Chapter 5

I set Asher's glass of warm milk on the table as he ran around doing his nightly routine. He exhibited obsessive compulsive disorder and wasn't able to stray from it. Every night before bed he had to flush the toilet twice after using it, wash his hands, and then flush it one more time. I've tried coming up with some way to coax him into not doing it, but he's adamant and throws a tantrum if he can't fulfill his need to do it. 

            Edward was sitting at the kitchen table with me. I explained to him Asher's OCD as best as I could. When Asher finally walked downstairs in his rocket ship pajamas, Edward whistled and said, "Gnarly PJ's, kiddo." Asher ignored him and took his seat at the table. I smiled and patted his hair. "Did you do your thing?" I asked him. He nodded and took a drink of his milk.

            "I'm not working tomorrow, bud," I said, sitting next to him at the table. "What do you want to do?"

            "Picnic," he said immediately, looking at Edward. "With daddy." I glanced at Edward, who looked surprised. 

            "Well, why not?" he said with a grin. "That sounds like fun." He ruffled Asher's hair and asked, "Where do you want to have the picnic?"
            "On the big hill by the river," Asher said into his glass as he took another drink. "It's fun to run down it." 

            "That sounds like a lot of fun," I said, smiling at Edward. "We haven't gone on a picnic in a really long time." Asher finished his milk and slid off of his chair, walking his glass to the sink. He couldn't reach. "Mommy, can you help me?" he asked. I walked over and lifted him up so he could set his glass into the sink to be washed. 

            "Goodnight, mommy," he said as I set him down.

            "Night, hon," I replied. "I'll be up to tuck you in in a bit. Remember to brush your teeth, ok?" Asher nodded and made his way up the stairs, Dexter following suit. 

            "I think you just won 'father of the year,'" I said as I sat back down at the table. 

            "I couldn't say no, could I?" Edward retorted. "I can't afford to make him hate me."
            "Ed, I promise, he'll never hate you. He seems to love you a lot already, even though he just met you today, which is amazing. It takes him a little while to warm up to people, but he liked you instantly." I got up and went to the sink to wash Asher's glass. Edward remained silent for a few moments until he sighed. "I feel so damn guilty for being away."
            "Well, tomorrow you can spend some time with your son," I said, drying Asher's milk glass and putting it in the cupboard. "The past is behind us, so focus on the present and how it affects our future." I paused, staring out the window above the sink. "Asher finally has his father back. Maybe now he'll smile more." I felt the tears rising again. I quickly shook my head and cleared my thoughts. Arms were suddenly wrapped around me and I jumped, forgetting what it felt like to be so close to someone after five years. 

            "You're a great mom," Edward said softly into my ear. "You deserve a break, Lucy." I bit my bottom lip and said, "Moms don't take breaks until they're six feet under." 

            "Well, that was a morbid way to put it," Edward sighed. His arms released me and he yawned, stretching his arms above him. 

            "I need to go tuck Asher into bed," I said, taking a deep breath. "I'll be right back down."
            "Okay." Edward turned and made his way to the couch while I went up the stairs and down the hall, turning the corner to Asher's room. Through his open door I could see him sitting on his bed with his favorite storybook in his hands. Dexter was sitting patiently on the ground at the foot of the bed, waiting for me to tuck Asher in so he could jump on. 

            "Time for bed," I said, lifting Asher off of his bed and setting him on the floor. Dexter wagged his tail, now standing. I pulled back the covers. "Climb in." Asher crawled into the bed and held up his storybook. "Mommy, can you read tonight?"

            "Sorry, not tonight," I yawned, tucking his blankets around him. "Mommy's tired." 

            "Can daddy?"

            "Sweetie, let's let him get some rest, too, okay? I'm sure he had a long train ride to get here." Dexter was suddenly on the bed, his massive head suddenly between Asher and I. Asher giggled and hugged Dexter around his neck as he settled down, resting his head on Asher's belly. I patted his head and said, "You keep him in this bed, Dex. No wandering around again." Dexter replied with an exhausted sigh, wagging his tail slightly. 
            "Goodnight, Asher," I said, leaning over and kissing his forehead. "I love you." 
            "Goodnight, mommy," he said, petting Dexter lightly and closing his eyes. I quietly walked to his door and turned off the light, gently closing his door. 

            "I was right, you are a good mom," Edward suddenly said behind me. I jumped, not expecting him to be there.

            "I thought you were waiting downstairs," I whispered, ushering him around the corner from Asher's room.

            "What, I can't be there when you put our son to bed?" Edward joked. His smile faltered. 

            "Ed, stop feeling guilty," I said. "You're here now and that's all that matters, okay?" Edward nodded. "Okay." He turned and saw that our bedroom was right behind him. 

            "I...guess I'll be crashing on the couch," he said. "Goodnight, Lucy."
            "Edward," I said quickly, grabbing his hand when he turned to go downstairs. "You don't have to. We...we are married, after all." Edward turned back and looked at me, a sad gleam in his eyes. 

