Their Town

Tommy sits on the stoop cigarette in mouth

he takes a drag, sighs, breathes out

the stars are out tonight, but these are the suburbs 

they hide pretty deep in the clouds

Street lamps reflect the glitter in the asphalt 

and innocence lays on the other side of the street

He knew happiness left in August with the wave of red

and green and gold just doesn't cut it

this town's boring enough as it is

worse when you're missing them

Sara sits in her bed she watches him leave

he's notch number three this week

she didn't know him, but this is college

morals and values are hazy here

an empty bed in the morning is simple

anything else just gets too complicated, for her

she left all respect for herself in that town

it's easier than working for something

that will never amount to anything

while you're missing them

Morgan steps off the platform. Train's not leaving tonight 

she walks back wiping the tears she tried to fight

nothing's worse then feeling trapped 

in a place you love, but just isn't home

and every time she looks forward it seems

something pushes her back

She knew that town only brought hurt

but home is home and she needed it

nothing's ever as bad as it could be

especially when you're missing them

Reviews

[Tim]

This reminds me of something Tom Waits would sing about. It has a quality to it that brings the town's atmosphere into a black and white or grey color signifying discontent or a somber outlook. Nice descriptions and good poem.

[Wandering Violet]

Sad but realistic. Well done!

[RienKelsoCinema]

Impressive. I liked the use of multiple storylines inside a central hub (namely Their Town.) It seems to be a missing link inside of the heart that longs for something, or even something more.

[Larry Dyson]

Alluding to "My Town"?..He knew happiness left in August with the wave of red

and green and gold (tense)just (didn't)doesn't) cut it

this town's boring enough as it is

worse when you're missing (them?)

[Vinod Kumar U K]

Nice reporting of a seen with the closeup shots...

[Zexter]

Great choice of words, I love the imagery you portrayed in the first paragraph. Nothing sucks more than not being able to find home, huh?
Great work, keep it up.

[Misty Blue Eyes]

very awesome work..

[Chris]

Of the four I've listened to - this one is the best. Heart and pieces of you throughout. This made my pause worthwhile.

Chris

[Jeremy Baker]

You capture a sentimental, almost nostalgic feeling here - very well done!

[Brandon]

I love how you were somehow able to bring Tommy, Sara and Morgan to life without giving them flesh or bones. Regardless, they somehow had a heartbeat. It makes you feel like you're reading about a friend you once had.
The imagery, as usual, was perfect for the mood you had set. The glittering asphalt and the cigarette smoke caught in the streetlight was my favorite image.