A Lesson Learned

How kind her teared eyes that hid the truth; from the lips that would never confess.

 

Rode the train with my girl today

across the barn swept hollows

Past lush fields of emerald green

with the life and love that follows

 

The train car tapped out a lullaby beat

which spent our time lost in leisure

The smiles past came by with the peace

life's sweet gifts we couldn’t measure

 

A man had set across the aisle of us

he seemed so different from me

Clothes tattered, torn and weathered

homeless and likely worn hard was he

 

I couldn’t help but to take the notice

his features hewn and deeply lined

Drawing a map of where he'd been

red eyed he looked half blind

 

Something alone in his vacant stare

said It was me that he resembled

The thought had taken me a-fright

I looked hard, long and trembled

 

I saw my lover look over him too

noticed the hair might be the same

Except for straggling beard and decay

I had felt a deep sense of shame

 

Could that be what would happen to me

what fallen angel had led him astray

A nightmare vision of life’s full truth

eyes of pain in the heart they betray

 

Then my lover looked back upon me

her thoughts she sought hard to repress

How kind those teared eyes that hid the truth

from her lips that would never confess

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Author's Note

An introspective mirror of myself.

Reviews

[Shelly Braen]

This piece holds unmaginable beauty! The seasoned timelessness of such a beautiful, yet solomn journey through the eyes of such a man, yet the thought that they might be yor own looking back at you from the differences of eras. How could a person be more beautiful than the man sat in front of you. Wonderful! Simply wonderful!

[Magdelena]

When I was young my grandmother used to say an expression when she passed someone less fortunate than her, 'There for the grace of God go I'. I always wondered on that. Then whem my children were born, I found myself using those same words, and hear them do the same..

We sometimes see ourselves in others.. Your piece was brilliantly done in such a way that the man you were looking upon, you somehow imagined yourself being him. I found your style magnificently done. Powerful in such a way that one was able to feel your words. Close their eyes and invision what your were saying.. A hard feat ther my friend, for not may have that gift! This piece was the utmost joy to read, and one that will stay with me in thought for many a day to come..


Thank you so for sharing!


Magdelena xx

[linley{luu}]

Wow, this is a very powerful piece. Very strong imagery. This is the kind of writing that makes a person look at their own life, and think about how they want their future selves to be.

Very strong words, very emotional, and very, very well written.

=)
Linley

[mia!mia]

The train car tapped out a lullaby beat......that was the best! do you liten to atmosphere or sage francis? man you write like you were an MC in a past life. lol i really liked this poem because, to me, it told three stories. form your girl's, to the homless man, and to you. but in such a short time. BEAUTIFUL!

[Austin Smith]

I had to read this again to understand it. It was very deep, and I enjoyed reading it.

[Scout]

wow i could so see everything! gosh you amaze me you are so good with description!

[wolfshrew]

everyone should humble themselves by really taking a deep look at what they are and could be.
this was a greatly poetic little story

[Jessica M.]

Let me first say that I love the theme. Maybe a tangible love is simply about excepting the things that might come to pass, the people we might come to be. The movement in the train is exquisite. "The train car tapped out a lullaby beat." Damn. Beautiful line. The image of that is just so vivid and peaceful. "Lush fields of emerald green" for some reason seemed a bit expected to me. I'm not particularly sure if it works or not. I just didn't think it was imaginary or entrancing enough for the moment. The third stanza didn't seem to fit with the rest of them. It's tone was different. The way the words ebbed and flowed throughout the rest of the poem made it stand out as choppy. But maybe that was your intention: for the poem to get a bit messy upon seeing the man and what might happen. An ominous future cloaked in wrinkles. If so, I want more of that. I want him to pop out of the page at me. Lovely, lovely, lovely concept. Very nice write.

[Stacey Watts]

What a very beautiful piece. You are quite a well versed artist. This piece was very emotional and self reflective. It is truly something I wonder if we all do at times. Staring into life to see where we are going or where we have come from. Excellent piece. Thanks for suggesting the read.

[ABitBrokenPoetry]

sometimes we can glimpse pieces of ourselves in others, some pieces we don't want to see, & with it comes a sad realization. this is a wise, deep, & thought-provoking piece. gorgeously written, with amazing imagery. the way you describe this old man, how you felt looking at him is darkly beautiful. you have a wonderful way with words. brilliant work.

[Lunar Lightning]

This is very good, I very much enjoy reading your writing.

Luna