Friends With Benefits

(extra protein included it says)

nod nod wink wink

we all know how that works

do we not

those who haven't got time

for commitment who want

a spot of the other

you scratch my back

i'll scratch yours

quite happy to get down

on all fours for a lust in

without the love

well i've found something 

new, bars with benefits

and i'm not talking pubs

for times when i'm starving

when i'm fantasising

over grub

now my digestive system

has turned fairy

and i can't tolerate dairy

but instead i read on the

wrapper, i can eat natural

yes i'm totally free and easy

i'm going nuts 

Reviews

[barleygirl]

This poem scatters my synapses in five different directions. I love how you compare the old adage of "friends with benefits" to bars with benefits -- the implication being that tasting a person (or people) & then returning the morsel to the candybox for a possible later nibble -- this can be just as complicated as dealing with food allergies! It's never as simple as "friends with benefits" makes it sound. By the way, I have a dairy allergy, but I can eat a little bit of dairy spaced out over days, here & there, as long as I don't overdo it, then I won't have a bad allergic reaction. The problem is, I ignore the warning signs that I'm overdoing it until I finally have a full-blown anaphalectic response. Which is worse? My throat swelling up in pain & my gut screaming in protest . . . or living without cheese? It's a close call. I sympathize with your going nuts. (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Chris Shaw]

You too Margie have a problem with dairy. Mine is only an intolerance not an allergy, so I am not likely to suffer too badly if I make a mistake. am sure I will come to terms with it eventually but right this moment in time it is driving me nuts when everything I want to eat is not on the acceptable list. Thank you for checking in.

Chris

[emmajoy]

'.. you scratch my back - i'll scratch yours - quite happy to get down - on all fours for a lust in - without the love .. '

That hints at a little of what does you good or evil - wrapping or not, Chris! Can only guess that present goings-on allow for the right ingredients. Of course, helps to know the most reliable manufacturers - but, avoid anything reAd, is said to be poisonous. Fun post, with the inevitable food for thought but, perhaps advisable to keep Gaviscon or anything else available over the counter really handy. Smiling all the way to the sourdough, now.. ..

[Chris Shaw]

Friends with benefits not quite to my taste but certainly bars with benefits are. Really struggling with cutting out all dairy from my diet. Seed and nut bars have become a replacement for biscuits and cake. Thank you Em for visiting this little piece of whimsy and humour.

Chris

[emmajoy]

Surely seeds are for the tweety birds, nuts give you indigestion: better to sit in a local garden with a few friends plus twice as many bottles and - know you don't have far to crawl.. :)

[Chris Shaw]

You are probably right there :)

[emmajoy]

Not o ten adamant b ut, know so! :)

[Einstein Noodle]

ahahahaha going nuts are ya!? :)))))) sex and food ...what fun! .... sorry for your newly discovered restrictions, Chris ... i have been pretty fortunate in life ... NKA ... nuts (unsalted) have always been a healthy choice .. if you buy them in the shell .. even better, i'm told, as one has to work a bit to get the treat. ;) enjoyed your light hearted "Friends With Benefits" .. first read this morning and you put a smile on me face.
E.

[Chris Shaw]

Thanks Mr E. I needed to write something light hearted to compensate for my change in diet which I am not finding easy. All the stuff I like, I have had to cut out. I couldn't stop smiling when the label on these replacements said bars with benefits. I'm sure they are. Full of nuts and seeds :))

Chris

[...]

By the title I was thought it will be some British political satire. The food can be same like our friends some of them are natural and some of them artificial . Snack bars can be good for hiking when you are exhausted but I will not eat them on daily basis . Like good friends good food need time and lot of love and compassion. It was nicely humorous poem with great metaphor.

[Chris Shaw]

So pleased Poet you appreciated the humour in this piece. Cutting out dairy from my diet has been tough. I am starting to like nut and seed bars more though.

Chris

[...]

For my breakfast i have usually raw oats or roasted oats with yoghurt or cottage cheese with some fruit berries. It's very full fill healthy breakfast and can keep me run all day long . When were visit Isle Skye we tasted Cranachan with is oats with cream and raspberries and cream. I member it was very delicious . Anyway i wish you all the best with new diet and hopefully you will get more fresh energy . Humour is very important at our lives without it we will fall to easily it's our saver when times get thought .

[Dave Brown]

very funny
I had trouble with dairy, milk, and 'ice cream' and we are doing the vegetarian thing with oat milk.
We seem to be slipping a bit but are definitely doing things differently now
Various nuts all part of the package

[Chris Shaw]

Hello Dave. Pleased you appreciated the humour here. I am using soya milk, but missing ice-cream, cheese and cream. Takes a bit of getting used to. I'm sure I will survive :)

Chris

[Lorry]

*****TRIGGER WARNING***** 😀
Just to let you know, I was thinking of your recent dietary enforcement as I had a double helping of my birthday cheesecake Chris 😀
OUCH! That nearly took out my eye!
😀

[Chris Shaw]

You are lucky you are up there in the highlands or you may well have received that kick in your lowlands Lorry :) Literally being driven nuts at this moment. I'm sure I will get used to it. You know I really like cheesecake.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

this is such a clever write...and a humorous look at what is often such a frustrating situation that occurs when we must change our diet for health reasons.
j.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you my friend. Pleased you appreciated the humour in this write.

Chris