By the Tree

By the Tree

A Poem by deepblue04

Every day, I wear my mask

Hoping for someone to pay attention to me

But for winters and springs

I would wait by the tree

No one to notice

While they’re passing by

 

You were the first to notice me

You came up to me

And took my mask off

Picked me up and danced with me

Oh, I wish that the moment

Would be forever

But you walked away

 

I would wait for days

For you to come back

But I realized

That the moment was

Too good to be true

 

For once, my heart was open

For once, my heart felt something

But the moment was too short

So, I started to grew cold

While I wait for you to come back

With the memories that I hold so dear

I put my mask back on

While the people pass by

       

There would be people that

Would sit down and talk to me

But it wasn’t like the way

It was with you

 

Please come back

Please come back

I want to be close to you

Just like the time you came

You opened up the real me

I was able to be myself

I don’t have to show

Somebody that I’m not

 

You were the first to notice me

You came up to me

And took my mask off

Picked me up and danced with me

Oh, I wish that the moment

Would be forever

But you walked away

 

For once, my heart was open

For once, my heart felt something

But the moment was too short

So, I started to grew cold

While I wait for you to come back

With the memories that I hold so dear

I put my mask back on

While the people pass by

 

Can't you consider

Coming back

Coming back, to me

© 2012 deepblue04


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Author's Note

deepblue04
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Featured Review

this is so honest and true, I'm starting to really enjoy your work! I particularly enjoyed: "You were the first to notice me/You came up to me/And took my mask off/Picked me up and danced with me" I think that lines like that really give a powerful insight into the emotion of the subject of the poem. great job, keep it up! (:

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Very long, the better to be honest, this poem speaks the truth.

Posted 7 Years Ago


I find it cute... nice

Posted 7 Years Ago


highly palatable and very sad, good one!

Posted 7 Years Ago


ooooooooooooooooooh nice

Posted 7 Years Ago


Very lovely, friend. It could almost be a song. Great flow. :)

Posted 7 Years Ago


I think t's nice :D You've a lot of different emotions in this poem, and can surly feel it:D And yeah, I think the repetition of "coming back" works a lot! Sometimes, waiting and hoping hurts one feeling so much, but then without knowing the ending, we'll never know do it worth or not!

Posted 7 Years Ago


wooow..anotehr lovely work of yours....very nicely expressed the torment and anguish felt...well done..:)

Posted 7 Years Ago


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Sam
It was good! I really enjoyed how you talked about the mask you wear. Great job!


Posted 7 Years Ago


Your poem has an uncomplicated feel to it, written in simple lines. Yet, it portrays some basic human needs. We all would like to be noticed, in one way or another. We all need faithful friends. A close friend may be in our life for a while, then move on, creating a void within us and a yearning for their presence. So, although simple in some ways it gives us much to ponder. The words are clear and the meaning is understandable, which makes this a successful communication.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on June 8, 2012
Last Updated on June 23, 2012

Author

deepblue04
deepblue04

DeRidder, LA



About
Hi! My name is Susan. I love reading and writing poetry! I will accept any friend request and will review any type of writing. I like to listen to k-pop/rock, rock. Blue is my favorite color. M.. more..

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