Generational Spread

(how times have changed)

When I consider Alice and Martha

I am reminded they dwelt in days

where open displays of affection

for offspring were frowned upon.

My great grandmothers appeared distant

stayed aloof. Without doubt I respected

their age and wisdom but truthfully

even though they were both kind

as well as refined, I was a trifle afraid

of them.

I cradle my new born great grandson 

within my arms, completely charmed

by his tiny frame, his shock of thick black

trace of a wave hair and windy half smile.

I raised his father and for a while

I reflect on how quickly the time has gone.

Twenty five years grown, he towers over

me, his son cushioned on my knee while

a sense of deja vue filters through.

I give thanks that we as a family

are far more open, unafraid to express

our emotions, unafraid to show that we

care for each other in times of happiness,

or despair and that stiff upper lip of yesteryear

is lost like daydreams in wafer thin air. 

Reviews

[cheyenne summer garcia]

that sounds like a lovely life you have. i could day dream of a couple close friends and together times myself. i am alone a lot of the time. i do not express my feelings extrovert very often. mostly simple cheekt talk. passerby. but when i have those moments of realization and wholeness i feel more and more healthy and safe.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you for your visit to my page. Pleased to see you here. I was most interested in your thoughts.

Chris

[cheyenne summer garcia]

well done. is writing your hobby ? i am a fan of yours. would like to see more. good work.

[Chris Shaw]

I certainly love poetry. Delighted to have you as a fan. I have many poems posted on this site if you would like to read more. Really appreciate your visit. Thank you.

[cheyenne summer garcia]

you are welcome. keep up the good work.

[Jimmy Yetts]

Meaningful and quite lovely reverie.
The older generations gave what they could; our ancestors, apparently,
took it for granted that their children and grandchildren knew
they were loved. But we've come to understand, children need more.
Love just wafts from this elegant, heartfelt creation.

[Chris Shaw]

Yes, I think you are right, they took it for granted whereas we don't. We do have a better understanding of the needs of children. Thank you Jimmy for your valued thoughts.

Chris

[Ralph Proenza (Docralph..]

Nicely done, Christine. I get the sense of the passage of time interleaved with love of family. Good writing.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Ralph. Welcome to my page. I appreciate both your visit and your thoughts.
Chris

[DIVYA]

Perhaps, it was the time they lived in...those were different times with different ways. I have a feeling they loved as much as we do but just were conditioned that way.

Loved the contrast in then and now that you brought out and the radical difference in how we relate to our families now.

Congratulations on your great grandson Chris! That’s the most wonderful news in this awesome poem.

[Chris Shaw]

Yes DIVYA, I am sure they loved as much as we do, they just weren't as expressive with their feelings as we are these days. I can't imagine what it would be like, not to really hug your children or cuddle up to them. It was very much the stiff upper lip in the time of my great grandparents and to a certain extent with my own grandparents. They just held back with all emotions, not just love but grief and sadness as well. Pleased that times have changed. One of the changes which I am convinced is for the better. Thank you so much for your thoughts.

Chris

[DIVYA]

You are welcome Chris...I would like to relate this stiffness, as we call it to that very strange and morbid kind of practice in Victorian Times...that of Postmortem Photography...looking at that really disturbed me out...Maybe you could write about it some day for us...

[DIVYA]

I meant they were emotionally so contained in those days that they could go through that kind of photography while it was so evident that they were breaking inside in those moments.

[Lorry]

And Alice and Martha can be heard in a whispered, haunting echo "Still hasn't learnt that little girls should be seen and not heard, and now she's writing bloomin' poems about it! I do despair." 😀
Some elder generations were a little bit mad with the stoicism, learnt from their parents and too locked into a dickensian way of thinking to ever harbour any true hope of freedom and equality. So they put up with living emotionless lives and pass it on, until slowly the cycle had its gas put on a peep and feminism was born with those long held in thoughts, screamed in unison to whatever poor sod crossed their path, when they ever so gently stated "now just you wait a bloody minute, theres gonna be some changes around here and youre not gonna like any of them. Sit down and shut up, now... Point 1 of 18006, hit me again and I'll cut you in your sleep... No 2 of 18006..."
Sometime soon after, men went to the pub and stayed there.
And now look at the generations that followed, chalk and cheese and night and day.
I would gladly buy a ticket to see scientists sending a hen night from newcastle back in time to the long, long ago, drink the pub dry and spending the next 6 hours persuading a little more equality with their fists.
Ps... Right on sister.

Pps... Please don't hashtag me 😀

[Chris Shaw]

It's all about balance, and the scales have shifted. I like equality. When all is evenly balanced it can work well. The feminists have upturned the applecart. Those hen nights in Newcastle, scare the life out of me. They want to do them bigger, better and more outrageous than the boys. Poor Grandmas Martha and Alice would think they were in a war zone. I'm related to Elizabeth Garrett Anderson and Millicent Fawcett Garrett, two of the early suffragettes. Both very famous women down here. I think they would turn in their graves at some of the stuff being done in their name!

[Lorry]

I agree and know better than too push my luck. I haven't been punched yet, sn no further comment and it's a win win for all 😀

[Chris Shaw]

That's a good place to be. We can all take an ear bashing every now and then though :))

[Marie-Louise.]

Such a lovely poem, and so true. It is a lovely time to be a gran when you can show your grandchildren so much love and in return they will love you too.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Marie-Louise. I really appreciate your lovely review. It is wonderful being a grandmother. All good wishes.

Chris

[Dave Brown]

I think it was different times back then
There seemed to be a more formal approach to rearing children
I got very little overt love from either parent
Thank goodness that has changed
Love and enjoy your family
lovely poem

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Dave. Pleased you agree with me and see that the changes have been for the good. That formality made people appear distant.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i especially like the "trace of a wave hair and windy half-smile.."
classic description there.
And yes, that generation and even my parents' generation....much more reserved with shows of affection...i think we need that affection now....we need the expression...and to back each other in the bad times as well as the good.
such a positive write for today's generation to grab hold of.
j.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Jacob. So appreciate the positivity you saw in this write. Times have certainly changed and I believe for the better. A hug is like a breath of fresh air.

Chris