Chapter 3

Justin converses with Kate's family. They try to assure him that it's not his fault but he isn't so sure.

The rest of the funeral ended like a blur. I didn’t remember what happened after I took my seat nor how I got to the cemetery. I sort of remember watching Kate’s body being dropped into ground.
    I don’t know why the ending of Kate’s letter was such a shock. When her mother called me and said Kate committed suicide, I sort of assumed it was because of me. Or at least partly because of me. I didn’t expect, I guess, those words to come out of my mouth in front of everyone at the funeral.
    Hannah left after the service to make the long drive back to Los Angeles. I decided to stay in North Carolina for a while longer. I guess I owed it to Kate and her family and probably my family since they haven’t seen me for that whole year.
    A lot of close family and friends went over to the Larsons to show their condolences. I went. When I pulled up, the road was full of cars so I had to park my truck a few blocks down and then make my way to the house.
    All eyes turned towards me when they realized it was me coming. All the mumbles stopped and then started up again once I passed them completely. My parents stood with Kate’s.
    Mom was holding Mrs. Larson in her arms, trying to comfort her. It was Kate’s father who first noticed me.
    “Look who decided to finally show up,” he mumbled.
    Mom and dad looked at me next. Mom rushed over to me, hugging me tightly first and then slapping me as hard as she could with her purse.
    “Mom, stop!” I yelled quietly.
    She shook her head and then just sighed. That was all she could do. It was all I could do, too. In fact, I would have let mom hit me a million times more if I could. I would have let my dad come over to me with his disappointed eyes and just shake his head. But I couldn’t.
    So instead, I went over to Kate’s mom and hugged her. She looked up at my face with a slight smile.
    “I’m glad you’re hear, Jason. It wasn’t your fault. You know that, right?” she asked. “You’re a good boy. Kate was just troubled. Was troubled before you two broke up.”
    That should have made me feel better but it kind of made me feel a lot worse. She was troubled while we were still together yet I didn’t notice it. Was I that caught up in myself and my studies that I didn’t pay that much attention to Kate?
    No. That couldn’t be. Kate always came first to me. I took her out all the time. I spent all my time with her. I only studied when Kate went somewhere without me. How could she have been troubled?
    “Jason, it wasn’t,” Mrs. Larson shook her head frantically. “John, honey, tell Jason it wasn’t his fault.”
    “Let the boy believe what he wants,” Mr. Larson demanded.
    “Don’t listen to him,” Mrs. Larson said and pushed her husband away.
    I noticed Kate’s mom still hadn’t stopped crying. Tears streamed down her face over the stains of all the older tears. She gave me another hug and then brought me to an emptier room where we could be alone.
    “How are you doing?” she asked me.
    “Hanging in there,” I responded. “I guess as good as I can be. What about you, Mrs. Larson?”
    Kate’s mom didn’t really say anything. She seemed to be thinking long and hard about something. Then she gazed up into my eyes and let out a faint smile.
    “I’m the one who found her you know. Can you imagine? A mother finding her daughter laying on her bed with a gun in her hands. She was just laying there, her blood--”
    Mrs. Larson stopped and more tears came out. I took hold of her hand but said nothing. A figured silence would be best for the grieving mother.
    “You always see in movies how mothers always say they’re not supposed to outlive their children. I never thought I had to worry about that. Kate was always such a happy, healthy girl. I don’t understand.”
    “It doesn’t add up,” I mumbled. “Maybe she never really had a reason to take her life until me. It might really be my fault.”
    “No, no,” Mrs. Larson squeezed my hand tightly. She pulled me down to her eye-level. My back hunched and I met her eye to eye. “Don’t ever blame yourself Justin. You stop this nonsense.”
    I had no other choice but to agree with her. But deep down, I knew. Kate even said it. Kate blamed me. So I should blame me too.
    I stayed later than everyone else. My parents said they would see me at their house and then left around five. The house, after being filled with casseroles, jell-o, and a whole bunch of other homemade foods, emptied pretty quickly.
    I said goodbye to the Larsons around eight and made the walk to my truck. About halfway to my parents’ house, I broke. Thoughts were rushing through my head all to fast and I couldn’t handle it.
    Pulling off the side of the road I just sat there and cried for about as long as I can remember. I just cried, occasionally punching my steering well with the palm of my hand. Every word Kate had said seemed to really hit home.
    If I could have gone back and done something different, I would have changed what I did. Maybe Kate would still be alive. Maybe I could have gone back and tried harder to get Kate to stay in school and bring her grades up.
    What else was there to do. Kate was dead and I realized it really was all my fault. I never tried hard enough.

