One more evening

Or, The Autumn of Life

When golden days have changed to brown,

And months have worn old autumn's cloak;

When years have strolled through grassy hearts,

What memories do they evoke?

 

When evening dawns on lawns of life,

The sun entangled in their leaves;

When days are long like empty songs;

Will you then hum these tunes we weave?

 

When manes are grayed by winds of change

And youthful laughter starts to cease;

When thoughts are hindered by the past,

Will time corrode the bonds of peace?

 

We painted rhapsodies of dreams

Like murals on the walls of time.

Will autumn spare these tapestries

And let our words forever rhyme?

 

We do not know what autumn brings;

For one more evening, let us live

And celebrate till time expires, 

And learn to cherish and forgive.  

 

Author's Note

Iambic tetrameter. My favorite foot and meter :)

Reviews

[Dinesh Sairam]

"When days are long like empty songs;
Will you then hum these tunes we weave?"

Abruptly made me feel woebegone :(

"We painted rhapsodies of dreams
Like murals on the walls of time."

Once again, Abdul's definition of beauty ;)

"We do not know what autumn brings;
For one more evening, let us live
And celebrate till time expires,
And learn to cherish and forgive"

Somehow I feel this one incomplete.. Maybe because I crave for more from the poem and it ended quickly, can't express it exactly, but nevermind.

Cupid bless you, bro :) Toda para ti? (It's Portuguese for 'What more can I say?'.. I use it often because it spells nice!)

[Akinlolu]

You paint beautifully with your words.

[DIVYA]

Baeutifully asked...

Life drifts along with drifting seasons and people change. There is no assurance we will be where we are today. And so the human soul seeks reassurance from the beloved!

A great write again Abdul!

[Abdul Aziz]

Thank you very much for the review :)

[Gleb Zavlanov]

These words are pure gold! I am not flattering! I especially loved the third stanza. Once again you managed to convey a deep, powerful message with beautiful, harmonious words. Bravo! 100++

[Abdul Aziz]

Thank you very much :)

[Gleb Zavlanov]

It was my pleasure

[Kaa Na Kalyanasundaram]

We painted rhapsodies of dreams

Like murals on the walls of time.

Will autumn spare these tapestries

And let our words forever rhyme?


.................wonderful write Abdul Aziz. I like your way of writing. Your poem is having very good stuff and teaching the smile of nature and humanity. With regards. Continue....

[Dane Osborne]

Abdul I think this is my favorite peice of yours or atleast one of them. I read this aloud to myself and you have a masterly command of the flow and rythms and musicality that english is capable of. You probaly speak better english than some americans I know over here LOL

It comes off to me like you are aknowledging that all things, including objects of truth and beauty, are doomed to be transitory. BUT yet despite that you find hope in embracing the mystery of that transitory nature where others run in fear of it.

[AK]

It is wonderful! Great use of words and brilliant imagery! Impressive write!

[Undying Glory]

wow this was just amazing work, vivid, picturesque and just beautiful. about time i read this one i suppose. this seems like the verbal incarnation of the sheer grace, beauty and colours of autumn. forget that. this IS the verbal incarnation.
"We painted rhapsodies of dreams
Like murals on the walls of time.
Will autumn spare these tapestries
And let our words forever rhyme?"
now those were just brilliant lines. you've written amazingly here. brilliant man!!

[Melanie Jane Boicourt S..]

This is beautiful!!!

[Aven]

This has to be one of my favorites. The imagery evoked by your words is amazing.

[Alana]

Your opening stanza captured me right away. I loved the use of ‘golden days’ in the first line, and ‘years’ in the third. A double meaning could be used there, the concept of ‘golden years’ instead: a life of memories past to reminisce upon. The image of something golden fading to brown is something heartbreaking, a downfall from vibrant to dull. This is punctuated even more in your use of ‘autumn’s cloak’, it’s the winding down of vivacity.
I loved “When evening dawns on lawns of life”. I think I could write a book about that line alone. The contrast and possibility of a pun is using evening and dawn beside each other, the internal rhyme, the image in general, it’s phenomenal.
“Will time corrode the bonds of peace?” – fantastic, mind-blowing diction choice. This line really just jumped out at me. The theme of ending, of aging, is becoming more and more precise. You add a new level of clarity and detail with each line you write.
“Rhapsodies of dreams” – absolutely lovely.
“We do not know what autumn brings” – this abruptly made me feel sad. Autumn can be so volatile, it’s the in-between of blooming and wilting. Will there be an early winter, or will there be a few more golden days?
Your final lines? Breath-taking, “to cherish and forgive” is a lesson we all need to keep close to our hearts.
This is otherworldly.