Entrancing Pull

Watching from afar, observing feline eyes

The kind that pierce through the darkest of realms

Finding him wandering paths of dismal forestry

Lost in the decay of emotional turmoil

Raising his head, gazing in my direction

Penetrating my soul, freezing my breath

Smiling in a way that would greet a friend

Motioning me forward to join in his trudge

Slowly floating in the direction he occupies

With racing heart and mind entranced

Hypnotized by motives lingering in his heart

Curious of surroundings that seem to elude him

Fingers entwine mine with an encouraging tug

Eager to lead upon cobblestone devastation

Pulses of longing vibrate on my flesh

As I abide to the pull of his leading to nowhere

Frostbitten branches graze through his hair

Painted with blackness, shining like demon blood

Flying in the wind as it whispers in his ear

Guiding me to hellacious places unknown

Frightened at the lack of resistance, my lack of control

Allowing this stranger to kidnap independance

The force that drives me through the light living within

But shadows engulf me as he captures my morals

Loveless intentions forsaking me, deserting me

Leaving heels over head at the allure of this incubus

Carrying my spirit to a side of immortality

The sector of sleepless nights and bloodshed calamity

Author's Note

Please feel free to be as constructively honest as you wish. Any suggestions or corrections are much appreciated. Do not rate or review based on opinion or subject of this piece. If you would like the favor returned please send me a read request or a message with the piece you wish for me to review! Happy writing :D

Reviews

[Rocans]

Wow, your word choices are excellent. Your descriptive ability is impressive. Many great lines in this, hard to really choose one. This one was well done Briana, congrats.

[Briana O'Connor]

Thank you :D

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

A crafted piece that tells the reader to be on guard, well written and thought out, good read.

[Briana O'Connor]

thank you :D

[stars are far]

that was so well done, the flow was great... well done

[Briana O'Connor]

thank you :D

[Christopher Robin]

Briana,

I know I've been harsh on your work in the past. To be honest I have to say this is one of your better pieces, though it suffers from being a little too languid. The level of description, whilst good, is unnecessarily over the top and - I hate to use the word, but 'flowery'. This is oozing talent but lacking so much originality (as does everything like this since Twilight unfortunately), I'm begging you to take that talent and find something that you really personally identify with and write something that will blow us all away. It's killing me to see the skill behind the writing not shine through in the writing itself. I know you can do this. On a positive note, cadence is almost smack on with this piece, great flow.

-Robin

[Leslie Philibert]

The picture reminds me of my boss.., but to be serious I like this, a poem from the horror/Poe/Gothic area
with loads of good lines...

[Briana O'Connor]

thank you :D

[R Smith]

'Pulses of longing vibrate on my flesh' love that line and love this work of satanic vampirism, see you on the dark side Briana, somewhere in the wild, wicked woods, (cue wild laughter), lovely stuff :)

[Briana O'Connor]

Lmao. See you there :P

[Relic's Bare Trees]

The intensity here seems to be of a sweet declination that only the dark one can administer. Vamps have a special way about them don't they. A delectable write for this October month.

[Briana O'Connor]

Thank you so much :D

[MomzillaNC]

This is a very fluid and macabre write. Well done.

NOTES:
2nd line, 1st stanza: I think it should be "pierce"
1st line, 2nd stanza: "Raising"

[Briana O'Connor]

thank you momzilla. I always get raising and rising confused when I write on account when I say raising it comes out as rising lol For some reason I can't say that word :P

[MomzillaNC]

We all have these little mental glitches. For years, I kept trying to spell "guard" as g-a-u-r-d.

[Einstein Noodle]

ooooooooo! nicely done .. too many vampires stalk the unwary .. nice timing with Halloween just around the bend .. i could smell the dank decay of leaves in the first stanza .. the image of movement but no movement gives substance to his unsubstantial being .. the conflict between what one knows and what one desires creates that vampire sex that leads to tragic destruction of soul .. you poem gave it all to me .. enjoyed the ride!
E.

[Briana O'Connor]

thank you so much :D The funny thing is when this idea popped into my head it had nothing to do with vampires, but as my fingers typed away I was suddenly writing a chilling tale of being sucked into the allure of a wandering blood sucker lol :P

[Einstein Noodle]

oh boy! hope you have some garlic nearby!! ;)
E.

[Briana O'Connor]

well...I just ate some pizza..do you think that'll help?

[Einstein Noodle]

perhaps .. was it authentic Itialiano?

[Briana O'Connor]

lol no pizza hut

[Rana]

A chill-endowing quality this poem has. Dark, thrilling, absorbing, delightful, and cold. He was successful right, the bite, the transformation, i hope ur fine lol.

[Briana O'Connor]

Lol I think I'll survive :P Thank you for reading.