Reviews

[Talia Renee]

Ugh I think I got a couple tears in my eyes during those last few paragraphs.... Nice job!

[Chloe Christine]

Aw, He really shouldnt blame himself. She didn't come after him, she didn't show she needed him. This is so good!

[TheElfPrincess]

Another sad, yet very good chapter. It's a lovely story you got here with good characters and a nice flow. I really like this. Well done.

[Angie Diane♥&hea..]

I really liked this chapter, but it was sad. I don't like Justin's mother. Justin blames himself because of the words Kate spoke, but it wasn't Justin's fault. Justin has to realize that Kate probably had emotional issues that he didn't really know about. If she had gone off on her own Justin didn't see it. I feel terrible for Kate's parents. And I don't like the fact that Justin was beating himself down. This was a good write. Thanks for sharing.

[Jasi Rae]

Aside from a couple typos and the Jason/Justin mix, I'm really getting into this. It's almost hard for me to read because I feel so horrible for Justin. He's having all this weigh down on him so heavily and no one can make him feel like it isn't his fault. No one except Kate, of course. I'm sure we've all been in the situation where it feels like we can't escape something and it's just dragging us down. I just hope he finds solice.

Overall, I think this is pretty good. It's definitely not my style of writing, so I have to commend you on being able to put in these perspectives. I like you detailing so far. I'm fairly certain I don't need to ask for more because it seems like you're giving us more background with each chapter. I'm looking forward to the next.

[PyroKitty24]

How terribly sad. I can, unfortunately, relate to this story. My best friend killed himself when I was...eh, around twelve? His mother was the one to find him too. You wrote this so brilliantly that I can just feel the emotion in it and feel the regret pouring off of Justin. I love this story, and I can't wait for the next chapter~

[Daydreamer54]

Kate always came first to me.-Kate always came to me fiorst
AW. i feel sorry for her, but there's no use in living in the past, whatr's done is done. :(

[The]

I hadn't read the other two chapters yet, as I normally specialize in poetry, so I'll try not to comment on plot and instead focus on style and language.

A couple spelling mistakes, swapping here for "hear" and Jason for "Justin" in the latter part of this chapter. Unless it's his nickname, or referred to in the previous chapters, you had a simple typo.

I like the narrative style, actually. It reads a lot like most teenage novels--Jodi Picoult, NIcholas Sparks. Not to say it is that caliber (as those authors aren't really that good), but it reads like them. The style and adjectives used are to direct the reader to sentimentality, in which case is effective.

It isn't particularly great writing in terms of depth. It is very straightforward, perhaps as you intend. I wouldn't consider this poor writing, or great writing, but fair. It's plot based, intent on providing glimpses into the human psyche, but revolves more around pushing forward.

Best of luck to you in your future writings.

--CB

[Coyote Poetry]

You have create a powerful story with a lot of emotion. I like how you set-up the story. Bringing the people together piecing the situation together and trying to understand. A excellent chapter. I like the last lines in this chapter.
Coyote

[Bailey C. Writing]

“I’m glad you’re hear, Jason. It wasn’t your fault.
*here
:)
This was so sad :( I feel so bad for him, and Kate's mother. I can't even imagine walking into a room and finding my daughter dead like that...
You're such a good writer -dreamy sigh- lol
And this was a good chapter that actually inspired me to stop being a lazy a*s and write the next chapter to my book that's on here too, so thank you haha
Oh, I fixed a typo up there ^ Just happened to notice :)
As always, cannot wait to read the 4th chapter ^^