Forgetting

What do you do when your heart sees past the telescope watching over your life? When your heart feels for something greater, and more passionate than life can offer? What do you do though, when that love consumes you and allows no time for maintaining the mainstream of life? To stray, means failing in today's fast paced and critical society. What do you do? What choice do you make when all you want to do is hide away from the real world and spend every waking second, every breathing moment, with another beating soul? Others tell us this is not healthy. That it's not okay to indulge so much in one person that you have no desires or aspirations to form other relations outside of this comfort. But I say, have the individuals that devolge this assesment onto me, ever experienced the kind of passion I have? Have they ever wanted to consume another soul? Have they ever felt the need to push farther into the ones they love? Have they ever wanted to give so much for another heart beat that they would truly take a bullet or trade an unfornate occurance so that the other never had to suffer? Have they ever cried and felt restless because one night was not enough? Have they ever experienced how something so beautiful can cause so much pain? Have they ever known how easy it is to give yourself fully to another being? To expand and omulate your deepest secrets and thoughts? Have they ever felt broken and alone when they're not with that person? The kind of love where though you awoke together, by the days end you are left untouched. If you have not experiened this, then you do not know. You do not understand what it's like to feel the words “I love you” burned alive. To feel like you're not yourself unless you're with the other.

How is it then, that when you indulge and give so much to this person, you in turn hurt so much? That all your motivation and everything you worked for, goes out the window. You struggle to leave the house because all you want to do is be with this other person? How is it then, that when you make a choice, career and studies first, you end up having to make a choice between the two. The one who is bringing you down, the one making you feel guilty for aspirations, leaves you ending up feeling worst? How is it that you end up not wanting to remain? Alone in a place where only you and I exsist, we fall passionately. No one knows us, and we find ourselves. Alone the world is ours, without society telling us how we should feel, and what we should do. Alone we fall into one; consuming another. Alone we let other's influences have no effect. Apart, we struggle. We struggle to understand eachother's mainstreams. We struggle to fall into rhythm. We struggle to accept. We struggle to manage time, and work. We feel more alone when we're not together. Alone, is not the same when we're apart. Alone we are one, seperate we are none.

We could be great, and leave our dreams on the shore. We could run away together and within us we'd feel the same way we did all those years ago. We could thrive and flourish, and exceed love. But we would never survive. Without responsibilty, without money, we can not live. Without jobs, without work, one can not achieve stability. Without the necessaities needed in this life, that are roadblocks keeping us apart, we can not maintain in society. Two people can share the same heart, but there will always be something missing. But with these things, there is no us. Our roads and desires do not align, but there's too much inside us, and we are both so unwilling to let go. A feeling like this, is once in a lifetime. It's unique, rare, unheard of, unknown, undescribable. Whatever it is, we try to ignore the contrasts of our lifestyles, the faults that effect our needs. They only build up, and explode like a shooting star unwilling to let go, as it falls to it's doom. Where do we go from here?