HIT YOUR GOAL

Don't let your dreams fade 

Love can defeat hate 

Time is just a thief 

Steals happiness and leaves you in grief 

Live like you will die tomorrow 

So don't let yourself die in sorrows 

Forget what you have lost and learn to move on 

No one can break you as long as they know you are strong 

Learn from your mistakes 

But don't let them break you 

Just be real and pure 

So that no one can make you insecure 

Don't give a damn what other people say 

Cause you are beautiful in your own way 

Be the star of your own sky 

You are always a winner as long as you try 

Open your heart and free your soul 

And when the time comes hit your goal 

Reviews

[外人 (Gaiji..]

Great job with metrica, I guess I can say without problems, that (at least for the people I know) you're the "queen of the couplets in WC", you just write them so naturally and superbly at the same time. The flow is amazing, and it doesn't hurt AT ALL watching you finally write a "good mood type" of poem !! You make such great works when you do it !!

[....]

s deep & powerful read. nicely expressed

[Laura Maidah]

Some full stops could create total dissonance to the conflict of your words juxtaposed with the dreamy sequences. It's beautiful. The rhythm is consistent, which is always nice. Living like it's your last day is a little stale and banal IMHO. The only flaw in an impeccable gem.

[Corset]

yes, a wonderful positive upbeat message in this, this inspires me :)

[Mazie Tackett]

its pretty good the meaning is really good

[Boy of the red]

Very well done. Love the rhyming scheme. Amazing

[~Sara~]

I like this poem, however, during the end, it ended. That was the sad part, ha. Anyways, if you don't mind, there is an error here and there that might help the poem. "So don't let yourself die in *sorrow*." "Don't give a *damn* what other people say." Great job! I loved how you wrote like I do. Let them haters and raters be your motivators! You definitely grasped my attention with this awesome poem! Thanks for sharing!
-Sara

[Owlgirl]

Great, powerful, writing. Amazing poetry! Awesome flow and rhyme scheme.

[shawlyn]

Hi afra,
Another good poem, which I feel must reflect your personal philosophy. Some of your poems reflect real life messages to live by. Well done
Regards
Shawlyn

[Olivia Marie]

I liked it, however; I'd be careful not to use common everyday sayings. Find a way to arrange your words into something completely new! :) But I still found it very inspirational.

[The Pain Stays Fresh]

This is good. I love the light tone and the wonderful rhythm. You did a good job with the ryhme scheme too. :)