Out of the Darkness and Into the Light

Just something that I came up with. I'm trying to get better with rhyming...which isn't my strongpoint. :/

He saw the Light

Through the Darkness of his Heart

 

The Darkness almost broke him,

Nearly shattered him apart

 

The Light didn't give up,

It gave him a chance

 

To fix what was wrong,

To broaden his stance

 

Now he will step forward

And finish his fight,

 

Out of the Darkness and

Into the Light

Author's Note

Please leave honest opinions. I don't think I'll continue poetry if people don't like this...

Reviews

[Glowheart]

I really liked this. It has a good flow, and gives a nice mental picture.

"The Darkness almost broke him,
Nearly shattered him apart"

Not sure if its just me, but that little bit there sounded a bit awkward to me.

"Now he will step forward
And finish his fight,

Out of the Darkness and
Into the Light"

I really like that end bit. Its my favorite bit of the poem.

[PaperHearts]

A very interesting concept! I liked the fact that you gave 'Darkness' and 'Light' capital letters, and thought that the flow of this piece was fantastic. This had great imagery, and a real sense of strength and power, particularly in the mid section of the poem. Nice work,
~PaperHearts

[Marie Harrison]

Loved this poem

[ForTheWorld]

it's a beautiful piece of work, it tells us to be a wise man of light, to correct our wrong when light gave us another chance, it nice..i love it

[Eile MacIntyre]

Very good. Me likie alot. :)

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

Nice flow. Its hard to rhyme and still make the poem
make sense. You did very well. I liked the story as well.
It was almost like they synopsis of a RPG.

[Petal]

awesome loved it!! xD isn't he from final fantasy or kingdom hearts

[Emunah June.]

Nice tone, smooth, and original at that. Extra points for the picture too, cuz I know who that is. :)