Stone Statue

Shiny silver ribbon in

Your jet-black hair

The cold glimmer of

Your false light was

Enticing, tempting, mesmerizing

I reached out to touch you, but

Like a creeping vine

You coiled round my wrist

Slithered between my fingers

Climbed up my arm

And now your silver ribbon

Adorns my neck

Like a delicate chain

Caught in your web

I’m a stone statue among

Wild, thorny roses that bloom

With a loud color and

A pungent smell

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I chased that silver ribbon a few times...and then the light went out and I tripped and broke my heart.

My common sense took a hit as well...Now that smell is killing me and I have to shield my eyes
from the "loud color."

Well done, Laz...you wrote so many of us into this.
j.

[Laz K.]

Thank you j.
I am also trying to employ common sense, but I just can't get over the fact that something that was supposed to be the most beautiful thing in life has an equally ugly, terrible face. Call me naive, but I didn't see that coming.
Anyway, thanks again for reading, commenting, and understanding.

[Helen]

I love this poem, the sound of it and the imagery.

I also love your profile statement:

"I make stories, and they make me".

I am jealous that I didn't think of that because it is exactly how it has been for me since I started writing!

[Laz K.]

Thank you for reading and commenting.
As we write, we're being written, right? That's why it's so magical.
Thanks again!

[Helen]

Yes, truly magical!

[barleygirl]

This is brilliant writing, snapping imagery, fulsome metaphor, the stark silver ribbon. At first I was going to relate to your message which is strong & vivid. This could've been said about me, in my younger, more predatory days. But then your wordcrafting bowled me over & reading this became all about picturing that silver ribbon strangling this guy into submission (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Coyote Poetry]

Amazing use of words and thoughts Laz.
"I’m a stone statue among
Wild, thorny roses that bloom
With a loud color and
A pungent smell"
I did like the above lines. Us, who become stone statues. Do we become just observers of our world. Thank you for sharing the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[Paul Bell]

This could be a Government health warning on love and the consequences one finds themselves in when the silver ribbon tightens around ones neck. Then again, who reads Government health warnings. Like this write.