Tin Man

it is such a strange thing to be human

 

 

I hear the rhythm of the rain

wind-whipped drops falling to the ground

Tapping on the old window pane

there's music in that lonesome sound

 

Skipping through the morning shower

daisies covered by mist in dew

Calm and warm so tame with power

life springs forth all fresh and anew

 

Watching the world's sins melt away

gifting life with the chance to be

Feeling the sun light up the day

washing the blues away from me

 

Like the man built solely from tin

with a chest full of broken dreams

The rain falls softly on my skin

nothing quite the way that it seems

 

Watching the clouds that turn to rain

falling on the glass by and by

They run down from the window pane

before the grace of you kneel I

 

Author's Note

Such a metaphor for my own life the tin man. Often I am right as rain. Moments later set by depression and doubt. Then the rain comes washes away the blues and I am fine again. The sun comes up and shines upon me again.All my worries pale in consequence.
Tate

Reviews

[TrimarcoRansome]

Hi Tate, After having a break I find this easier too read...Sometimes when you have been working n your own work it's hard to get into a different rhyme, so my fault not yours! I was going to add to my original comment but it seems it has been deleted?!

[Tate Morgan]

Hi dear. I suppose your trouble with the rhyme is the first stanza the one and only time i can remember using a similar rhyme .

[TrimarcoRansome]

Hi Tate,
Yes I think it is, how about around/round instead of down?

[Tate Morgan]

I like that see what you think

[TrimarcoRansome]

Yes! That is so much easier to read now! Really flows and takes you straight into the rest of it

[Tate Morgan]

thank you you were correct i think

[TrimarcoRansome]

Don't rely on me! do what you think is right, I have been working on several pieces of writing recently and it can get stuck in your head sometimes!

[Tate Morgan]

I like your thoughts and respect your opinion. You are classically educated through the English system .

[gimpy]

this write was rely amazing I think that the rain cleanses us all of our worries and pain but allowing us if just for a moment to forget the world

[Samuel Dickens]

Thank God for the cleansing rain and warming, re-invigorating sun, huh? I think it's true that us creative-types feel things a little stronger than others, so it's no wonder that after soaring so high, we dip so low. I get taken by the blues sometimes, but just like you, I eventually see a spark of light and follow it to its source.

[emmajoy]

Somewhere over the Rainbow is (probably) my favourite show/film, I know the lyrics of all its songs, know and love its characters. The tin man is never quite sure, never very sure, never sure .. one minute up, one minute down - he's spent his life looking but never sure if he's found what he's looking for until ..

Your poem extends the tin man into seeing more, seeing what CAN happen when things are right .. the heart's there, waiting to function at the right moment - if he can find it and he wants to

[E. A. Fielder]

To me when you talk about looking out your kitchen window its almost like when you watched the rain you were reminded of dreams you had lost.

"Feeling the sun light up the day
washing the blues away from me"
These lines are a bit confusing. You are saying the sun is lighting up your day and washing away your troubles but I think the last line needs to be revised. I'd say try something like

"Feeling the sun light up the day
The rain washes my blues away"

That was the only problem I found with the poem. Also I guess the poem to me says that, like the tin man, the rain makes you rust and you feel like your lost dreams have made you feel immobile but in the end the rain is really there as a reassurance that in the end the sun will come out and the negative feelings were washed from you and the pain has dried away. That is my personal interpretation of the poem. Well done!

[Christina May Shanaberg]

I love the Tin Man. You sound like you are alot like him, resilient and able to bounce back. This poem reads easily and gets its point across well. I like it!

[Luna Northstar]

wow. i love this! its beautiful! breathtaking and memorizing. amazing write!

[kayla garcia]

i love it

[Fran Marie]

Rain is so refreshing and indeed washes the spirit anew and calms the lonely

hurting soul ~ this poem is quite lovely in its rich imagery and metaphor of life

very interesting to read a poem so well crafted~

Superb Pen! Tate!

[Devons]

The last two verses are beautiful and say everything about what this poem means.. (at least to me)
The most significant lines being these:-

"So like the man built solely from tin
With a chest full of broken dreams
Rain falls softly on my skin
Nothing quite the way it seems"

..The sound of rain upon the window pane echoing the sensation of rain upon tin skin.. Is it feeling the way it should, is the feeling different from before, will the feeling be different tomorrow..? It asks and perhaps suggests answers to these questions merely by asking them..
A very skillful and smoothly-textured (no pun) piece of writing, and another tender examination of the human soul...

[WeekendWriter]

As I have told you before, I am not a fan of poetry, but I love your work!! I certainly hope you have thought about taking your work to a more professional level (if you haven't already done so).

Beautiful!!