the day

this just came to me

On the day I decided to slit my wrists
My sister walked in on me.
She saved me.

I hated her.
Why wouldn't she let me end it all?

After the shrink pronounced me sane,
I went home.

I measured the rope.
I cut it.
I practiced the knots.
I smiled a lot.
I played happy for a while.
When no one was looking,
I went out to my favourite tree.

And this time, no one was there to stop me.

Author's Note

for all the someones I knew who did this. Just because there was no there to stop you doesn't mean you weren't loved.

Reviews

[Madalyn Beck]

Your meaning is etched into the words. This is a sad write, yet holds a sort of beauty in it. Great job with this! :)

[Lyn Anderson]

Thanks. It is an intensely personal piece.

[John Anderson]

A well constructed piece that begs to be read, and re-read. There is so much to ponder here...

[Lyn Anderson]

Thank you so much. It is unfortunately, something I have experienced from my teens into adulthood.

[MsJewel]

Wow...haunting words that I will remember. A powerful poem!

:) Julie

[Lyn Anderson]

Thanks so much for your review.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Plath-esque...in its resolve to do the act, but with a bit of the sarcasm of Sexton mixed in.

[Lyn Anderson]

The sarcasm comes from a note of one of the people I based this poem on. Unfortunately, I know too many people who did this, all before the age of twenty.

[m.s.early]

Whoa. This poem cleverly nails me to the wall. I'm dumbfounded. And trust me... it's not like me to have little to say.

This is weighty in its declaration that with the right attitude nothing retards the actions of the intent. There are those whose mind is made up and all the technology in the world cannot provide a fool proof arena for containing the seriously depressed. There are politics involved in maintaining a well thought out plan and a bright smile is the mark of a brilliant politician.

it is the duty of physicians, friends, and family to do what they can to preserve life. Period. But in the mind of the intent, it is only a matter of time.

You exposed the core on this one KL. Well done. Very.

[Lyn Anderson]

This is a thoughtful review that only a person who has great empathy and understanding of the complexity of the nature of suicide and its toll on family and friends could give. Thank you.

[Aethereal]

Nature supplies each of us with positive and negative incentives to continue at least long enough to procreate and nurture our chicks, but sometimes neurological chemistry goes awry; and then we wish to die. Those who survive are blessed by Evolution whereby they pass on their strong survival genes to future generations: and this is why most of us are addicted to life instead of death. Natural Selection rules!

[Lyn Anderson]

Thank you for your review, although in crafting this, I hardly consider teenage suicide to be part of natural selection, and I am sure that is not what you meant.

[Aethereal]

I meant that Natural Selection is responsible for us not becoming suicidal at least until we procreate and nurture our next generation. Those who didn’t last long enough in the prehistoric past because they didn’t have the positive and negative biological incentives to survive didn’t pass on their biological propensity for suicide. Suicide is unnatural behavior. A species can’t survive if all of its individuals behave in a suicidal way.

[Lyn Anderson]

Yes, that goes without saying, I don't look at this clinically for personal reasons. Thank you for your considered opinion.:)

[Aethereal]

A clinical understanding of disrupted biological processes that may lead to suicide may help people deal with suicide in the future. At the present time, billions of dollars have been set aside by the United States in an attempt to fully understand the functioning of the human brain. Mental illness is one of the biggest problems of modern society. About one in seven people suffer from mental illness sometime during their lives.