Crazy stare

 

Familiar me walks around with Crazy stare.

Feeling numb, avoiding the feelings of my own lair.

I burned my own chair, perhaps life is never fair.

 

In the river of eyes, I am nothing but a prince of fools

Passing by as if I look cool.

But that's okay, I don't mind,

as long as I am true to my own kind.

 

Sigh!

 

 

Author's Note

I always thought that I am ugly, but I really wonder why people do stare or I always felt their stares at me. As If I am weird in their eyes, as if there is something wrong with me. I can't shove out the feeling of negativity in their eyes. sigh...

thank you for reading my piece, a special thanks to Pax for helping me on Rhyming.

Reviews

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

Oh, Lord! You really take me back. When I was in middle school, I had a crush on this boy named Chris. For the life of me now, I can't imagine why; but back then, he was everything.

I'll never forget ... one day in the cafeteria, my friend and I had gotten our lunch, and were at the table about to sit down. Angie set her tray down first, pulled out her chair, and then, sat down. I had pulled out my chair, had tray in hand, and was in the process of sitting down. Unbeknownst to me, she was joking around and had pulled the chair out from underneath me.

As you can imagine, I went down, a*s-first, to the floor; and my tray clattered like church bells on a Sunday morning, resounding loudly throughout the whole cafeteria. The next thing I heard was the loud cacophany of laughter, as every other kid in that cafeteria busted out laughing. I was never more embarassed in all of my life.

As I looked up, in that whole sea of faces, I only saw one - laughing and pointing and joking with the rest of them - CHRIS! I could have died on that spot at that very moment. OMG! How I wanted to die!

This affected me for years. I remember times when I'd, say, be walking through the mall; and I would hear a group of girls laughing; and it would automatically send me spinning back in time to that cafeteria. I just knew they were laughing at me.

When I turned to look, however, they didn't even know I existed. It was all in my head, a reflection of my own lack of self-confidence, the fear of ridicule that had been soaked into my skin in a second.

I can feel the contradiction within yourself, and I think what you're seeing in the eyes of others is really but a reflection of what you are feeling. Our lack of self-confidence wills negativity onto others, but it's not necessarily true. For the most part, I think that people are too busy, wrapped up in the hustle and bustle of daily life, to ever take notice of anyone else; and in those rare moments when they do, the thoughts are so shallow that you couldn't even dip your baby toe into them.

The trick is to be confident in yourself and to worry about what you think about yourself. If there's something you're unhappy with, do everyhing within your power to change it. No one has more power than you to make you happy.

[captain]

Your words makes me glad and encourage me more to win the battle within. Your shared experienced is quite relateable, many times of my life I had been laugh at to the stupid mistakes I had done. That thought lingers around that I become the loner I am today. Most of the time I become shy and distant to others. Now I am trying to change that, winning the battle is crucial to be a better person I could be. I am highly grateful with this, thank you very much.

[Michelle N. H.]

You are beautiful just as you are, and so is everyone else. Some may think differently, but that's merely because they're not aware of the fact and that's alright. Hold your head up high, just love.

[captain]

thank you very much, Michelle. That really is a warm review, I really appreciate your encouragement.

[Michelle N. H.]

You're so welcome :)

[MAC]

maybe it is a study in human nature and your nature is of wonderment. whatever the case you are made to perfection and are always the perfect you. excellent write captain

[captain]

wow, that's really very kind of you, sir Mark, thank you very much.

[Tate Morgan]

It is a universal feeling we all have and wonder on The need to be accepted
Respectfully
Tate

[captain]

Indeed, Sir Tate. I valued respect so much, if they don't I simply ignore. Thank you so much for this great visit and review.

[Tate Morgan]

You are welocme sir My pleasure

[I Am Svetlana]

First off, I adore the title of this write! I can relate to this because I don't seem like I am prettier than most girls around me and am often self-conscious about how i look or act around others. If I walk past certain people and I hear them laughing a few seconds afterwards, I feel them looking, criticizing me. Judging me when I don't even know them, they not even knowing any part of me. More or less, my life. Though, I feel we all have our own opinions and thoughts about who we are and how we carry ourselves...I sometimes think some people are too tough on themselves. We have to learn to embrace who we are, be comfortable in our own skin, our own personality and be who we were born to be. We shouldn't try to change ourselves in order for people to accept or notice us. There's no point to that.

[captain]

your so right on the spot, I feel the same Svetlana not that I am a girl, its just that we can't help but think why people might laugh at us as we passed by, I find it odd and the disturbing thoughts comes rushing. I don't want that, often time i do ignore but many times its hard not to think about it. I do am trying to be comfortable in my own skin, to shine the personality of who I am, not to be afraid of what people might say, because this is me... hope you too Svetlana, and thank you very much for you thoughts and share experieinced.

[Coyote Poetry]

A interesting poem. Real writers have their strength and weaknesses. The best writers were consider crazy and odd. Sometime we may feel odd and crazy. We are just trying to fit in. A good poem. Open the door to a long and good conversation. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[captain]

All my life trying to fit in is always a great challenge. Thank you so much for sharing your interesting thoughts Sir Coyote.

[Brianna Brie]

I like the idea of a crazy stare, your own lair and burning your chair. It all makes me wonder about the writer.

[captain]

Thank you Brianna, This is the life I am always wondering with people's crazy stare whenever I pass somewhere familiar. This is based on facts and I am glad you are liking the idea of the piece and about me as well. I appreciate the visit and review so much!

[Sami Khalil]

I have not visited you dear friend for a while(my bad) but I thought about visiting you and found you are still excelling in your work...A very nice , rhyming poem...Bravo..................

[captain]

It's Ok Sami, the thought that you still remember me, makes me glad to be your friend. Thank you.

[Sami Khalil]

I always remember my friends...You are welccome any time. We need Pax too...:)................

[captain]

in FB, I try to convince him to come back, but I guess he's not yet in the mood. The cold holidays makes him edgy. But he did help me in this piece, he helps me a lot on the rhyming stuff on which I am not so good with.

[Sami Khalil]

Wow. Good to know...You are welcome...:)......................