle.

“Hey dink! Who thought that you can just walk around me and not expect anything was gonna happen.” Gabrielle said as she we was pouring her coffee all over me.

“What’s it to you, I just wanna go home, so leave me alone!” I said as I was crying on the floor all wet from her coffee.

“Well what are you gonna do about it, it’s not like you can do anything” Gabrielle said kicks me in the ground and leaves.”

As I was laying there in the ground, helpless and hurt, I thought in my mind that there was no way that things could get any worse, but oh was I surprised, a few minutes after my beating, laying on the floor I see someone approaching me with a scar on his face. As soon as I saw that scar, I knew that boy was Fire and the first thing that came to my mind was to beg for my life.

“No! Please don’t hurt me, I don’t have any money for you! Just please leave me alone!” I said in a voice trembling in fear.

The boy just slowly approached me and reaches out and grabs my arm.

‘AHHHHH! Don’t come any closer please!” I scream fearing for my life.

I was so scared that the only thing that I could do was close my eyes and wait for him to hurt me, but as soon as I open my eyes, I see a towel wrapped around the wound that Gabrielle made.

“Come with me.” The boy said in serious tone.

The boy brings me back to the school, leading me all the way to the nurse’s office and watches over as I get treated for my wound. After I got my wound treated I decided ask the boy for a favor.

“Hey can you walk me home? I’m don’t wanna get harassed by Gabrielle again.” I said

“Sure thing.” The boy said.

As we were walking home, I started to realize that though who Fire was, I never really got in depth as to why exactly he’s like that, I wanted to ask him, but I knew I didn’t wanna delve into something too personal for him. But alas my curious side got the best of me and decided to ask a small question.

“How did you get that scar?” I asked him.

“I got this from getting bullied when I was young that’s why I couldn’t stand seeing someone like you get bullied by people like them.” The boy said with tone of concern.

As we got to my home, I thanked him for walking me back home and greeted my mom.

“Iha! Why do you have a bandage on you arm! What Happened! Hay susmaryosep!” My mom shouts, worrying about my health.

“Don’t worry ma! I’m fine, a boy helped me” I said and smiled.

Ever since that happened, I grew closer and closer to the boy as time passed. We now walk together and greet each other every now and then in the hallways. Even if I got to know him, I still call him Fire because in a way, he still is. When people think of fire, its so common to think of the negative aspects of it at first because it seems scary, but people forget that fire is much more than that. Fire isn’t always their to hurt people, fire is passion, fire is what we use to warm and the hearts of others, fire is life. So yeah, this boy really is “the boy who’s like fire”.

Reviews

[Ysa]

Although I find your story cliche, what truly surprised me was your in-depth analogy! Also found your reference very funny hehe. I believe you may have rushed this short story with all the errors (grammatical and typographic ones) and how I felt a bit disappointed at the fact that the girl couldn't really speak or appreciate Fire more. Despite all this however, I can see and feel your character and values come into play in your writing! Just needs a bit more refining and improvement to make this a much better short story! Keep up the good work!

[Geean]

Very amazing and interesting perspective in writing. The way that you wrote it from the woman’s point of view was very unique and refreshing because its not something that I am personally familiar with. What makes it incredible for me is how I can still see your personality from your writing, but its more polished and mature. Easy to follow and the sequence of the events that took place is really good. Overall, this is a spectacular story.

[gabby]

Juanchito!!! i am surprised. i didnt know you have this kind of writing style. i always get so interested on how men can write a girl's perspective and i wonder how will they do it, and juanchoooo you came throughhh!!! proud of you godbro! i loved the fire analogy at the end. For things you need to improve on,“Hey can you walk me home? I’m don’t wanna get harassed by Gabrielle again haha.” ---- don't put haha because it sounds awkward, maybe just say "...Harassed by Gabrielle again" I laughed. Overall, i love you story :)

[moongirl]

I was kind of surprised at your style of writing. I liked the last part the most--"Fire isn’t always their to hurt people, fire is passion, fire is what we use to warm and the hearts of others, fire is life." How you described your analogy was nice. For the things you need to improve on, there are several grammatical errors and spelling, like “What’s it you, I just wanna go home, so leave me alone!” and the overuse of the word "said" after every dialogue. Overall your story is interesting but could still be polished.

[alfon]

Juancho, it is a well-structured story. Best descriptions throughout the story.