Chapter Nine : The Therapist

Our therapist touches on the intentions of adults versus the needs of children.

After hearing about the orphans story and relationship, I came to an eye opening conclusion. We, as a society, assume that all orphans want is a home and a family, no matter what cause it takes to gain that home. Instead of putting children in a home environment they would be happy with, we put them where we think they’ll be suited best. We tear up families, friends, and futures to put these children in “suitable homes” but, what exactly is suitable?

Obviously, when talking about suitable, we are not discussing where the child would be the happiest. To us, Joshua and Annabelle’s suitable home would be anywhere with a roof and safety procedures that are followed as they should be. We believe safety, education, and a sense of authority is the key to these kid’s happiness and future lives. To Joshua and Annabelle, a suitable home is both of them staying together; however, we never asked the children what would make them happy. We see them as items with an agenda, instead of beings with feelings.

The apparent fix to this solution would be to get them adopted as a pair. The only problem with this is, the chances of a teenager getting adopted are very slim, let alone two getting adopted. Teens in an orphanage or foster home are often seen as troubled kids and are frequently judged for their lack of family. They are often called delinquents and usually have a few marks on their record for things like theft or fighting. The sad part of all of this is, their delinquency is not their fault, but our own.

It all goes back to society not paying any attention to what the child may want. These teens are smart enough to know that if they were to be sent to a home, they would be separated. They are grown up enough to understand how society works and how they will be treated. This, consequently, causes them to steal and fight with others to obtain things like food, water, and shelter: the necessities in life. We force them into this series of criminal like acts because we think we know what’s best for them, when we, in turn, obviously have no idea.

This pair has one of the strongest sibling connections I have ever seen. Through their trials and “criminal acts”, they have formed a bond that we cannot even begin to completely understand. I f we cannot understand the bond these two share, then how are we to ever understand what is going to be best for them?

As adults, we jump to the conclusion of “these children are too young to understand that we are trying to help them”; however, the real problem is we are too old to understand that they are trying, with desperate measures, to help themselves. They, like this pair, are going through everything and anything to keep their happiness, because they know it can be taken away in the blink of an eye, and we are the only ones who can take it away. That’s exactly what we’re doing.

If these little orphans have taught me anything, it’s we should not meddle in something we do not clearly understand. Trying to help frequently makes things worse if you’re not willing to completely take into account the feelings of the being you’re trying to help.