Initiation

Initiation

A Poem by clairvoyantmars

Young fledglings linger

Curiosity strikes a jolt

What test is there to find one’s self

In the depth of this darkened room?

 

Why must we reflect?

What is there left to ponder?

Snatched at birth, stolen self worth

Past this unlit gloom

 

No thought of us escaping

We know no other life

Trained to kill, unknowing still

Heed no other vice

 

Control your feelings, Master said

Pay the heart no regard

The power stands in the palm of your hand

Numb yourself and suffice

 

No glimmer of hope stands

We stop for no man

We find ourselves in darkness

Our thoughts are in unison

 

No hope…

© 2011 clairvoyantmars


My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Reviews

You show the mindset of murderers from their point of view; having been taught to keep emotions out of their existence. I wonder if true sociopaths ever experience a jolt of curiosity? Well, you do it for them or we would not know how their Master has indoctrinated them. Are we to show pity because of their lack of self-worth?

They may have no hope, but I do. I hope they get caught before they kill again for no reason that I read in your writing.

Excellent writing displaying a stark view into a societal sickness.

Posted 12 Years Ago


Writing that defines a writer how knows how to create a beautiful piece.

Posted 12 Years Ago


Dark and morbid, a truly excellent piece, well done good read

Posted 12 Years Ago


wow. I liked this one a lot.. i felt a lot of feelings in it, dark feelings... it was good i liked it.. actually i read it outloud to get a better understanding of it. Great.

Posted 12 Years Ago


without heart where is hope or light?

Posted 12 Years Ago


Wow. Even the way the words are strung across the page is reminiscent of being trapped. This is fantastic.

Posted 12 Years Ago


This poem has some great diction. The excellent word choice creates a atmosphere void of hope... nice work

Posted 12 Years Ago


Why are all good writers such manic depressives? Lol, seriously, I could not have done it better myself.

Posted 12 Years Ago


Wow, amazing piece. Love it!

Posted 12 Years Ago


provocative and compelling write, massive in emotion and revealing of the darker side of human nature, wow!

Posted 12 Years Ago



Share This
Email
Facebook
Twitter
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

628 Views
34 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on May 24, 2011
Last Updated on May 24, 2011

Author

clairvoyantmars
clairvoyantmars

Philippines



About
I've been seriously starting to write my own novels since 2008. So far, I've finished three novels and have a lot of unfinished ones piled up. I also write short stories and poems and the occasional s.. more..

Writing
The Past The Past

A Chapter by clairvoyantmars



Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..