Break-up.

The next morning I woke up after a perfect dream. Good thing my brother wasn't there,he would have attacked me about it. 

 

Drew was in it,of course.

 

We were in the snow again,just sitting in it.But I wasn't cold,because he was there,as warm as he was,the snow didn't melt though. That was something I wanted to ask him...

I got up and went downstairs. My brother was on the couch in front of the tv,doing his homework.He always waited until last minute.

 

"Good morning,you sure are up early." it was only nine.

 

"Yeah,can't sleep."

 

"The reason you can't sleep is coming to pick you up in an hour,so get out of here." he laughed when I screamed and ran up the steps.I peeled off my damp clothes that I'd fallen asleep in and got in the shower,letting the water run down my back and face,washing my hair and rinsing it out thoroughly. I stepped out 20 minutes later,and went to get dressed. I pulled out dark skinny jeans and baby blue cashmere sweater with a v-neck and a pink cami lace cami.

 

"Zac! Where's my Uggs?" I yelled.I had 10 minutes left and I was rushing to finish straightening my hair.

 

"Under your bed!" he yelled back.I laughed.

 

Pulling them out,I put them on and quickly applied a small bit of blush and mascara.

 

I really need to end things with Brent before I did anything else...

 

I called him as I was walking down the steps.

 

"Hello?"

 

"Hey,can we talk later?" I asked. Sounded stupid,I mean,I was the one that called him anyway.

 

"Yeah,why don't I come over?" he asked.

 

"Uh,I'm leaving.So just come around 5 maybe." I said.

 

"Okay,I'll see you later then. I love you," he said.

 

"You too," I lied.I shook my head free of guilt and went into the living room just as Drew knocked on the door.I answered it,and he smiled.

 

"Your up early.I thought I'd have to wait." He still looked adorable.Christ,how did I ever manage to get a guy this gorgeous and sweet?

 

"She's never up early,you've just witnessed a miracle."Zac walked in.We all talked for a while about when I'd be back,and I told him that Brent might be by at five,and to stall for me if I wasn't back.

 

"Your leaving him here?! With me?!" Zac whispered fiercely.I nodded apologetically.

 

"I'll try to be back before then!" I whispered before running down the snow covered steps.Drew smiled and opened the car door for me.Bring Me The Horizon was on when I got in.

 

"You don't like it?" he asked.

 

"No,I love them.I just didn't know you did." I said. He laughed and nodded,smiling.

 

"What's your brother doing today?" he asked.

 

"Oh,I don't know.Maybe with what's her face.I never know who he's dating anymore."

 

"I think her name's Cecily or something." he laughed.

 

"Who knows? The other week it was like Esperanza or something." he smiled and shook his head.

 

"At least he doesn't cheat on them or anything,right?" Drew drove down the street.

 

"He never has." I said.I sighed as I thought about my cheating on Brent.Drew noticed.

 

"What is it?" he asked.

 

"I cheated on Brent." I said. Drew pulled into his driveway,turning the car off. He turned towards me,looking right at me.

 

"With me.I'm sorry,I shouldn't have..." he said.He sounded sad.

 

"I...I don't regret it,Drew.Don't be sorry." I touched his arm,and he looked up. It seemed impossible for such a beautiful face to look upset,but his did.

 

"You don't?" he asked.

 

"I don't." I smiled at him.

 

"I won't do it again,if you don't want to." he said.

 

"I don't mind." I was nervous to say this out loud,it was admitting I liked him,but what did I care?

 

"Well,I won't until your not dating Brent.I don't want you to feel guilty for something that I did." he shrugged and we got out of the car.

 

"What if I do it?" I said hopefully.He smiled down at me,his eyes sparkling again.

 

"Then I'll just help you." he said.I took his hand in mine,and we walked in the house. His mother and sister obviously weren't home,it was very quiet inside. His dog came running down the stairs,a huge lab. It jumped on me,barking,and I rubbed it's head,talking to it.

 

"Your the first to not run from Lacey," he said.

 

"We used to have a boxer,so she's small compared to him." I said.Lacey got bored and walked into another room.

 

"You want anything to drink or something?" he asked. I followed him into the kitchen.

 

"Water." I said. He smiled and handed me a freezing cold bottle out of the refrigerator. I heard a small noise and looked where his fingers had been on the bottle. It wasn't even clouded over on the outside anymore,it was dripping water.

 

"Drew?"

 

"Hm?"

 

"Why are you always so warm?" I asked. What,was he some kind of strange creature that I shouldn't be around? 

 

"I'm cold," he said.

 

"No,your always warm." I showed him the bottle and he shrugged.

 

"I [i]feel[/i] cold,most of the time." he took my hand and led me up the stairs to his room. His hot hand on mine felt strange,because my hand had just been freezing a second ago. 

 

We walked into his room,and I gasped. All four walls were black,covered in paintings he'd done,and pictures were everywhere,even on the floor.I looked at his glass desk. There was a black Nikon camera,the ones serious photographers used. I walked to a wall,touching it.

 

"This...this is amazing.Did you do all of it?" he nodded,turning on his iHome and putting a black iPod into it.Quiet acoustic music filled the room.

 

"I can't believe it. It's..it's unbelievable." 

 

The drawings seemed to come off the walls. There were landscapes,faces,random objects,eyes,anything. He had cd album covers tacked on to the walls,and the ceiling was black,covered in white stars,which I bet anything he'd painted himself.

 

"Not really." he said. My mouth dropped open.

 

"Yes it is! Do you know how much you could do in your life with your talent?" I said. He came over to the window where I was,sitting down on the bed. He shook his head.

 

"I think I'm losing it."

