chapter 1

sashas starts seeing the need to move on

Chapter One

 

Derek brushed a blonde curl away from her face.  The look in her crystal blue eyes said it all. It told him how much she loved him, how much she longed for him, how much she missed him. In one look all the months of missing him were transferred into his beautiful brown eyes.  Eyes that held just as much love and longing for her.  A tear slipped over the edge over her eye and he reached up and wiped it away with his thumb.  Taking his thumb he wiped it on his cheek, transferring her tears to him.

“Mommy” she heard the voice calling faintly, from a long distance.

“Mommy” the voice came again, closer this time, more insistent.

“Mommy!” this time the voice was sharp, demanding her immediate attention.

Sasha reluctantly opened her eyes and turned her head to look at the cherubic faced four year old standing beside her bed.  How she hated to leave her dream and wake up to the cold reality of the empty bed beside her. 

Sleepily she muttered “good morning, Dalynn”

“G'mornin, Mommy. Time to eat.  Barney is on now.”

Their morning routine revolved around what show was on.  Dalynn woke her up when Barney came on.  Unless dragon tales was already on, then it was chaos time.  That meant Sasha had to wake up Dalynn and the morning was off to a rocky start.   During dragon tales it was time to get dressed and pack up for daycare.  Then it was time for Thomas the Tank.  That one Dalynn didn't like so they did there bathroom stuff then. After that was Angelina Ballerina.  As Angelina said goodbye, Dalynn grabbed her coat and Sasha grabbed her keys and they headed out the door.

It was a routine that had started in the weeks following Derek's death and continued because it helped Sasha maintain structure with her active four year old.  She was doing it on her own now and every little thing, she learned, helped tremendously.

“OK, do you want pancakes or lucky charms for breakfast?” she asked

“Umm,” Dalynn tapped her little chin with her finger, much the same way her mom did when deep in thought. “Pancakes I think.”

She took out two pancakes she had frozen over the weekend and put them in the microwave. “One minute, kiddo” she smiled to her daughter. Dalynn smiled back. The timer beeped and she them out and put butter and syrup on them and cut them up.  Handing them to her daughter they grabbed hands for a quick prayer “Dear Jesus, we thank you for the food you have provided and help it to fill our bellies. Bless us as we go about our day.”  She started to end the prayer but Dalynn broke in

“And bless Daddy's day in heaven.” “Amen” they said together.

They moved through their morning routine with clock like precision.  Everything timed down to the second.  With the familiar strains of the Angelina Ballerina theme song playing they gathered up their things.  Dalynn headed to the door as Sasha turned off the TV.  Taking a deep breath she opened the car door, said a quick prayer, and got ready to face the day outside the four walls of her home.

 

 

Kylie smiled as Sasha walked in the door of the small shop they owned together.

“Good morning.  You are looking a little more like yourself today.”

Sasha gave her a weak smile.  For the first time since Derek passed she had taken a little time with her appearance. Not a lot, but today she had left her long, blonde hair loose and flowing around her shoulders. She was still wearing her standard jeans and T-shirt, today's a simple black one that shared her somber mood. She hadn't dressed up for work since the day she heard of Derek's death. 

“Morning, Kylie.  I guess it is time to start realizing I didn't die in that car accident with Derek and join the land of the living.” tears filled her eyes. She tried to hold them back, but realized it was useless.  The streamed down her face as she talked “Oh I miss him so much, Ky. I still dream about him.  I wake up thinking he is going to be beside me, that he is just in another room and he will be back any minute.  I go to bed and cry myself to sleep.  Why did God have to take my husband?  And then my baby too? That is the hardest part I think.  If I had my little one this would be easier.”

“I don't know why, Sasha. I wish I could give you the answers.  But I do know that even if Ian had survived, this wouldn't be any easier. And I think you know it too, deep down.  You really want to know why God didn't take you too. Isn't that the question you have been afraid to ask?”

Sobs shook her body as she nodded her head. Kylie just wrapped her arms around her and held on until the storm passed. “Sasha, who would've taken care of Dalynn if you were gone too? Who would have been her mom? What would she have done if she lost all her family at one time?  What would that have done to her future?  Right now she has lost her Dad and her baby brother, and she only has part of you.  But she will survive because you are there. But would she have if you weren't? Pull yourself out of the fog for her.  Let yourself live again, for her.  Build your life again, for her.  Besides, would Derek want to see you living like this?”

Kylie looked at her best friend in the world, knowing what she said had hurt her. She also knew it would start the necessary healing in her heart. A slight smile played around Sasha's lips as she thought about the man she had known most of her life. “No, he would be really ticked off at me for behaving this way. Crying like a teenager.” she smiled “ He'd say ' Sasha Maria Dane, stop your blubberin’ and grow up for goodness sake.  There's lots of livin' to do and your just the girl to do it'” Both girls laughed, releasing the tension between them.

Kylie gave Sasha a knowing grin “He always used that line when he thought you had cried long enough about something. I know you think your life ended when he died. But he would say it didn't and so do I. You have a lot to do yet.”

Sasha leaned her head back against the wall “I know you’re right, I just don't want to move forward.  It's like saying it is ok that he is gone. That I don't miss him anymore.  And that isn't true.  I miss him just as much now as when the doctor came in and told me that he was gone.  Maybe even more.  And I hurt for Dalynn. I know what she is missing out on. If I move on it feels like I am saying it is all ok.

