scribbled on hotel stationery dated 20/11/2015

Fleeting Thoughts #2

You counted the freckles on my back,

while I made a list of things 

that reminded me of you;

our throats choking on those 

three words we would not dare speak -

And for now,

that would do.

Author's Note

Something I wrote down some time ago, found while trying to search for some inspiration to finish this creative project I have to get done by the end of this week.

It's short, but thought I'd share. I still could identify.

Reviews

[Joshua Demarest]

This is a wonderful poem. Short and sweet. The imagery is so clear it's like I'm there as a fly on the wall for one moment suspended in eternity. The structure of this poem flowed perfectly - the punctuation worked well and the line break that implied exactly which three little words you were both choking on was stellar. Then the almost broken pause between "and for now" and "that would do" (at least for me) allowed for plenty of thought. Overall, this is really great stuff.

[Alice Poésy]

Your review was an absolute delight to read, filled both with praise and an in-depth analysis of the piece. I can't thank you enough for taking the time to read it.

I've come to realise that punctuation, pauses and breaks are the body language of written words. They can either make it, or break it, as they say. Really delighted it gave you something to think about. Thank you very much for stopping by; it was a pleasure.

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

I like it. The hardest things to say comes in threes and twos lol. Counting freckles is like counting stars and shaping them, not everybody's appearance is so entertaining.

[Alice Poésy]

Hear hear! The hardest kind of words.

I liked how you compared counting freckles to the stars :D. Indeed it does feel like an endless task!

Thank you for stopping by, always a pleasure :)

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

The more the stars the better!
You're most welcome! :)

[Pushkar Prabhat]

WoW!!!
cryptic.......
beautiful......
masterfully crafted.....
absolutely loved it!!!!
:)

[Alice Poésy]

Your words are giving me such a boost throughout my long day today. I can't thank you enough!

I will be sure to stop by your page and read more of your writings later tonight :). And again: Thank you for stopping by!

[Pushkar Prabhat]

my pleasure.........and i would love that!!! :) :)

[Mifa]

Three words we would not dare speak, huh. I see you're still doling out coded messages in your poems Alice. Anyways, as always, your piece is great. Jeez...counting someones freckles...that's got to be a lot of work though. Lol. It's a great piece, reminded me of something without the freckled part. Good one, dear.

[Alice Poésy]

I don't think it'll ever stop being coded, haha! Kind of like: Take what you want from it, it's your poem too.

Oh it's a task alright, one he hasn't finished haha.

Thank you so much! Hope the connotations are good ones :)

[Mifa]

Yeah, they are.