scribbled on hotel stationery dated 20/11/2015

Fleeting Thoughts #2

You counted the freckles on my back,

while I made a list of things 

that reminded me of you;

our throats choking on those 

three words we would not dare speak -

And for now,

that would do.

Author's Note

Something I wrote down some time ago, found while trying to search for some inspiration to finish this creative project I have to get done by the end of this week.

It's short, but thought I'd share. I still could identify.

Reviews

[Joshua Demarest]

This is a wonderful poem. Short and sweet. The imagery is so clear it's like I'm there as a fly on the wall for one moment suspended in eternity. The structure of this poem flowed perfectly - the punctuation worked well and the line break that implied exactly which three little words you were both choking on was stellar. Then the almost broken pause between "and for now" and "that would do" (at least for me) allowed for plenty of thought. Overall, this is really great stuff.

[Alice Poésy]

Your review was an absolute delight to read, filled both with praise and an in-depth analysis of the piece. I can't thank you enough for taking the time to read it.

I've come to realise that punctuation, pauses and breaks are the body language of written words. They can either make it, or break it, as they say. Really delighted it gave you something to think about. Thank you very much for stopping by; it was a pleasure.

[FIN]

Such love. Silence and what's In front of you is all you needed in the moment to fulfill your hearts. Beautifully written. Made me very happy!

[Mefi]

beautiful. So beautiful. Your writing is one of a kind.

[Deuces]

So much said in this powerful and petite piece. It's amazing how much of life we as humans choose not to live and take tomorrow for granted, especially in love. I can relate to this piece. Saying those three words is something we all want to do, yet almost feel instant regret if you're the "first one" to do so.

But, in the midst of life's turmoil, not saying those three words will definitely "do." It complicates things.

I also found and liked a sort of double entendre, as you also ended the poem in three words: "that would do."

Love it.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

time for some DayQuil....

once that throat gets cleared and the count is done, we might be able to say the words.

there is such a mood to your writing...

and i love freckles...
j.

[Lydia Shutter]

Sometimes "I love you" is impossible to say....because of the heavy commitment that comes along with it. Love the scene you paint here. Lydi**

[Alice Poésy]

Indeed it is! Thank you very much for stopping by and your wise words :)

[Neville]

What a smashing little write this is, am gonna read it again and again for sure...N

[Alice Poésy]

Why, thank you so much for your lovely words! I'm glad you enjoyed it :). Thank you for stopping by.

[Neville]

My pleasure entirely.

[Karmee]

This is a nicely well written piece

[Alice Poésy]

:) Thank you for stopping by!

[V]

It's short but expressive. Well-written, containing deep emotions and lovely images. I like this one a lot.

[Alice Poésy]

Thank you once again, Vanessa. Always so flattered by your comments!

[V]

:) Anytime. I truly enjoy your poems.

[Lorry]

Sometimes the want to hear them is better than the hearing them. A beautiful moment that doesn't need to be spoken to be felt.

[Alice Poésy]

No one could have said it better!

[Lorry]

........:)