“You’re not saying it is ok that it happened or that they are gone.  You are just saying it is ok that you are alive.  That it is ok that you have a life.” she told her. “That is what moving forward is.”

“It isn't going to happen overnight, but I promise that from this day forward, I will take a step everyday toward that direction.” she smiled.

“Ok. Can we start with your wardrobe? I've gotten complaints from customers.  They don't like the new employee I hired, you see, and they want that gorgeous blond who used to dress real  nice back.”

Sasha gave her a playful slap “Point taken.  Tomorrow I will wear attire appropriate for here.”

Here was a quaint little gift shop nestled in the cliffs overlooking Bluffs Bay on the Washington Coast.

They sold everything from $0.25 seashells to $1000.00 paintings.  The only thing necessary to be sold in their shop was that it had to be made by someone from Bluffs Bay or come from Bluffs Bay Beach.

When they opened K&S Rarities 5 years ago they started with some of their own work and the work of a few friends in a small coffee shop.  In six months they needed to open their own shop and had over 25 vendors.  Now in their fifth year they were in their third building and had 75 vendors.  They were considering opening a second store at the beginning of the summer season.

One thing that the customers liked was the homey atmosphere and the professionalism of the staff. Sasha and Kylie worked hard to maintain a respectable look and to be set apart from other business in the area that went 'beachy' in appearance. And they had been rewarded for that.

Until recently, Sasha always dressed in a business manner.  But lately, she hadn't cared. Nothing had mattered to her. She had even taken a month off from the business. During that month she had lived in her pj's.  Kylie had brought her breakfast, taken Dalynn to school, brought her home, and fixed them dinner.  It was Dalynn's unruly behavior that had snapped her out of it.

The day passed quickly and soon it was lunch time. “hey,” Ky shouted from the back,  “do you want me to JJ's and grab lunch?”

“Is it that late” she asked, glancing at her watch.

“Yep. Actually it's past that time.”

“Yeah, you go while I finish hanging theses new paintings of Jenna's” The paintings were beautiful. Using bold colors, Jenna Franz painted beautiful beach sunsets, always stirring a longing in Sasha to walk into one and wade in the water.  Maybe that was why she had one in her bedroom and one in her living room.

She smiled, remembering her first meeting with the short feisty artist.  Jenna had walked in, carrying a canvas, looked around, nodded her head at a few things,the approached the counter.  “You take artist commissions? She asked, straightforward in her approach

Sasha had been a little taken aback “Hello,  yes we do, if you are a local artist.”

“Well, I live in Rock Creek, do you consider that local?”

“Local enough.” she grinned. “Can I see your work?”

“You have to approve it?” she questioned in a cranky voice.

Sasha adored the spitfire of a woman. She was 70 if she was a day, and if she was over 5' she' sell her business. She was one of those women who knew her own mind and let the world know it.

“Yes, actually, we do have to approve it.  We have a very picky clientele and I know what will sell and what wont.  To make it better for everyone involved.  If I don't think it will sell, I don't except it.”

“Well” she grumbled “ I suppose that makes sense. Here”  She uncovered the canvas she brought with her and set it on the counter.  Sasha gasped. It was absolutely stunning.  And it would sell quickly.

“Ok, we take a 30% commission fee. If that is too much then there are other stores who charge less, but they don't get as much traffic.”

Jenna's eyebrows came together. “Can you guarantee a sale?”

“Well, no, not for sure.  But I can say, I know several of our clients who will be very interested in your work.  If you are interested I'd like to start with 10 canvases to show.  And I'd like to make sure we always have 8 on hand. So we would need 15 to start you off.”

This time Jenna's eyebrow's shot all the way up to her hairline, “15? I don't have 15 done. Are you crazy?”

“Jenna, just what were you expecting when you brought your work in?”

“I don't know.  That you liked my work. And you would take what I had.”

“That is what I'm saying, Jenna.”

“But I only have 8.”

“Ok, then I will take 8, and keep 1 here as an example of your work and people can commission your work.”

“Commission my work?”

“That means if they like your painting, they will request one directly from you to paint at a price you quote them. It also means they can request what size they want.”

“Ok, that sounds like a good idea. Do we shake on it.?” She asked, used to the old fashioned way of doing things.

“Oh, Jenna, I wish things were that simple. We have to draw up a contract.  It will state everything that we have talked about.  And that you will supply us with as many canvases a month as you can. I'm not going to set a number, because you are going to be very busy after people see your work. How much do you want per painting?”

“Do you think $75. is too high?” she questioned quietly.

Now it was time for Sasha's eyes to raise to her eyebrows. “Actually, that is way to low. I was thinking between $350-400.”

Jenna gasped “Each painting? You think they are worth that much?”

“Actually, I think that is what they are worth right now. Later they will be worth much more.”

Jenna's eye's lit up. “you really think so?” excitement crept into her voice.

“No promises, Jenna. But based on my experiences, I think so.”

Jenna grabbed her over the counter, and hugged her, with tear filled eyes.

 

Reviews

[Saddam]

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It is very wonderful write here.