She

She felt so much emotionally, she would say, that a physical outlet - physical pain - was the only way to make her internal pain go away. It was the only way she could control it.

Another day,

With it another tear that rolls down her eye,

As all her cries get lost…

In the noisy emptiness of the world,

And the deafening silence inside.

 

She’s an empty shell,

One more flame,

Burnt out before her time,

Battling the winds of the worldly crimes.

 

She once had the brightest smile,

Now just dark lifeless eyes.

Lost her spark to the world,

That broke her down piece by piece until only fear survived.

 

She fights pain with pain,

As cold metal presses against her skin,

Bringing out the warmth…

Her drug, to the raging tempest within.

 

Getting ready to cut again,

She looks back at the time gone by.

When a thought comes to her mind-

“What If I end my worthless life?”

 

With that in mind, she writes a note-

‘I love you mom, but I can’t take this anymore.

I hope I didn't die in vain…

I wish the world learns and bows its head in shame.’

 

And then she splits her wrists!

 

The last drops drip down,

Painting the picture of a wasted life.

 

Mumbling the words-

“Bring the motionless veil ‘O’ heaven”

She finally smiles, breathing her last sigh.

Author's Note

Okay, first I am sorry i havent read any of my read requests in a while.
Had an awfully busy month with exams and assessments.
Will try to catch up.

And this poem is inspired by cutters, who cut because they are not appreciated and are bullied!

All feedback is appreciated.
Thank you.
Enjoy.

Reviews

[Confuser]

Slice, Twice, Wrist, Knife, Life: Had to write those words before they disappeared from my mind, poof! I REALLY enjoyed it. You are quite a writer. I thought it was beautiful -excellent imagery and although a scary subject one I'm so glad you wrote. The world is so crazy and does drive kids to end their life. From the beginning to the end, it had my full attention. You painted quite a picture and I truly felt sad and could relate the the emotional turmoil of the character. Excellent imagery! I loved it! The reason I wrote the words above was because the line: And then she splits her wrists is great, but I do believe you can make it better. I hope you're not angry with a suggestion. I am so new to writing: I've only did this a couple of time and we don't know each other. And I just wish the words were more I suppose, quick, like she did, robotic, but with emotions. This is an amazing poem! I went back and read it again. You are a great writer. Thank you again.

[Angad Waraich]

Thank you so much for such a wonderful review. Positive criticism is always accepted and appreciated. Truth be told I have been trying to find a better suited line to replace the one you mentioned but nothing I come up with fits. So yeah! And once again thank you for such a generous review.

[Confuser]

Wow, thank you. Was very uncertain and nervous about writing a suggestion. Still love the poem. T/Y again.

[Sami Khalil]

"She fights pain with pain,
As cold metal presses against her skin,
Bringing out the warmth…
Her drug, to the raging tempest within."

[Angad Waraich]

Thank you for reading.

[Sami Khalil]

:).......................

[Isabella Disney]

This personally touched me. Thank you for understanding the concept of cutting as being brave enough to voice it

[Angad Waraich]

Thank you. sorry it took me this long to get back.

[Afraa]

... This poem is extremely powerful, and as you can see, rendered me speechless. A lot of girls can relate to this, especially when it comes to self harming. Therefore this sends a great message.

A masterpiece. I enjoyed reading, but admit, cringed a little on the metal part. Haha!

Beautiful job!

[Angad Waraich]

Thank you for such an amazing review.

[June Fowler]

It is beautiful Angad. I wonder if u had any friend of urs who went to this extent, its sad but true that todays pressure in studies not only in schools colleges but also at places where u work is soo much and there is always someone who would like to ground u unless ur not willing to get grounded, well I find the younger generation has much more to handle than they can cope with today so its very natural for anyone to go to this extent, still I think only the weak do this those who r tough get tougher with each passing phase in life, its sad some just cant take it any more!

[Angad Waraich]

Thank you so much

[alice3wonderland]

This is worded beautifully and it's really tragic that people feel they have to things to harm themselves this is a beautiful poem thank you for writing it!

[Angad Waraich]

Thank you.

[Wandervogel]

really nice...loaded with emotions.....

[Angad Waraich]

Thank you.

[Eleanor]

This is so packed with motions. And the red font in-between made it much better.
You expressed the pain so greatly. A few of the lines are perfect. This is a burning topic. People cutting themselves because its too much. The world has become so selfish, greedy and cruel that no one helps these beautiful souls. This has to end or we all would.
Great job!

[Angad Waraich]

Thank you.

[RAOrourke]

As all her cries get lost…
In the noisy emptiness of the world,
And the deafening silence inside...this part has a lot of emotion, I really enjoyed these lines

As cold metal presses against her skin,
Bringing out the warmth…
Her drug, to the raging tempest within...so vivid and filled with images of her emotions!


Very good poem, so vivid and packed with emotions, well delivered lines! Great job

[Angad Waraich]

Thank you for taking the time to read and review RA.

[hardeep sabharwal]

Painful and deep work, flows well and described well
thankyou for sharing a nice work

[Angad Waraich]

Thank you for reading and reviewing.