            "Don't leave me alone," I whispered. "Not tonight." Edward closed his eyes and rested his forehead against mine. "I won't leave you alone. I promise."

            We walked into the bedroom.

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"Ed, what's the matter?" I asked, stifling a yawn. Edward was sitting up in bed with a worried look on his face. He turned and swung his legs over the side of the bed, his face in his hands. I sat up and pulled the blanket over to cover my chest. 

            "Edward," I said quietly, placing my hand on his AutoMail. "Talk to me." He looked over his shoulder at my hand and sighed. 

            "What if...we didn't think that through?" he asked.

            "You mean...what if I get pregnant?" I replied, on my knees and hugging him from behind, my chin resting on his left shoulder. He nodded. 

            "Ed, don't worry," I said quietly. "It isn't possible anymore. 

            "What do you mean?"
            "About a year after you left, I met with Dr. Marcoh for a follow-up checkup. She thought she found cancer in my uterus," I explained. "and after some tests, she turned out to be right. I managed to have a hysterectomy before it spread, so now..." I felt like I was going to cry, reliving the procedure and the consequences. "I can't have any more children. I'm sorry, Ed, but...we can't have a baby together." I pressed my eyes against his shoulder, hoping to hide my tears from him. 

            "Don't apologize," Edward said softly, turning around and hugging me. Don't you dare apologize. Asher is our child together, Lucy." I wiped my eyes and smiled. 

            "I love you, Edward," I whispered. "I'm so glad to have you back."

            "I love you, too," he whispered back. "I promise, I'm not going anywhere anytime soon."
            "Promise?"
            "Promise."

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"Let's go, let's go!" Asher whined, tugging on my hand. "C'mon! Picnic!"

            "Asher, settle down! I'm still making lunch." He groaned loudly. "Go outside and play with Dex, okay?" I told him. "We'll go soon."

            "Fine," Asher pouted, crossing his arms. He stomped out the door, Dexter following him. Just as Asher walked out the door, Edward walked in, sidestepping around Dexter and holding a picnic basket over his head.

            "Winry and Granny had one," he said, setting the basket on the table. 

            "I'll have to call and thank them later," I replied, cutting the sandwiches in half and putting them in separate bags. “Edward, there are some apples in the fridge. Mind cutting some up for Asher?”

            “No problem.” He took two apples and sliced them before putting them in bags as well. I filled a small bowl with ice and put the apple slices in it then put a lid on the bowl to keep the apples cold and to make sure they didn’t brown.

            “He’s so excited,” Edward said, looking out the window at Asher. “I thought you said he was really introverted?”

            “He normally is. I haven’t seen him this energetic in a really long time.” It made me happier than ever to see Asher come out of his shell, but there was a small part of me that wondered how long it was going to last.

            The phone suddenly began ringing.

            “I’ll get it,” Edward offered, moving toward it. He answered it, “Hello?” He paused as he listened to the caller. “Uh, yeah, just a sec.” He held the phone out to me. I put down what I was doing and wiped my hands on my jeans before taking the phone from him.

            “This is Lucy,” I said into it.

            “Lucy, hi, this is Rosemary,” the elderly woman on the other side of the line said. “Listen, I know I said yesterday that you didn’t need to come in today, but I really need an extra set of hands right now. I don’t expect it to be too long, maybe an hour or two. Are you available?”
            “I’m sorry, but, I’m taking Asher on a picnic,” I said softly. “I don’t want to disappoint him.”

            “Can’t the gentleman who answered the phone watch him for you?” Rosemary begged. “It’s crazy over here and I really need the help.” After all she had done for me, I couldn’t find it in my heart to say no to her.

            “Alright, Rosemary, I’m on my way,” I said with a sigh. “I’ll be there in about ten minutes.” I hung up the phone, feeling suddenly drained of energy.

            “What’s up?” Edward asked, finishing up packing the basket. “Where do you need to go?”
            “That was Rosemary, the woman I work for. She really needs help at the flower stand, I just couldn’t say no.”

            “For how long? What about the picnic?”

            “She guessed between one and two hours.” I slipped my shoes on and put on my coat. “Asher’s going to hate me for this.” I stepped outside and Edward followed me with the basket.

            “Can we go now?” Asher asked, running over and hugging my legs. I kneeled down and said, “I’m really sorry, Asher, but Rosemary called and she needs my help with flowers.”

            “What about the picnic?” he asked, clearly disappointed.

            “The two of us can still have a picnic,” Edward said. “We’ll have to have twice as much fun for mommy, okay?”

            “But…” Asher whimpered, his eyes tearing up. I hugged him and kissed his forehead. “It’s ok, sweetie. You and daddy have fun and I’ll join you as soon as I can. Be happy for mommy, okay? Can I see your smile?” He wouldn’t smile. Instead he wiped his eyes and walked over to Edward, taking his hand. I was used to Asher being distant, but after he had been so happy, I felt a pain in my heart. “I’m really sorry, Asher.” I stood back up and kissed Edward’s cheek before waving goodbye and walking down the path to the flower shack by the station.