Comatose

12 word horror story contest ~ Winner Thank you Zahra for hosting and judging.

~ rhythmic. thuds.  ~ 

~ of earth. ~

~ disguised. screams. ~

~ and scraping. ~ 

~ beneath the. ~

~ casket. lid. ~

Reviews

[SleeplessVolcano]

I think this worked brilliantly.......Thoughts going through either the mind of the person in the casket, or the one hearing any screams.......would mimic a rhythm, and quite frankly, when I read this out loud, it sounds like a beating heart - quite apt, for one about to die due to suffocation.

I was nine years old when my older brother told me stories of people buried alive hundreds of years ago, but they were not really dead, and then the casket bumping against the bottom of the grave gave their hearts a jolt and they started breathing.....only to discover their horrible fate.......I labelled those nightmares, "The casket chronicles".......0:

[ANTO]

SV I wrote this after reading of a teen girl who came round after being put in her tomb in a mausoleum - her family videoed themselves smashing open the tomb (alabaster or thin marble, I think). I remember seeing a program which said bells were attached to some graves so the occupant could ring if they came to. - the stuff of nightmares...
:))

[Ken Simm.]

Yes it did. I did feel the cool of the tomb and the various scents of death. Or not as the case maybe.

[ANTO]

Are you a Libran Ken - that was a very Libran review. Kidding. Im glad you got 'deepl' into it my friend.

[s y e]

This is great Anto, it definitely did work!

[ANTO]

Thank you Sye. My pal. :)

[andrew mitchell]

Excellent Anto, good to see you in the mix again Anto

[ANTO]

Thank you Andrew - great to be back mate. :)