Transit of Venus

This is probably silly but I had an idea of chaos within our solar system. The close relationship between the Sun & Venus and the protection of their baby (Earth). It can be taken a few ways.

Transit of Venus

On the other side

As the war split the world in two

I let go of your hand and said "Goodbye" to you

I saw your heart

Drifting into the battlefields

Leaving scars that would never heal

From the underside 

My heart ripped my chest in two

Leaping out to come after you

Not far behind

The moon and neighboring stars aligned

Joining forces to be by our side

Just on the edge

Of the gap in-between the world

The moon and stars gave my heart a hurl

It landed hard

In the warring side of the Earth

Drawing swords it began the search

Now guided by

The stars brilliant internal light

Your heart began to shine so bright

With swords in hand

It charged through the dark forces

And with our hearts it stabbed the sorceress

From the dark

I saw you coming back to me

And the stars returning to the galaxy

So from here on out

We will stay closer than we've ever been

Inside me you will hide if it ever happens again

Now,

We'll watch from afar

As she's born into the light

Her blue eyes will pierce the night.

Reviews

[s y e]

I really like where you took this one, Batman. I would never have thought of anything like this and the way you've written it and presented it is remarkable. You really are a very talented writer.

The story you tell in this poem really hits the reader and you do get your point across. It is something that I could read every single day and never get bored... Honestly amazing!!

[Chris Micha]

Awe Sye, you are so sweet my dear to say that. I am so glad to have your support and you've been a great friend my dear! :)

[s y e]

You've been a great friend to me too! :)

[just Penny]

I like the theme of celestial forms and get the metaphor of venus equating love, seemingly that ended horribly, but then was rekindled. But I think the sorceress bit was confusing for me. Is it that a third party perhaps caused a split so is personified as an evildoer? Something new and beautiful seems to be birthed in the cycle of the cosmos. It's definitely different and interesting :) Penny

[Chris Micha]

I had a had time with it too, but I couldn't come up with really anything else to express an evil invader. I just wanted an invader, like a huge large planet causing problems. If that makes sense...?

[just Penny]

Oh I see it now lol. thanks.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

universes collide, worlds collide and in time hearts collide then get separated because of the wars...but eventually return to each other, either literally or metaphysically in some kind of peaceful universe away from all the strife...

beautiful words, here...Christian.

[Chris Micha]

I am so glad you got it, Jacob. I knew if anyone would you would. I am honored, sir!

[Glass Heart Inc]

This is such a beautiful idea! How did you ever think of it? It's something really special and different. It made me kind of sad with the goodbye and the scars that wouldn't heal, and the heart ripping out to go after was so sweet and tragic.. and then I was happy at the end when it was alright and beautiful.. Well done :)

[Chris Micha]

Thank you my dear sweet friend. I am glad you understood where it was truly going and that means a lot doll! :)

[Glass Heart Inc]

Always a pleasure :)

[Lyn Anderson]

This is another lovely piece.

[Chris Micha]

Thank you my dear. I'm glad to hear that :)

[Emily]

I like the poem and the way you have the poem set up. Keep it up!

[Chris Micha]

Thank you so much, Emily! :)

[michele vera]

Such A Beautiful Poem. You Are Truly Talented. Your Poetry is Wonderful.
I Enjoy Reading Your Work Very Much. This is just another great work of yours!

[Chris Micha]

Michele, you're so sweet and I that you so much! :)

[michele vera]

You are very welcome Christian. Every Poem I read of yours is truly inspiring! You have tremendous Talent!

[Quill~]

A stellar poem... a sweet story of courage and love. Nice! :)

[Chris Micha]

Thank you so much, Quill. I appreciate it!

[ReneeJ]

This is good (as usual). You have the power to evoke the appropriate mood and It just always flows, never jumbled or always switching. Great Job

[Chris Micha]

Thanks, Renee. I hope it all made sense. Thank you for your support doll! :)

[Crystal Ellyson]

It is great. I love it. It is very creative. Great job!!!!

[Chris Micha]

Awe thank you so much, Crystal. :)