Reptile

Abominable cynic, like a
cyberspace mimic, like an
art house critic, always
hidden behind your walls.

Wireless royalty of
digitized fantasy
cocooning reality for
the greater anonymity.

Mechanical monkey throwing
s**t at catastrophe and
donning robes of iniquity
shielding emerald insanity.

Spitting hate in the wind
vomiting lies and sin your
hell won’t begin to
provide justice within.

Repugnant reptile gnawing
holes through security and
offering naught but
cryptological obscurity.
 

Reviews

[Collette]

Damn Damian, the flow in this piece is stunning. I could feel it! The language flirts with a whimsical, lyrical feel, which definitely adds to the vibe. I think you've done a fine job with this piece. It gets the point across without relying on heavy things to make the reader think. I'm thinking.....

These lines were a strong hook, quite possibly some of the best I've encountered:

Abominable cynic, like a
cyberspace mimic, like an
art house critic, always
hidden behind your walls

The sing-song quality makes that mimicing theme come to life. Excellent write, my friend. Although I didn't have to tell you that. :)

[Constance]

This is a powerful piece. I love the middle of line rhyme used in the first stanza or two and would have loved to see that worked into the entire poem. It made for a nice, different flow- a feel a bit unique. That's an idea I may play with sometime. Thank you for posting this wonderful poem.
C

[Gravedigger]

Very well done, you cold blooded monster you! ( a compliment.) very stabbing and provoking thoughts, especially

Wireless royalty of
digitized fantasy
cocooning reality for
the greater anonymity.

You really got my wheels spinning with that! I love your word choice.

[Dan Bullock]

How intriguing...feels like technology quite effortlessly merged with the beginning of basic understanding. Beautifully worded, rhythmic, suggestive and direct, great stuff!!

[flaneur]

The third verse, with its references to monkeys and emeralds, reminds me of the Wizard of Oz. There are some interesting implications veiled there, especially when tied to the Pink Floyd/Dark Side of the Rainbow version. Or it could just be one of those wind-up monkeys with the exaggerated grin banging cymbals on the street corner because its owner needs another dollar in the basket. Both are about glossing over reality with entertainment and promises that everything will be ok. Either way, I'd like to hear this recited out loud. I think the inflections chosen could easily alter the mood and intent of the piece.

[James Takeo Panton]

Loved it, pure and simple and beastly....

[radian7]

Interesting play with words. Impressive with a message

[Steve Thompson]

This was a great read, interesting style to better the delivery in the first stanza, love it. Well Done

[[untitled]]

I'm am just loving this piece - the flow is excellent helps emphasize the concept of what you are saying with an undeniable sting with each word written .

[shadadakiya]

well that was cool and for sure different than any ive read in a while great craft (: