Thought

Thought

A Poem by CRZ

My destination is ahead of me.
So everyone I encounter,
Consider them a frienenemie.







Until proven otherwise.
Because others want to see you
make it to see your downfall
televised. 

© 2013 CRZ


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At my age I still haven't figured out why people likes this. But I think it may be jealousy.



Posted 10 Years Ago


I get the whole vibe of feeling that our success is so vital to us that when one is trying to break into an industry they may have difficulty trusting people because they don't know whether this person will help or hinder the progress that they have already struggled so hard to gain - it can definitely be difficult to know sometimes is people are being genuine or not.
Here are just some things I noticed that you may want to take a look at:
*spelling of "frenemy" or alternately spelled "frienemy"
Your use of periods in the first stanza, chops it up in a way that doesn't flow (in my humble opinion!)

Also this phrase:
Because others want to see you
make it to see your downfall
televised.

That second use of "see" in its position in the phrase and use doesn't flow to me entirely either.
One suggestion might be to simply eliminate the "see"
and have the line read as "make it to your downfall"
or you could also change how the lines are broken up, methinks.

Posted 10 Years Ago


some people are just too damned mean.....i still embrace my hippie lifestyle and credo....clever write.

Posted 10 Years Ago


The last stanza is brilliant.

Posted 10 Years Ago


last two lines are perfect ;)

Posted 10 Years Ago


It's really such a shame that some people do live for this sort of thing.

Posted 10 Years Ago


I completely agree with this.

Posted 10 Years Ago



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1083 Views
47 Reviews
Rating
Added on July 11, 2013
Last Updated on November 3, 2013

Author

CRZ
CRZ

New York, NY



About
Poet & Artist Thou shall not rest until I make my whole fam rich more..

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A Poem by CRZ



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