A Poem by Moth Phoenix

It's another version of something I had to do for creative writing.


She casts such a thin shadow,

behind the eyes of those around her.

She speaks loudly what she wants to say,

but it only comes out a whisper. 

She's like that one last ember to die,

hanging on to life more than ever. 

She cries but no one sees,

she laughs but no one cares.

The full moons in her eyes are now waning,

while she's stuck fading.

She knew she'd have to face this horrible fate,

to see her one true mate. 

"I've looked for thee and now you're here" 

"I have come for you my dear" 

the words she longs to hear,

tangled in the web of life,

through the stars of the universe. 

Such a lonely girl she stands,

casting such a thin shadow.

She longs to take in ones true grin,

but hides like the little chameleon. 

© 2013 Moth Phoenix

Author's Note

Moth Phoenix
I would like to say that those who have read and reviewed, and liked this poem, thank you! When I presented this in class, absolutely no one liked it. It means a lot :)

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well crafted poem...but one question I had was why it would be a horrible fate to see her one true mate?

"I've looked for thee and now you're here"
"I have come for you my dear"
the words she longs to hear,
tangled in the web of life,

this feels like wonderful longing...not a terribly feared outcome...

She seems like a wallflower...unnoticed...inconspicuous...blends into the background like a chameleon...yet she's longing for her one true love...resigned to worship from afar to use an old cliche...

I would suggest having us feel unrequited longing instead of consummate dread or insecurity...which I do feel...if this is your intent, then the poem works for me...

Posted 10 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Beautiful poem!! I can't believe no one liked it! It spoke to me deeply. Especially the part:
"The full moons in her eyes are now waning,
while she's stuck fading."

Posted 4 Months Ago

You could be more subtle i bet

Posted 5 Months Ago

Not Alone
Hello Chameleon, dost thou not know ye to be visible to me?
Tis me, the one dost think of when you think ye to be alone
You ponder our meeting an ill fate in fear I not like which ye think I do not know

On the contrary, you of that I do follow quite well
Pardon my intrusion but it's quite impossible to no longer permit you to think you hide alone
You think you may not know this sudden awareness, but I am with you always

I decipher your mood by your moves
I see your colors when hiding from others and still I follow you every step
You think I will fear you should you finally decide to acknowledge me, your mate

You see, I know you so well, most would now be frightened
You, a colorfully hidden rainbow is merely curious
Whenst the sun shines brightest you can easily see me . . .
sadly you only think of our ill-fated meeting whilest I am the nearest to you

Stop turning around to find me
You are going to faint and fall down, on top of me
This is when we are the closest

Per your skill of hiding from others
Your insight is as cunning
You rolled to your side, hello glad we finally meet

I like your smile
Your seeing me finally and knowing I am here makes me happy too
Hello Chameleon, I am Shadow.

Posted 7 Months Ago

No one liked it? Are you sure? I think it's nice. Well done!

Posted 7 Months Ago

I can see why no one likes it complete dogSh*t

Posted 8 Months Ago

Moth Phoenix

8 Months Ago

Is this an ironic comment? xD too bad I can't add a laughing emoji
The dark Hydra

8 Months Ago

Yeah no emoji here very sad, I would have used the sit emoji
i think this is fabulous.

glas to read your writings again.

Posted 8 Months Ago

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This is a good poem so I don't know why people wouldn't like it. I would recommend studying the difference between abstract and concrete language. People tend to like concrete language more.

Posted 5 Years Ago

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I love this because it describes how I've felt for years growing up this is a really relatable piece =]

Posted 5 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I adore this poem! Reading it hit home because I can relate to it strongly.

Posted 6 Years Ago

This poem is absolutely amazing! its a favorite of mine. so much truth to this.p a pain that is smeared over our lives. plaguing
poisoning the most gentle of hearts
turned into stones

Posted 7 Years Ago

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40 Reviews
Added on September 14, 2010
Last Updated on August 3, 2013
Tags: lovely, alone, invisible


Moth Phoenix
Moth Phoenix


Hello there stranger! Thanks for checking out my profile. I'm just some girl enjoying life one song at a time. Drop a review if you'd like, or a comment! more..

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