A Walk through my Mind

Come with me take a walk through my mind

Tell me what you see, tell me what you find

Close your eyes, rest your mind with ease

Peaceful, like wind brushing against trees

 

Only when lost in our deepest dreams

Are we able to find what we choose to not see

Soul searching for years with no explanation

Seems like destiny is eternal damnation

 

Far from the truth that we so much desire

Like lighting up the sky with hearts on fire

 

Don’t reach out your hands you must tread alone

Like prying a King from the seat of his throne

Do you see the darkness buried inside? 

The hate and pain that wastes an innocent life

 

Destructive thoughts are hidden by deceitful bliss

Days are wasted when I sit and reminisce

Are you surprised by how dark my thoughts are? 

Surprised how I’ve managed to hide these scars?

Come with me take a walk through my mind

Be careful what you see, erase what you find 

Author's Note

I started working on this a few weeks ago.... forgot all about it and came across today. Let me know what you think.... thanks!

Reviews

[silent poet]

Beautiful!! I loved it. (Only when lost in our deepest dreams
Are we able to find what we choose to not see) I agree!! and oh how fast your thoughts changed, that I didn't expect it went from light to darkness, from feel to fear to unsettling peace. (my perception). acceptance in what may be but lovely in a way with ease through ur mind.. I LOVE THIS , great work Aaron.. :) Aarons dark wonderland. (be careful what you see, erase what you find)

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you my friend... it's an older write but one of my favorites that I have done. I am glad you liked it :)

[silent poet]

very much so and as always a pleasure Aaron!

[Ilerah]

I enjoyed reading it, was well written and nice. I enjoyed the first part the most, but have no reason why. Love it again Aaron.

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you Ilerah... the first part is kind of creepy fun... I picture something like the American Horror story freak show with someone saying that... "Come with me, take a walk through my mind." :)

[....................]

Love the concept and the write, Aaron. If only we could walk through each others' minds I am sure we would leave with a greater understanding of each other. But, perhaps there are things in our minds that no one else could understand or live with. You have written this very well and I understand why you would want the visitors to erase what they've seen as there are some things we never want anyone to know.

[AaronFreitas]

If we could see into each others mind it would be a very interesting world. You are right... I would want people to see then erase so they understand who I am and where I've come from. Thanks for your review FT

[SleeplessVolcano]

Wow....this is so captivating! The invitation, beckoning, to enter hidden chambers, but also the warning, that what may or may not be found, will not just be honey dew and butterflies! You have captured so eloquently our feelings about the dark alleys of our minds......and how often we may smile on the outside, but be dying on the inside. To invite someone inside, is not only a brave action, but also shows a level of maturity - an understanding and an acceptance of one's often shape-shifting identity.

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much.... it's one of my favorites that I have done because of the concept of coming into my mind to see me for me :) Thanks for your review

[Kelly Scheppers]

Such a welcoming, to sit and get to know you for a while...to not be distracted by what has hurt you, or inflicted pain too dark to conceal.

It's good to write something, then let it steep for a while, then go back to it with a new perspective. I do it all the time.

Thanks for the voyage, Aaron!

[AaronFreitas]

Thanks for the review Kelly :) I liked this one my friend... appreciate your review :)

[Larq]

Aaron-I really find this piece fascinating. The narrator, (you?) seems to want to make the person entering his mind feel comfortable...(Close your eyes, rest your mind...peaceful like the wind...) but yet wanting to share the pain that has been a burden for so long. To me, this symbolizes a kind heart with a tormented soul. When he asks if the "mind walker" is surprised, I sense that he wants to feel acceptance. Asking the person to erase what he/she sees---a plea to not have his past held against him. Intensely emotional piece...well done.

"Only when lost in our deepest dreams-are we able to find what we choose not to see." Love this!

[AaronFreitas]

Awesome review... you really nailed it on the head! I agree with everything you said.... and yes me the narrator :) Thank you soo much for your kind words.

[I Am Svetlana]

I feel it'd be quite an honor to walk through someone's mind. I've always wanted to write a poem like this and love how you've worded and arranged this. I get scared seeing my mind come alive on paper every now and then, the thoughts I have...but this is a beautiful write, very inspiring!

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much! This poem also started with just the thought "come with me take a walk through my mind" then it evolved into what it is. Thanks for the review :)

[Bonaventure Onuabuchi]

Nothing else to say except the fact that you'ved penned well! The rhyming delight even more.

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you Bonaventure! I enjoy rhyming and the flow when I rhyme... of course as I read it back to myself it all makes sense haha.... thanks for the review

[Gee]

What an interesting experience that would be.A fine write Aaron

[AaronFreitas]

Thanks for the review Gee :)

[Gee]

My pleasure Aaron

[Miyana Sparks]

This poem hit me right in my feels. Eveyrbody has a dark side and choose to hide them, and it takes great difficulty to open up to others. And once you do that, there's a chance of them being by your side or leaving you forever. Great poem, good job! I loved it :)

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you for the review Miyana :) Beautiful name by the way

[Afraa]

First off, what an outstanding title. It has been a while since I read a powerful piece with such elegant rhyming. The font is relaxing, which is perfect for the piece, so I give you credit for that. You have constructed quite a masterpiece, Aaron. My eyes nearly teared up at the beauty of this poem (excuse my sensitivity). You delivered a great message indeed, and these words are almost unworldly.

You impressed me, my friend. You should be proud of this piece, for it speaks for you.

[AaronFreitas]

Awww I you are so sweet! Thank you for your kind words... I think you made me blush a little lol read moreAwww I you are so sweet! Thank you for your kind words... I think you made me blush a little lol
What is kind of crazy is I started working on this piece and had it pretty much done but I needed to review and edit it. I forgot all about it and I happened to open my writing folder and got all excited when I opened it. I looked it over... made some adjustments and you get a piece of me :) Glad you enjoyed it and it's always nice seeing you on here :)

[Afraa]

Sometimes I read a certain piece, and I tell myself "Damn, why didn't I think of that?" Congratulations, for that happened to me while reading this piece!

Your're very welcome, Aaron! Looking forward to reading more of your work.