Living Things

there the clock strikes midnight’s hour
in my garden lovely fair
honeysuckle’s fragrant flowers
wild like Amy’s unkempt hair
trellised on a red brick wall

back to black the velvet night
clear and balmy heaven knows
love the living while you can
the reaper waits so do the crows
that peck upon a fallen deer

here my thoughts drift to that sight
of a carcass in a lane
how earlier during the day
my beating heart felt pangs of pain
for a creature’s shortened life

dim the light upon the grass
orange blossom petals sigh
heavy over graveyard pets
echoes from the past goodbyes
children’s tears run down my cheeks

love living things on earth’s rich crust
too soon they crumble turn to dust

Reviews

[W. Barrett Munn]

Chris,

I'm having a little rhythm problem reading this and to my sense of rhythm and ear it is mainly due to a line length that doesn't want to play nice with your message, which then causes extra words to be tossed in that are not contributing. To clarify, I'll just show you what I mean in stanza 1.
Here is one option:

there the clock
strikes midnight’s hour
in my garden fair
honeysuckle’s flowers
wild like Amy’s hair
trellised on red brick

here is another option with longer lines:

there the clock strikes midnight’s hour in my garden fair
honeysuckle’s fragrant flowers, wild like Amy’s hair,
trellised on a red brick wall and tangled in dense curls.

These are just my thoughts. As you know, if I didn't like the poem I wouldn't comment on it. I'm just expressing how it struck me.

Winston

[Chris Shaw]

Dear Winston, I am always grateful for the interest you show in my work. I have read carefully your suggestions, but I can’t hear my own voice, as I would when I read my own lines, but I do appreciate always your thoughts. Thank you so much and have a great Sunday.

Chris

[Stella Armour]

How melancholic Chris.
something so beautiful and full of grace should be so ugly after death :(
yet the rotting husk was only ever really the earthly covering of the essence of its spirit ..
Yes, when children lose their pets is often the first realisation that love lives on after they cant see them anymore ... lots of room for thoughts about this one Chris ;0

[Chris Shaw]

Many Thanks Stella. So pleased this little poem has generated so much thinking. I always feel sad when I see road kill or otherwise. There species arrived before our own. It must have been safer without cars. Enjoy the day.

Chris

[Stella Armour]

we have a lot to answer for sadly :(

[E.P. Robles]

The poem begins with the striking of midnight's hour, a significant moment of transition and mystery.

The garden described is "lovely fair," indicating beauty and harmony. The presence of honeysuckle's fragrant flowers suggests sweetness and allure. The comparison of the wildness of the flowers to "Amy's unkempt hair" adds a touch of unpredictability and perhaps a hint of passion.

The image of the honeysuckle trellised on a red brick wall can be seen as a symbol of the intertwining of beauty and strength, representing the integration of opposites.

The red brick wall may also symbolize boundaries or barriers that one encounters in life.

The transition to the next stanza brings forth contrasting images.

The "back to black" line evokes a sense of darkness and mystery. The "velvet night" is clear and balmy, suggesting a serene atmosphere. Here, you introduce the theme of mortality and the urgency to cherish life. "Love the living while you can" emphasizes the transient nature of existence. The reaper and the crows symbolize death and its presence, waiting patiently.

This poety introduces thoughts then drifts to a sight of a carcass in a lane, which stirs the speaker's heart with pangs of pain. This evokes a sense of empathy and the recognition of the fragility of life. The poet experiences a profound emotional response to the sight, reflecting the interconnectedness of all living beings.

The next stanza introduces the image of dimmed light upon the grass and orange blossom petals sighing. This imagery suggests a sense of fading or loss. The mention of graveyard pets and echoes from the past goodbyes evokes a contemplation of mortality and the weight of grief. The children's tears running down the poet's cheeks highlight the emotional impact of loss and the vulnerability of youth.

The concluding lines emphasize the importance of loving and appreciating living things on Earth's rich crust. The inevitability of their eventual decay and transformation into dust serves as a reminder of the cyclical nature of life and death.

In the context of Carl Jung's ideas, this poem explores themes of individuation, the integration of opposites, and the recognition of the shadow aspects of human existence. The poem invites reflection on the interconnectedness of life, the transience of existence, and the necessity of embracing both joy and sorrow.

Overall, this poetic piece combines elements of beauty, mortality, empathy, and contemplation, creating a tapestry of emotions and ideas that resonate with both the poet's tradition and the psychological insights of a person that understands life and love.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you EPR. Just amazed at your in-depth reviews. I just write the poem, you turn it into something else altogether. Have a good Wednesday.

Chris

[E.P. Robles]

So glad you liked the review! Returned from Utah the other day and I need a break! Did Bryce Canyon, UT and also Zion National Park. A LOT of hiking up and down. I'm not a spring chicken any longer and I feel it! :)

[duff]

Walk slow through a jungle of bright life.
"back to black the velvet night"
I really like that line. Nice work Chris.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you duff. Always good to have a visit from you. Have a great Wednesday.

Chris

[Sharrumkin]

Good imagery. I especially like unkempt hair trellised on a red brick wall and crows that peck upon a fallen deer.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you so much for your words Sharrumkin.

Chris

[Gee]

Hi Christine. I often wonder whether animals are missed by those they leave behind when mown down by us always in a hurry humans!.
A lovely poem that trips of the tongue.
Hope Sunday sees you well

[Chris Shaw]

Sunday has been good Gee. Hope the same for you. Many thanks for the review. All the best.

Chris

[S.zaynab.kamoonpury]

Wow loved this new form and the urging to love everything on this earth.
A beautiful poem and do those flowers bloom st night? Kudos for your fab muse so artistically written.!
Plz also read and comment my newest poem too

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you zay zay . Hope you and your family are well my friend of old. Pleased you stopped by today.

Chris

[Sharrumkin]

Tennyson influence in sonnet type structure. Some good imagery i.e. the crows that peck upon a fallen deer.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you. I have read many Tennyson poems. I appreciate your thoughts.

Chris

[Sharrumkin]

Keep it up Chris. Poet is a long lonely road but like a fine wine it has an intoxicating flavor.

[Chris Shaw]

It certainly has :)

[Sharrumkin]

By the way. My favourite Tennyson poem. Crossing The Bar. Do you know it?

[Chris Shaw]

I do indeed

[Sharrumkin]

My personal favourite.

[Lorry]

The younger self remembers the pain of seeing first hand that the "all things bright and beautiful" you grew up with isn't necessarily the rules that govern all life and nature is a brutal mistress.
Who amongst us can't picture that younger you bawling her eyes out at how unfair life and living was to that poor creature.
Your words are enough to make a glass eye tear up Chris.

[Chris Shaw]

Many thanks Lorry. It’s all part of the circle of life and even though I understand that, it still saddens. My other half says I am a southern softie:) He may be right.

Chris

[red93]

Really Fabulous Chris, and shades of the Great English Romantic Coleridge's midnight meditations. Excellent ✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Tony. You are always so encouraging with your reviews. Have s great weekend.

read moreThank you Tony. You are always so encouraging with your reviews. Have s great weekend.

Chris