 

"You can't lose your talent.Your born with it."

 

"No,it's just...I'm not as good as I used to be."he said. I sat down beside him,and he held my hand.

 

"How?"

 

"I used to see something worth drawing or taking a picture of in everything.Now I barely ever see it in anything,and I hate that feeling." he shrugged and looked at the walls around us. I didn't see what he meant.It was all so surreal.

 

"What have you been working on lately?" I said. He leaned down and pulled out a huge canvas,covered in green,gold,and blue paint.He held it out in front of us.

 

"Do you know what it is?" he asked.

 

"It's someone's eye." I said simply. He just stared,slightly letting go of the painting.

 

"How did you know?" he asked.

 

"Because,your eyes are those exact colors." 

 

"You noticed?"

 

"Of course." I said. He set the painting beside us,and looked at me,like he was searching for something. I touched his face,pushing his hair out of his eyes. He was nothing like Brent at all.Before I knew what was happening,his hands were on my waist,his mouth on mine.I never wanted him to let go. If I had to stay in any position in the world,this would be it. He bit down a little on my lip,moaning himself. I took off his jacket and pushed him backwards gently. 

Suddenly,I stopped.

 

"This is so,so wrong.I'm so sorry." I said quietly.His eyes were closed and he shook his head,then nodded,then shook it again.

 

"I'm..not." he sat up,pulling me with him.

 

"Do you want to be with Brent?" he asked.

 

"No."

 

"Do you want to be with anyone?" 

 

"Yes."

 

"Who?"

 

"You."

 

"Then it's not wrong,completely,right? I'm a bad person,aren't I." he groaned and I shook my head.

 

"I'm the one being bad,not you." I whispered. He shook his head again.

 

"No,it's my fault." we argued back and forth for a while,before I gave up.

 

"It will all be over at five.As this evening,I will NOT be,in any way,associated with Brent." I said. All I really wanted right now was for Drew to kiss me again,but I knew he wouldn't because he felt guilty.

 

"Is it wrong of me to like that?" he said.

 

"Not at all." I said. I kissed him lightly and he held me there,kissing me back softly.

 

"If this is too fast for you,I understand,I-" he started to say,but I shook my head.

 

"It's what I want." I said. He nodded.

 

"It's what I've always wanted." he said quietly,blushing. Never had a guy done that in front of me more than once.

 

"Zac clued me in on this." I laughed. His mouth dropped open.

 

"It's okay!" I said.He smiled and rolled his eyes,resting his chin on my head.I leaned on his chest,and he put his arms around my waist.

 

Is this what love felt like? Like you never wanted to be with anyone but that person?You were willing to follow them everywhere,and do anything with them? Or for them?

 

Because that's how I felt.

 

Until my phone started ringing.I cursed under my breath and checked the caller ID.

 

"Don't answer it," Drew breathed in my ear.I couldn't resist that voice.I dropped the phone on the bed,and went back to my happy place.

 

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The day went by way too fast,and when I woke up,it was six. I gasped. My brother was with Brent! I checked my phone,Brent had called 10 times in the last hour.

 

"Drew.Drew!" he woke up,rubbing his eyes.

 

"I have to go.Now."

 

"Why?"

 

"Brent is AT MY HOUSE!" I jumped off the bed and Drew did the same,grabbing his car keys.We ran down the steps,getting in the car. He sped to my house,and I groaned when I saw Brent's car.

 

"How about we burn it?" Drew said,trying to make me feel better. Outside,snow fell constantly,harder and harder as the seconds ticked by.

 

"I wish." I opened the car door,wishing so badly that I could kiss him a million times goodbye.

 

"I'll call you tonight,okay?" he said. He didn't look happy. I nodded,touching his face before I got out.

 

"It'll all be over soon." he said as I shut the door. I smiled weakly at him before running up the steps and opening the door.Drew pulled out and I shut the door.

 

"He's upstairs.Jesus Christ,what were you two doing?!" Zac hissed at me from the staircase.I said a quick sorry and ran up the stairs. Brent was walking out of the bathroom.

 

"So,where have you been?" he asked,hugging me. I pulled away quickly.

 

"With a friend."

 

"Huh.Sounds...mysterious." he laughed and we went into my room.I wrung my hands as I thought of a way to break up with him nicely. Who was I kidding? Nicely doesn't cut it!

 

So I just came right out with it.

 

"I can't be with you anymore,Brent!" I turned around and stared at him. He stood there looking surprised.

 

"What?"

 

"You heard me."

 

"Yeah,but what?"

 

"What?"

 

"Why can't you?!" he asked.

 

"I just can't! Okay? I can't.We're not working out.It's not working for me." I wanted him out of my life as fast as possible so Drew and I wouldn't feel guilty anymore.

 

"Is it the school thing?Or sex? WHAT DID I DO?" he asked. 

 

"You did nothing.Nothing. I just..."

 

"You what?"

 

"I don't love you." I said quietly. He stepped back a bit.He really did look hurt,I realized.

 

"You don't...?"

 

"I'm sorry,Brent,but we're too different." I said.

 

"That's what makes a relationship." he said.

 

"Not for me.I'm sorry." I whispered. He nodded.

 

"There had to be something I did."

 

"No,Brent.There really isn't.We just don't match up. We never did.You'll be good for someone else,but not me.Not me." he just stood there,like he was about to say something,but couldn't. I walked over to him,hugging him. He hugged me back,not saying a word.

 

"Do you hate me now?" I said.

 

"No,I don't.I still love you,believe it or not." he laughed a little and let me go. I stood there watching,as he walked out of my room,down the steps,and out of my life for good.

 

Well,the worst was over.